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Has anyone kept their surgery a secret?



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On 12/31/2018 at 11:50 AM, J Johnston said:

Only my husband, children and best friend know. I'm very private. Because my husband is dieting and we are eating very low carb, when folks ask, I attribute it to a change in diet.

I kept mine private. My parents and my husband know and my work knows since I obviously am not working right now because I'm recovering from the procedure but I didn't tell anyone else and I didn't post about it on Facebook or anything.

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I am a pretty private person, I only told the people I know and trust. I am in a group of 10 people who are in the same phase. One of the women is from the home town of my parents. Boy, do I regret telling her that! Apparantly she gossipped and my mom, who was doing grocery shopping, got asked by a someone random if I were to have the gastric surgery 😕 Why, oh why do people talk about other people.

Xapphirea, it has always been thus.

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I had surgery 8 years ago. My physicians are the only ones who know.

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I am so into that - it was for you - your decision - love it !!!

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You can't hide rapid weight loss. You don't owe anyone an explanation. Disclose what you want

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I told immediate family and one work friend beforehand. Oh, and individual friends who live out of state/country. Then I've been revealing it one by one to the rest of the family (basically, you see me in person, you get the actual scoop) and on a person-by-person basis for others.

I'm very aware that a limited explanation will likely reinforce the "you only need to diet and exercise" storyline, which I personally found harmful when it was recited at me in the past decade, so I do try to be forthright about it. Surgery is the only thing that works permanently, and I don't want to mislead. But I am selective about who I tell - the gym rat who eats only chicken breasts, is looking to shave off five pounds and wants my secret diet tricks? No. The coworker with a 9 month old baby and 30 pregnancy pounds she can't shake? Yes.

It really is up to you as an individual, but I'd like to do what I can to remove the surgery stigma. It's the only thing that works reliably, and pushing back against decades of social conditioning that ignores science and insists it's only a matter of willpower is important. But that's not a path for everyone, and I wouldn't judge anyone who chooses to be private about what is, currently, a stigmatized procedure.

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The only one that knows is my husband. I did not tell anyone else. I needed to deal with my own emotions and not with everyone's emotions. Their opinions, what they think, etc......

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When I first started this journey I decided to be completely honest with others about my experience, in hopes to help others who needed someone like I did. My family and coworkers have been a very strong support system during my journey. People have started noticing the weight loss now and I have been honest with those who have asked and tried to explain the process and that this is not just a "fix all" like some people seem to think. However, I've found that with most people, as soon as I say I had weight loss surgery... eyes glaze over and they don't even listen to the parts about drinking tons of Water, healthy foods, proper portions, workouts 5 days a week. All the hard work they just block out. That has gotten me a bit discouraged recently and I find my self wondering now if I want to continue being completely honest with everyone or maybe just do it as a person by person basis. I knew I would be judged by some people when I told them but I was really hoping to change there mind and stop some of the stigma that revolves around this surgery by explaining all the hard work that goes into it. So now I'm rethinking being so honest with everyone.

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My kids and my husband and one friend know. My son told his fiancee. That's it. Too many judgmental people in my life. Everyone has been trying to talk me into doing keto, not knowing I've done the surgery. It bothers me that people are trying to push me into it. Plus I'm so emotional post op. I've lost nearly 30 lbs in a month and a half and I feel like them pushing me means I haven't lost fast enough for them. So if I tell them I've had the surgery what will they think? That I can't do anything right? No thank you. I'll keep it to myself.

Sent from my LGL59BL using BariatricPal mobile app

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2 hours ago, Mountain Gal said:

When I first started this journey I decided to be completely honest with others about my experience, in hopes to help others who needed someone like I did. My family and coworkers have been a very strong support system during my journey. People have started noticing the weight loss now and I have been honest with those who have asked and tried to explain the process and that this is not just a "fix all" like some people seem to think. However, I've found that with most people, as soon as I say I had weight loss surgery... eyes glaze over and they don't even listen to the parts about drinking tons of Water, healthy foods, proper portions, workouts 5 days a week. All the hard work they just block out. That has gotten me a bit discouraged recently and I find my self wondering now if I want to continue being completely honest with everyone or maybe just do it as a person by person basis. I knew I would be judged by some people when I told them but I was really hoping to change there mind and stop some of the stigma that revolves around this surgery by explaining all the hard work that goes into it. So now I'm rethinking being so honest with everyone.

I was the same way. At first i would tell whoever asked. After a few interactions with normies (that's what we call non-surgery people in our support group) I now go by a person by person basis. In general I say "I worked with my doctor on meal and exercise program". That usually is enough for most.

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I haven't had my surgery yet... still in the pre-op stage of getting all my stuff done and submitted to insurance... but I am kind of open book. I have always worn my emotions on my sleeve (no pun intended) and so pretty much my entire family knows of my decision. Husband, kids, parents, in-laws, brothers... I have read many things that say a support system will really help with the weight loss. So for me, I need all the help I can get!

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I still keep mine private but the people who are around me wouldn't stop asking and im honestly not too embarrassed or ashamed of my decisions. I guess its a "vibe" or "aura" thing with some people. If I read them and I feel they have a negative type aura I won't tell them, etc.

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I kept mine secret. Only my boyfriend and my parents know. It’s no one’s business and I didn’t want any judgment.

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I’m so glad you brought this up because I have told no one but my husband - and wondered if that is “normal” - but I don’t particularly need people knowing my personal business. I haven’t gotten my surgery date yet and don’t plan on sharing after I have it done either.

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No, I'm keeping it a secret from family and friends. Only my husband knows.

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