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I need some advice. I am about 7 weeks post op from revision. My brother passed away last week. I am having a hard time coping. Emotional eating is no longer an option. I would like 1/2 glass of wine. I know that transfer addiction is real to I’m being mindful of my triggers. Any advice would be appreciated.

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I am so sorry for your loss, I would look into therapy for help if possible for assistance.

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I’m so sorry for your loss. For me, I believe that not facing grief helped me to gain weight. In 2009 and 2010 I lost two brothers and my dad. All had chronic issues they’d been dealing with so the stress and sadness was well before their passings. I think if I’d had better coping strategies I could have met the sadness instead of shoving it down. finding a professional to share your struggle with is an excellent idea. I hope you have supportive people around you. Personally I’d try to keep away from the alcohol, but that’s a decision only you can make. Again, I’m so sorry.

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I'm so sorry for your loss. I agree with others who suggested counseling, but if that's not something you want to do, maybe meditation, doing a charity walk for a cause related to their death (If applicable), channeling your grief into making some physical object that reminds you of them, taking up a new exercise program, joining a grief support group, listening to music, journaling...

I hope you find something that can help you in your grief.

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I am so sorry for your loss.. In my experience not many people can stop at 1/2 a glass..so I would be careful about that..(me I'm that person😅)...Also I am about 7 weeks out from a revision surgery and have had lots of similar thoughts...they will pass if you distract yourself long enough or drink a ton of water... Try talking with friends, family or a medical professional about your thoughts. But remember your pouch is still healing and you will be grieving and healing...transfer addiction is a slippery slope and you have been through a lot and need to take care of yourself.

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Very sorry for your loss. I would take the advice of the others and seek some counseling/therapy. Be very careful not to start drinking alcohol especially at this stage.

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So sorry for your loss. Be careful with alcohol. I was revised almost a year ago and I rarely drank but it has developed into something else. It is not the same as before. The bypass has changed the way alcohol effects me and its more or less instant relaxation/gratification? I really cant explain it but I can tell you its no good. I do realize that some bypassers will still have no issues but I am not one of those. I start therapy soon. I had to reach out before something terrible happens. Good luck to you

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    • Aunty Mamo

      Iʻm roughly 6 weeks post-op this morning and have begun to feel like a normal human, with a normal human body again. I started introducing solid foods and pill forms of medications/supplements a couple of weeks ago and it's really amazing to eat meals with my family again, despite the fact that my portions are so much smaller than theirs. 
      I live on the island of Oʻahu and spend a lot of time in the water- for exercise, for play,  and for spiritual & mental health. The day I had my month out appointment with my surgeon, I packed all my gear in my truck, anticipating his permission to get back in the ocean. The minute I walked out of that hospital I drove straight to the shore and got in that water. Hallelujah! My appointment was at 10 am. I didn't get home until after 5 pm. 
      I'm down 31 pounds since the day of surgery and 47 since my pre-op diet began, with that typical week long stall occurring at three weeks. I'm really starting to see some changes lately- some of my clothing is too big, some fits again. The most drastic changes I notice however are in my face. I've also noticed my endurance and flexibility increasing. I was really starting to be held up physically, and I'm so grateful that I'm seeing that turn around in such short order. 
      My general disposition lately is hopeful and motivated. The only thing that bugs me on a daily basis still is the way those supplements make my house smell. So stink! But I just bought a smell proof bag online that other people use to put their pot in. My house doesn't stink anymore. 
       
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    • BeanitoDiego

      Oh yeah, something I wanted to rant about, a billing dispute that cropped up 3 months ago.
      Surgery was in August of 2023. A bill shows up for over $7,000 in January. WTF? I asks myself. I know that I jumped through all of the insurance hoops and verified this and triple checked that, as did the surgeon's office. All was set, and I paid all of the known costs before surgery.
      A looong story short, is that an assistant surgeon that was in the process of accepting money from my insurance company touched me while I was under anesthesia. That is what the bill was for. But hey, guess what? Some federal legislation was enacted last year to help patients out when they cannot consent to being touched by someone out of their insurance network. These types of bills fall under something called, "surprise billing," and you don't have to put up with it.
      https://www.cms.gov/nosurprises
      I had to make a lot of phone calls to both the surgeon's office and the insurance company and explain my rights and what the maximum out of pocket costs were that I could be liable for. Also had to remind them that it isn't my place to be taking care of all of this and that I was going to escalate things if they could not play nice with one another.
      Quick ending is that I don't have to pay that $7,000+. Advocate, advocate, advocate for yourself no matter how long it takes and learn more about this law if you are ever hit with a surprise bill.
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    • BeanitoDiego

      Some days I feel like an infiltrator... I'm participating in society as a "thin" person. They have no idea that I haven't always been one of them! 🤣
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    • ChunkCat

      Thank you everyone for your well wishes! I totally forgot I wrote an update here... I'm one week post op today. I gained 15 lbs in water weight overnight because they had to give me tons of fluids to bring my BP up after surgery! I stayed one night in the hospital. Everything has been fine except I seem to have picked up a bug while I was there and I've been running a low grade fever, coughing, and a sore throat. So I've been hydrating well and sleeping a ton. So far the Covid tests are negative.
      I haven't been able to advance my diet past purees. Everything I eat other than tofu makes me choke and feels like trying to swallow rocks. They warned me it would get worse before it gets better, so lets hope this is all normal. I have my follow up on Monday so we'll see. Living on shakes and soup again is not fun. I had enough of them the first time!! LOL 
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    • BeanitoDiego

      Still purging all of the larger clothing. This morning, a shirt that I ADORED wearing ended up on top. Hard to let it go, but it was also hard to let go of those habits that also no longer serve my highest good. Onward and upward!
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