My husband refuses to drop me off or pick me up from the hospital. He disagrees with my decision to have surgery. I expected this but now need a plan. For those who have a spouse like mine or kept your surgery a secret, how did you arrange for hospital pick-up/ drop-off? Uber? Swear a friend to secrecy?

12 hours ago, DoodlesMom said:

I reached out to my mother in law who lives in another state. She'll be coming into town on the night of my surgery. She will pick me up after my surgery and stay for a few days while I recover.

I am so glad to hear that your mother-in-law is being helpful & supportive. Wishing you luck with your surgery.?

So glad to hear you are getting support. Maybe she can thwap some sense into her son while she's there... if he were around here he'd get the chancla, no matter how old he is.

I don't know how much your husband weighs, but there's a really easy way to lose around 180lbs before you even have surgery....just saying!!!

Seriously though, I can't even imagine having a spouse so unsupportive that he refuses to pick you up from the hospital. It's not just being a bad spouse, it's being a bad person.

Only thing I can recommend is counseling (for you) to realize your worth and help deal with your relationship.

Good luck!!!!

8 minutes ago, ChubRub said:

I don't know how much your husband weighs, but there's a really easy way to lose around 180lbs before you even have surgery....just saying!!!

Seriously though, I can't even imagine having a spouse so unsupportive that he refuses to pick you up from the hospital. It's not just being a bad spouse, it's being a bad person.

Only thing I can recommend is counseling (for you) to realize your worth and help deal with your relationship.

Good luck!!!!

That is hilarious! I agree with you, get rid of the bum! Chances are the amount of stress a person like that is giving her had a lot to do with putting on the weight. Stress and aggravation can really add on the pounds through stress eating, depression, not wanting to exercise etc, etc.

I'm glad your mother-in-law is supportive and willing to help you out. Hopefully she can smack some sense into her son while you're in the hospital.

Divorce

Is there a close friend or pastor you could ask? I understand what you are going through though. Praying God opens that door to your husband's heart. Health is so important.

I think the ship to open his heart may have sailed.

21 hours ago, TheBusierBee said:

My two cents for what it's worth.

Sounds more like insecurity on the Hubs end. If he's normally supportive in other things maybe this stems from insecurity especially if he's obese too.

If you still have time have him go to a marriage counselor with you esp if your doc suggests one.

This will help him get over his fear that may be causing this behaviour.

Try selling it to him as advantageous to him...a fitter wife who'll be able to help him more.

Keeping you in prayer ?

Thank you for the prayers.

9 hours ago, ChubRub said:

I don't know how much your husband weighs, but there's a really easy way to lose around 180lbs before you even have surgery....just saying!!!

Seriously though, I can't even imagine having a spouse so unsupportive that he refuses to pick you up from the hospital. It's not just being a bad spouse, it's being a bad person.

Only thing I can recommend is counseling (for you) to realize your worth and help deal with your relationship.

Good luck!!!!

Ha! You nailed it! He's 180! LOL--Thanks for the laugh ?

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On 8/24/2021 at 11:09 PM, DoodlesMom said:

Thank you to everyone for your support. I truly appreciate it. Reading the kind words made a really dark time manageable.

I wanted to give an update. I reached out to my mother in law who lives in another state. She'll be coming into town on the night of my surgery. She will pick me up after my surgery and stay for a few days while I recover. She's a loving and caring woman but, it was still tough to ask for something so big. She understands how difficult her son can be. As far as getting to the hospital, I've exhausted every possibility, and taking an Uber seems to be the easiest.

Nothing has been resolved with my husband. He still refuses to be a part of the process. He still insists if I exercise, I'll lose weight. I'm done trying to explain and plead my case. He just doesn't get it. I need to focus on myself and my goals right now. I'm in therapy. The suggested strategies for getting some peace are working.

I have one final appointment in a week to complete my 6-month requirement (yay!) and then it's the waiting game for insurance approval.

Sleeve and tube removal here I come. ?

I am glad your Mother In Law is being supportive and that you are going to focus on yourself. Good luck on your journey!

You can take an uber or a taxi to the airport. And you can take medical transport home. If you google search "medical transport" in your city of surgery, you will find a medical transport company that the hospital can release you to. Also, some in-home care nurses will offer transport. It wouldn't be a bad idea to use one of these in case you need in-home care. You'd be familiar with them should you need to have in-home care.

If I was closer I would help!

On 8/11/2021 at 11:10 PM, DoodlesMom said:

My husband refuses to drop me off or pick me up from the hospital. He disagrees with my decision to have surgery. I expected this but now need a plan. For those who have a spouse like mine or kept your surgery a secret, how did you arrange for hospital pick-up/ drop-off? Uber? Swear a friend to secrecy?

Try care.com. I hired a lady on there to bring and pick me up I just told her the situation because my husband now(boyfriend at the time) was over the road. Greatly, for me he ended up letting his job know he had to leave so he brought me instead.