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Has anyone kept their surgery a secret?



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soo, I kept mine secret - only told my wife, my manager and a month pre-op my parents. My wife ended up telling my sister (turned out to be my best advocate), then she told her mom who told my father in law, and then her sister who probably told her husband. Was not at all what I wanted but not much I can do about it now. When I'm down 125 lbs and back down to my high school weight then maybe I will look at it different but right now I don't need more to worry/stress about. People in the office did ask if I had WLS - I don't like the discussion because I don't like lieing.

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I am keeping mine private. My husband and 2 of my children that I see daily. I love my Mom but she is very judgmental and I don’t want to deal with negativity. My boss at work knows as I will have to take time off as for my coworkers I will just tell them I am having a procedure done. I am scheduled to have my surgery March 8. My husband is scheduled to have a kidney transplant March 26 so I will be off work until he is at least 3 weeks postop. A lot going on but I need to be healthy not only for myself but for my family.

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I didn’t keep my surgery a secret... Partially because I work in healthcare and my coworkers would easily put two and two together but mostly because I was comfortable talking about it. The big thing is feeling comfortable with that; if you don’t then that’s okay. I finally plucked up the courage to start the process for my surgery and a better life because my colleague had the procedure done and was open about it. Maybe some day that will be me in her shoes? I don’t know but it was the right choice for me.

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On 01/28/2019 at 12:49, GettinSkinnywithit said:



soo, I kept mine secret - only told my wife, my manager and a month pre-op my parents. My wife ended up telling my sister (turned out to be my best advocate), then she told her mom who told my father in law, and then her sister who probably told her husband. Was not at all what I wanted but not much I can do about it now. When I'm down 125 lbs and back down to my high school weight then maybe I will look at it different but right now I don't need more to worry/stress about. People in the office did ask if I had WLS - I don't like the discussion because I don't like lieing.


That’s really crappy. I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with all of that invasion of your privacy. I think ultimately people aren’t thinking about us as much as we think they are... hopefully the work chatter will end when the next point of focus comes to their attention.

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I haven’t told many people. I’ve lost 100 pounds and people don’t even mention it. It’s actually bizarre. I think it’s totally possible to tell no one, and people won’t notice the everyday variables like how much you’re eating in front of them.

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I’ve told my husband, my two best friends, a friend who has had wls, and that’s it. My mom will most likely try to talk me out of surgery, and my mil will tell everyone she knows and I don’t need the whole family knowing my business.

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None of my extended family members know. I didn't want many people knowing, my husband told his family and I was livid.

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On 01/31/2019 at 15:49, kate_0329 said:



None of my extended family members know. I didn't want many people knowing, my husband told his family and I was livid.


Oh I would be too.

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I have only told my family and two friends. I am a very private person, and don't believe in discussing my personal choices with anyone that ask. So, I just tell them about my healthy diet and exercise plan.

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Only my husband, children and best friend know. I'm very private. Because my husband is dieting and we are eating very low carb, when folks ask, I attribute it to a change in diet.


YES!! No one knows except my wls support group and medical team. I am very private also and feel its no one elses businesses. Prior to surgery, i did tell 1 friend that i was scheduled, but that I still wasnt sure if i was going thru with it and we havnt about it since. NONE of my family knows, not even my mother. Definitely, no one at my job knows. I live alone, so that made it easier. The day of surgery and post-op, I was by myself and perfectly fine. The only scary part was thinking about if something happened to me during the operation, it wld have been a shock to my emergency contact, but hey God worked it all out. I chose to keep it private bec i jst dont want to hear ppls opinions, comments, judgements & gossip about what I chose to do with my body. Its so irritating. About 12yrs ago, i lost 105lbs, without surgery. I kept it off for about 5yrs before gaining it all plus more back. When losing the weight, ppl wld always make comments or make reference to my weight or weight loss. At first, I was cool bec most were compliments. But when the sly remarks, jealousy and meanness happened, thats when it became too much. When i started gaining weight back over the yrs, family was the worst with the comments. I swore this time around, I wldnt let ppl get to me like before. Some Ppl feel they hv the right to say anything they want, however they want to ppl who struggle with their weight and Im not opening myself up to that anymore

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Only my husband and kids know. Not ashamed this is simply my journey and I want no other influences in this journey except my own. If someone however asks and me sharing could save their lives, then, I know I'm sharing for a reason bigger than my privacy and I would/will.

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62-ur old guy here. Had sleeve in August and I’m down about 85 pounds. Exercising regularly and feeling great. Decided long before surgery to share openly w fam, friends, coworkers. No regrets. I’ve received tons of support across the board.

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I’ve only told my mom and my husband. I am trying to decide if I should tell my children. I just don’t think it’s anyone’s business but mine. If I fee compelled to tell someone I think I will. Other than that... it’s not anyone’s business. I’m just trying to figure out how long I need off work? They are very judgements about it at my work and I don’t need the negativity. So I’d prefer to only be out 2 weeks if possible. I only work 2 days a week. Any thoughts on that?

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Yeah i don’t tell anyone. It’s not their business. Co workers don’t know because i’ve changed jobs since. It’s not shame or a secret it’s more like who cares? I don’t volunteer info about anything else in my life. Nor have i ever felt the need to announce that i was fat, so why announce that i’m not? If they as how i lost weight, i just say i watch what i eat which is very accurate and i workout a lot.

Some people believe in telling the world because it could help someone and what not, that’s their choice. I’m always willing to help in a support group format. I would never discuss anyone’s weight otherwise.

I also just don’t have time for nosy questions or judgement, it’s just freeing to be more private.

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