I've decided not to tell anyone other than my husband. I just don't want to deal with the judgment, or feel like I'm the subject of gossip. I'm hoping to be back at work 2 weeks after surgery (I have a sedentary job), so will hopefully be able to just use some vacation time. My husband is 100% on board with the surgery and with keeping it a secret, so I'm very thankful for that!!

Anyone else keeping it a secret? Or are you telling just a few people, or the whole world?

I hadn't actually thought about telling people about my new lifestyle, but that is a great idea. Of course telling my nurse sister-in-law is really telling the entire family. It's tele-phone, tele-graph, and tell-a-sister in law. LOL! I love her dearly, but she does like to tell everyone else in the family everyone else's business. Perhaps if I swear her to secrecy that will help. I'd rather just tell people that I've changed my eating habits and picked up some exercise. Besides, who knows when I'll hit a plateau and have to up my game to get going on the loss again.

I feel like people are judgmental no matter how someone loses weight. I've gotten negative responses in the past from doing both Keto, Medifast, and even WW. A few years ago I dropped 75lbs and when people asked me, I just said in a joking manner "I stopped eating! It sucks!" Ha ha!

Hi all! At this point in time, only my husband, my family and a few close friends know. I work remotely from home, so there's no need for me to tell coworkers. I told my bosses that I needed to take a few days off because of surgery, but that it was nothing serious. My side of the family is in NJ, while we live in Texas close to my husband's family. Haven't told anyone on that side yet, but with the holidays coming...they'll see me not eating much and I'm sure they'll get suspicious, so I'll have to spill the beans at some point.

On 10/14/2019 at 10:00 AM, ChubRub said:

I've decided not to tell anyone other than my husband. I just don't want to deal with the judgment, or feel like I'm the subject of gossip. I'm hoping to be back at work 2 weeks after surgery (I have a sedentary job), so will hopefully be able to just use some vacation time. My husband is 100% on board with the surgery and with keeping it a secret, so I'm very thankful for that!!

Anyone else keeping it a secret? Or are you telling just a few people, or the whole world?

My journey, my business...I haven't changed my stance on the topic. We all have our own reasons why we do what we do or don't do. I'm at peace with my privacy and wish to have it respected.

I thought about keeping it a secret but I figured that would be too difficult. I'm a very private person but I decided to tell everyone my plan months in advance. I've had nothing but super positive support from family and co-workers. I have those who want to have it done approach me all the time with questions and curiosity. The first week or two after surgery was difficult for me psychologically. It's nice to talk about it with other people. Those who had surgery prior to me were helpful and always there to give me advice. I'm not one who really cares about what others opinions are of me. I am a very honest person and I have worked with the same people for 16 years so I knew when the time came and questions would be asked, I didn't want to put myself in a situation where I would lie or blind side them with the truth.

I’ve told a handful of close friends & my parents. Oddly enough, I wish I would never have told my mom. My surgery should be sometime in December & all I plan on telling my work is that I need time off for a minor surgery. I’m very on the fence now about telling anyone else.

18 hours ago, Hannah! said:

I’ve told a handful of close friends & my parents. Oddly enough, I wish I would never have told my mom. My surgery should be sometime in December & all I plan on telling my work is that I need time off for a minor surgery. I’m very on the fence now about telling anyone else.

Funny that you say this! My mom is the one person I don't want to tell, which is why I'm not telling anyone else. She means well, but man her comments break my heart sometimes.

Funny how each of us approaches this differently.
It’s also a shame that we have to have this conversation.

Think about it— if someone were to need surgery to have an appendectomy, a hysterectomy or have a tumor removed or have any other physical condition corrected there wouldn’t be this level of discussion.
But WLS is still so judged.
No matter where people are— whether they’ve never struggled with obesity or have struggled their entire lives, they will be all over the spectrum from extremely positive to negative.

I’m generally a pretty open person, but sharing this is difficult.
I too find myself more able to share with complete strangers than with people I’ve known. Maybe bc I don’t have anything invested in the strangers.

I’m also a natural empath and I feel like I can read most people when they comment or ask.
If one of my patients comments and I can sense that they genuinely care and are concerned (I am after all a cancer survivor and a lot of people know that) then I tell them briefly about the WLS and that I’m “okay” and “not sick again” If I feel as if the person commenting doesn’t deserve the info, then I tell them I’m on a medically supervised diet and exercise regimen.
When the inevitable “oh, so you’re doing keto?” comment follows, I nod and tell them “yes” because I don’t eat carbs anyway due to the restriction so I figure that’s as accurate as I need to be.

There are some patients I have who are MO and weirdly enough, many of them don’t ask. Maybe they already know, but I think mostly they understand the burden of MO and know better than to ask or comment.

Almost every single of my close friends are MO, and they all knew.
Sadly most of them are avoiding my right now, but that’s the topic of another thread and I’m working my way through that

Not sure if I'm so different because I'm a guy, but I personally don't care who knows; my health, my choice. If people don't like it, I will gladly point the door out of my life.

On 10/14/2019 at 1:39 PM, andis654 said:

I've told my husband, 4 of my closest friends, my boss, my parents and my brother. I also have said it on Instagram but I only have 1 person that really knows me there lol. I decided not to tell my other family right now. More than likely someone will find out about it and that's fine but I'll let them ask me if they're that interested lol. I'm not going to broadcast it to everyone. I really wish I hadn't told my parents and brother now though.

I'm thinking of telling my parents and sisters this weekend. Surgery is the 29th of October.

Why do you wish you didn't tell them? If you don't want to answer that is fine, I'm a little nervous of telling mine.

My big mouth husband has been telling EVERYONE. I told my immediate family and my best friend who had gastric bypass 12 years ago.
She had started putting weight back on and I have given her an incentive to get back with her weight loss efforts.
I am luckier in that I am retired but once get near my weight goal, I plan on visiting friends at the work place from which I retired.

I’ve told my mom and 2 friends. My boss only knows I’m having surgery. I’ve asked those I’ve told not to share but I fully expect my mom to talk to my aunt. I have a cousin that had it last year so I’m sure they will be told as well.

My family of course, sisters and those that know of my serious health issues I’ve been dealing with for years. I know they won’t judge me as they know what I’ve went thru all these yrs. I’m now trying to save my life and get off some of my medication as I’m stage 3 kidney failure nearing stage 4.

2 hours ago, jenforr108 said:

My family of course, sisters and those that know of my serious health issues I’ve been dealing with for years. I know they won’t judge me as they know what I’ve went thru all these yrs. I’m now trying to save my life and get off some of my medication as I’m stage 3 kidney failure nearing stage 4.

Oh wow! I'm so sorry! Will losing weight possibly reverse the kidney damage? Sorry for asking, I just don't know anything about how that works. Best of luck to you!

I have been struggling with his myself. My surgery is scheduled for December. I live in the same city as my husband’s ex-wife - who grew up with, and is still friends with, my husband’s very large family. My step kids also live here and no one has any boundaries, so telling them is akin to announcing it on social media. It’s hard though. We just moved back to the area and so I don’t have close friends here. So, unless I change my mind, hubby is my sole source of support. He is supportive but I’m feeling a bit needy about it all. I’m trying not to overwhelm him with my every thought. I’m thinking though that I can always change my mind and tell but once that cat is out of the bag...