my sister say I'm taking easy way out by having weight loss surgery, but she doesn't realize how hard it is to be over 600 lbs. Do you have any advice you can give me to tell my sister I'm not taking easy way out by having surgery to help me live healthy and better life.

Just tell her to butt out. It's your weight, your life , your journey.

It's not the easy way out but even if it was why should that matter.

I guess my response would be:

"I know you love me and want the best for me. I hope you will take some time to learn about this process and the struggle I am facing because I could really, really use some positive support from you."

However, If she really can't BE positive, or even just better educated, you will need to make peace with that fact and hold true to what you know is right. (Maybe even in the face of some outright hostility. Often the people closest to you fear big change because of perceptions of how it will affect THEM.)

Continue on, find other supportive people if you need to, and just take care of YOU.

Your job is not to convince others if this is process is easy, hard or anything else. Your job is to find a way back to your best life... and no one else's opinions get to decide the path that gets you there but YOU.

?

I'd just tell her that I have put a lot of thought and research into this decision and that I would love to have her support but if she simply can't support me then to please keep her opinions to herself because I don't need that stress on top of having surgery.

And of course you always have support here

Ask her what kind of moron would want to do everything the hardest possible way. Does she push her car to work everyday? Use the cat's tail to apply eye shadow?

She's not being very supportive, but then again it's hard for others to understand our plight with obesity. Do what's best for you. It isn't the easy way out because the dieting continues for years after the surgery. The surgery doesn't magically make you skinny. It's a lot of work, but the surgery is just a tool that makes it a little bit easier to do the diet. I didn't tell anybody but my husband about my WLS because I didn't want to hear the judgers and the haters and making me feel like crap like I wasn't strong enough to do it on my own.

A big reason I held off on doing WLS surgery for so long was I was worried people would think I was taking the easy way out and judge me for it. When I confessed this to my mom she gave me some great advice that it wasn't the easy way out, we still have to put in the work for the weight loss. WLS surgery would just help put me on the right track toward getting healthy. I'm so glad I listened to her and thus far, she's been right. I've still been putting work in, I just gained a tool to push me in the right direction when I struggle to make good decisions.

Also, even if it were the easy way out why is that a bad thing? Do people need to see a struggle to make weight loss valid in their minds? If there were an easier way to get healthy shouldn't we be allowed to take it?

Edited April 14, 20197 yr by ItsABearDance

Tell her to suck an egg. So many people assume that these surgeries are the easy way out but they don't understand what goes into preop, post op and for the rest of your life.

Family members can be toxic, you don't have to justify yourself or your actions to her.

It’s for you and you are worth it. Under standing obesity, physiology and psychology will help your dear sister understand the complexities of weight loss. She should take several seats and educate herself before popping off.

I have always thought so,anything to smooth out a very emotionally and difficult time, do you feel like
she is saying, even though she might. not phrase it this way "You haven't suffered enough, because you're fat, you have,not suffered sufficently yet!" That's the way many people in the outside? act, like obesity is a choice we all made to cause them trouble and have our appearance to. only repulse them. My mama , bless her ?and may she rest in,peace, overfed me as a baby. At 1 year,i was 35 inches tall and 36 pounds, where many people wear t- shirts that say BORN TO BE WILD, well mine literally can say BORN TO BE FAT, see at the end of WW II the thought was "Fat Babies are Healthy Babies" medicine has changed its mind since then, but I still am riding that tornado's tail all these years later. But day by day I slowly get thinner, I am going to Rock the Silver and Golden Citizen. ?right back on its heels! Varoom Varoom ?!

At the end of the day, you are at home with YOU! And you are doing this for you.. I have been a people pleaser all my life and at 47, I decided it me that deals with me! I have 2 people that are mad at me for doing it, but they are skinny people, they don’t know the hurt and the struggles that I have, so I have decided to smile and be nice to them and do it for ME.. I’m getting it done April 17, and I’m. Happy about it.. I’ve tried and failed so many times and I’m going to win at this.. do it for YOU.. not for anyone else,..

You don't have to justify your medical choices to anyone. Don't deny yourself access to a tool that can improve your quality of life because of somebody's opinion.

13 hours ago, Summer56 said:

my sister say I'm taking easy way out by having weight loss surgery,

Who cares?

If she says to you that you're taking the easy way out, simply answer "So?"

2 hours ago, Venessa Blair said:

At the end of the day, you are at home with YOU! And you are doing this for you.. I have been a people pleaser all my life and at 47, I decided it me that deals with me! I have 2 people that are mad at me for doing it, but they are skinny people, they don’t know the hurt and the struggles that I have, so I have decided to smile and be nice to them and do it for ME.. I’m getting it done April 17, and I’m. Happy about it.. I’ve tried and failed so many times and I’m going to win at this.. do it for YOU.. not for anyone else,..

Most, if not all, of the negative reactions I experienced were from normal BMI/thin people.

People who don't struggle with weight need to check their privilege and be more supportive.

On 4/13/2019 at 11:58 PM, FluffySaysForkIt! said:

I guess my response would be:

"I know you love me and want the best for me. I hope you will take some time to learn about this process and the struggle I am facing because I could really, really use some positive support from you."

However, If she really can't BE positive, or even just better educated, you will need to make peace with that fact and hold true to what you know is right. (Maybe even in the face of some outright hostility. Often the people closest to you fear big change because of perceptions of how it will affect THEM.)

Continue on, find other supportive people if you need to, and just take care of YOU.

Your job is not to convince others if this is process is easy, hard or anything else. Your job is to find a way back to your best life... and no one else's opinions get to decide the path that gets you there but YOU.

?

Best advice I've seen on here! Extremely supportive and genuine!❣?