Can we just be for real ???

[november11 970]

We are embarking on something that will forever change our lives, and there are many health issues WLS will resolve and that's a good thing … But can we just be for real and say We want to look good and sexy and more attractive in our and other's eyes... true or not ?

Let's hear it …….

[GreenTealael 24,867]

Following 💙 Cant wait to see responses

But sadly for me it's false. I promise it was not my purpose. So much so that I am still physically disgusted by positive change in attention pre vs. post from others. I on the other hand thought myself to look fine either way 😂

[FluffyChix 17,409]

[FluffyChix 17,409]

10 minutes ago, GreenTealael said:

But sadly for me it's false. I promise it was not my purpose. So much so that I am still physically disgusted by positive change in attention pre vs. post from others.

I'm so sorry this continues to sadden you. ((hugs))

I had to let that sh*t go. Like Elsa...set it free. LOL. Cuz it would have eaten me alive had I chosen to keep it. Hope you find your way to the point where you can set the garbage on the curb. Give it one last one-finger-salute then walk away without looking back.

You know this is your theme song right?

Or maybe this...

[GreenTealael 24,867]

9 minutes ago, FluffyChix said:

I'm so sorry this continues to sadden you. ((hugs))

I had to let that sh*t go. Like Elsa...set it free. LOL. Cuz it would have eaten me alive had I chosen to keep it. Hope you find your way to the point where you can set the garbage on the curb. Give it one last one-finger-salute then walk away without looking back.

You know this is your theme song right?

Or maybe this...

I have let it go for the most part i understand people are superficial. NBD

However I'm just super tired of being pursued by the same people who would have before. Like I'm magically going to give them a chance because they want me! Who said I wanted them 😂

But I dont want to hijack the thread

I want to hear about bringing Sexy Back

Edited November 6, 2019 by GreenTealael

[JRT Mom 919]

1 hour ago, november11 said:

But can we just be for real and say We want to look good and sexy and more attractive in our and other's eyes...

Darlin that ship sailed for me a loooooong time ago...and I'm not sure I ever got to board it in the first place!😁

Seriously, it really doesn't matter what motivates us to lose weight. The fact that we ARE motivated is what's important, and your motivation is as good as any, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise!

[JRT Mom 919]

1 hour ago, GreenTealael said:

But sadly for me it's false. I promise it was not my purpose. So much so that I am still physically disgusted by positive change in attention pre vs. post from others. I on the other hand thought myself to look fine either way 😂

Like I said above, you have to do it for YOUR reasons. There are no right or wrong motives. And I love the honesty here!

[mousecat88 2,279]

I just hoped that once I got down to this size I would learn to appreciate the way I used to look before I got fat. But that didn't happen. Still unhappy with the way I look. And... I have NEVER given a crap what other people think about my appearance; I am my own worst critic as is. I had a lot of OTHER reasons though. I couldn't do simple things and tasks like wiping my own booty was starting to become challenging and I was NOT about to let it get past that point. The quality of life factor played the largest role in my decision.... because my quality of life was going downhill.

Edited November 6, 2019 by mousecat88

[november11 970]

yes . I feel that I would appreciate the way I would look as well as feel after wls . health is a important factor of any thing in life . I just wanted some of us to not feel vain if we admitted that we want to LOOK better and it's not just about getting rid of that cpat mask or pressure pill... it's perfectly ok to want to feel more attractive to yourself as well as others. Let's be honest some who are pretending it's only about being "healthy " are doing other "unhealthy" things for enjoyment every day or weekend.....

[FluffyChix 17,409]

There is a hierarchy of needs in WLS just as in life-a Maslow's Hierarchy of sorts. I think it looks quite a lot like this one below that I just made up. We all advance on the rungs at different rates. And for me, the looking/feeling sexy came WAY after a lot of other "stuff." It was not my primary motivation. But each of us have different reasons for our WHY. They are all valid regardless of where they plug into the ladder (hierarchy).

I couldn't even address what I call my "vanity pound weight loss" = the last 10-15lbs, until I was there...and that took me 140ish pounds and 2 years to get there...

WLS Hierarchy of NEEDS Ladder:

BONUS! Yahtzee!!! The thirteenth (bonus) rung up from there is SELF-ACTUALIZATION

12. The twelfth rung up from there is to REACH PERSONAL WEIGHT GOALS

11. The eleventh rung up from there is a DESIRE TO CLAIM SEXINESS/BEAUTY/ALL-THAT-AND-A-BUCKET-OF-CHEESE

10. The tenth rung up from there is an INCREASED DESIRE FOR ACTIVITY/SOCIALIZATION

09. The nineth rung up from there is SHOPPING (hehe)

08. The eighth rung up from there is not feeling afraid to be EXPOSED RATHER THAN INVISIBLE

07. The seventh rung up from there is IMPROVED/NEW RELATIONSHIPS/JOB/FINANCES

06. The sixth rung up from there is CHANGING NEEDS/DEMANDS FROM RELATIONSHIPS

05. The fifth rung up from that is IMPROVED CONFIDENCE

04. The fourth rung up from that is FEELING BETTER EMOTIONALLY

03. The third rung up from that is FEELING BETTER PHYSICALLY

02. The second rung up from that is GETTING OFF MEDS

01. The bottom foundation for most of us is: HEALTH IMPROVEMENTS

Edited November 6, 2019 by FluffyChix

[JAKE H 1,230]

if im being honest its definitely true for me. I had the same girl since high school show interest in me, and i would never allow her in close to me because i didnt feel i was good enough for her. (thats my own ****). i got the surgery and i finally had the confidence to take her out because of the surgery. and now we are dating and im happier then ever. but i would have never before because i didnt feel enough, even tho she constantly tells me shes not with me because of the weight loss. so yeah i had this surgery to get healthy, but god damn it i wanted to look good too.

[JRT Mom 919]

You look great and you both are an attractive couple! (I'm assuming you are seeing the girl in the jeans and not the lady with the lantern, right?😁

[JAKE H 1,230]

lol!! i was waiting for someone to say that. yes the girl in the jeans is the one im seeing. hahaha

thank you though! i appreciate it

Edited November 6, 2019 by JAKE H

[Jazzy1125 1,008]

my motivation was to be able to get on the dance floor and not be embarassed about my size when ballroom dancing. So in a sense yes, but not for the sake of men LOL.. I am too independent for that.. its either you like me or you dont LOL

[Panda333 275]

Health is still #1 for me but damn str8, i can’t wait to look good to myself and others. Sadly, I know after massive weight loss It will not be...... For me it’s massive...some of you start at 200 which I consider small but I started above 300. What will happen is that i will look good in my clothes assuming I hit my goal, but I won’t look Good nekkid. So....then plastics need to be done. We don’t want to go through all this to not love our BOD. So...saving $$ for plastics is important to me. Not sure i anyone follows Bariatric surgeon Dr. V, on YouTube but he has many videos how if you have massive weight loss, you must have plastics afterThat’s the only way to get rid of those fat cells and for you to get right mentally. Those fat cells won’t leave unless you get plastic surgery...so you can lose weight....but they stay there....those little cells.waiting for you to feed them again and get fluffy again. Plastics will be motivation not to gain again. Just my 2 cents for whateva it’s worth, lol.