Regain after reaching goal

[SpartanMaker 1,240]

We've had a number of veterans that have come back here recently after getting to goal (or mostly to goal), but then life got in the way and they had a significant amount of regain. I wanted to ask those that have gone through this, what thoughts you have for the rest of us on how to prevent the regain?

It's easy for someone like me that's not faced this to think "it's easy, if regain starts, just do xyz", but I know it's never that simple. Maybe said differently, in hindsight would you have done anything differently? I know some of you went through some really rough Patches mentally & emotionally and your health took a back seat. Maybe your options were limited and you might not have been able to do much about it. I still think it would be nice to hear what thoughts you have for the rest of us that maybe have not faced this (yet).

[Dub 10,004]

Anyone who has ever flown commercial has seen the safety briefing, right ?

"In the case of cabin pressure drop....an air mask will lower itself in front of each passenger.....put your own in place before helping those beside you"

Took me quite a while to realize that our own personal health condition is no different.

The WLS provided a wild ride for about three years. Surgery yield excellent weight loss results. Faster than I was ready for. I didn't make the best of decisions and never missed the opportunity to go have fun.

One day....I woke up from the hubris and took inventory. My marriage had somehow survived...as it had survived tough times well prior. I was a dad to an insanely gifted son. I had a good job surrounded by great people. Mostly, though....my wife was there at my side and patiently waiting for me to get my head extracted from my arse.

I did.

We then had what can only be described as the best years of our marriage....like we were dating again. I was blessed and the first to acknowledge such.

She had some health issues arise and we discovered it was worse than we were expecting. Diagnosis was cancer....treatment began right away but it was a terminal diagnosis. She fought hard...superhuman efforts. Her pain tolerance was Simply Beyond my compression. Cancer took her in April of 2021.

I maintained my promise to her to keep on with the sobriety.

I failed in most other ways. I had zero desire to cook as it was too painful. Anytime I'd try the sense of loss would be overpowering. We had so many fun times in and around the kitchen....I'd cook and she'd help me clean up my mess. Music always on....every day together was alike a date night.

I remain so very grateful to have been given those recent great years together....but I chickened out when it involved anything we'd once do together. No cooking of anything other than maybe a quick breakfast.....no music....no movies or shows we once enjoyed, no gym, no maintaining of friendships......just went to work each day and came home....existing off fast food and vending machine garbage at work.

Three and a half years went on like that.

As the fourth anniversary of her death loomed, I once again took inventory. What I acknowledged was ugly. The mirror sucked, the way most of my clothes fit sucked, my annual checkups with our primary care doc sucked....and I owned every single bit of it. I owned all that suck.

I also knew that she would kick my ass for letting myself give up like I had. I've never quit anything in my life....yet there I was....quitting on pretty much everything. I pissed myself off so badly.

I made the decision to crawl outa that hole and do what she would have me do if she was here to push & pull on me to get my shyt together. She fought so hard to live....and there I was... giving up...no fight, no attempt, just giving up like a punk.

So things began to improve greatly when I started jumping on what I could gain control of. My health was a perfect place to start.....

And so it has been going the last few months. Daily macros are improving more each day. Essentially Keto but am supplementing with fish oil, Fiber, turmeric, powdered greens, multi-vitamins.....trying to shore up every aspect of daily good stuff taken in. I flipped the collective bird to all the fast food restaurants and their drive thru windows. Screw 'em all.

Found the stereo again....whether in the truck or at the house. There is music.

Took over the yardwork....and there is a pile of it needed.

Joined a gym. Bought some new ear buds and gym clothes....and a heap more new music.

In short.....I acknowledged that throwing my own health away was what had been selfish......taking control of it was imperative.

The loss is still there....but my response to it is now different.

Now I am doing much more to honor her by living as she wanted me to. She wanted me to live....all aspects of living.

Health first, foremost and always.......and the other aspects of living are becoming more clear each day.

Life is a gift. Squandering that gift is a crime.

Longwinded answer.

[NeonRaven8919 572]

32 minutes ago, Dub said:

Anyone who has ever flown commercial has seen the safety briefing, right ?

"In the case of cabin pressure drop....an air mask will lower itself in front of each passenger.....put your own in place before helping those beside you"

Took me quite a while to realize that our own personal health condition is no different.

The WLS provided a wild ride for about three years. Surgery yield excellent weight loss results. Faster than I was ready for. I didn't make the best of decisions and never missed the opportunity to go have fun.

One day....I woke up from the hubris and took inventory. My marriage had somehow survived...as it had survived tough times well prior. I was a dad to an insanely gifted son. I had a good job surrounded by great people. Mostly, though....my wife was there at my side and patiently waiting for me to get my head extracted from my arse.

I did.

We then had what can only be described as the best years of our marriage....like we were dating again. I was blessed and the first to acknowledge such.

She had some health issues arise and we discovered it was worse than we were expecting. Diagnosis was cancer....treatment began right away but it was a terminal diagnosis. She fought hard...superhuman efforts. Her pain tolerance was Simply Beyond my compression. Cancer took her in April of 2021.

I maintained my promise to her to keep on with the sobriety.

I failed in most other ways. I had zero desire to cook as it was too painful. Anytime I'd try the sense of loss would be overpowering. We had so many fun times in and around the kitchen....I'd cook and she'd help me clean up my mess. Music always on....every day together was alike a date night.

I remain so very grateful to have been given those recent great years together....but I chickened out when it involved anything we'd once do together. No cooking of anything other than maybe a quick breakfast.....no music....no movies or shows we once enjoyed, no gym, no maintaining of friendships......just went to work each day and came home....existing off fast food and vending machine garbage at work.

Three and a half years went on like that.

As the fourth anniversary of her death loomed, I once again took inventory. What I acknowledged was ugly. The mirror sucked, the way most of my clothes fit sucked, my annual checkups with our primary care doc sucked....and I owned every single bit of it. I owned all that suck.

I also knew that she would kick my ass for letting myself give up like I had. I've never quit anything in my life....yet there I was....quitting on pretty much everything. I pissed myself off so badly.

I made the decision to crawl outa that hole and do what she would have me do if she was here to push & pull on me to get my shyt together. She fought so hard to live....and there I was... giving up...no fight, no attempt, just giving up like a punk.

So things began to improve greatly when I started jumping on what I could gain control of. My health was a perfect place to start.....

And so it has been going the last few months. Daily macros are improving more each day. Essentially Keto but am supplementing with fish oil, Fiber, turmeric, powdered greens, multi-vitamins.....trying to shore up every aspect of daily good stuff taken in. I flipped the collective bird to all the fast food restaurants and their drive thru windows. Screw 'em all.

Found the stereo again....whether in the truck or at the house. There is music.

Took over the yardwork....and there is a pile of it needed.

Joined a gym. Bought some new ear buds and gym clothes....and a heap more new music.

In short.....I acknowledged that throwing my own health away was what had been selfish......taking control of it was imperative.

The loss is still there....but my response to it is now different.

Now I am doing much more to honor her by living as she wanted me to. She wanted me to live....all aspects of living.

Health first, foremost and always.......and the other aspects of living are becoming more clear each day.

Life is a gift. Squandering that gift is a crime.

Longwinded answer.

That's a wonderful, but sad, story. It's also incredibly happy. You find your way through the darkness and that's incredible!

[Georgia 2,910]

Regain is easy, but it can be totally controlled with the right mindset. It’s been 15 years since I had gastric sleeve surgery done lost 100 pounds within eight months and stayed there for a good while I would go up and down 15 to 20 pounds every couple years the only thing that ever works for me is low-carb or Keto so that’s what I do. I jump back on the bandwagon. Make sure I Watched my snacking and sliders as everybody knows what those are and get it off this last year I did a GLP one and lost the final 30 pounds below my original goal. I’m happier than I’ve ever been. I’m 71 years old going strong travel often enjoy life the best thing I’ve ever done Healthwise and just Let’s be honest good for your pride you can do it. It’s just a tool and we have to work it. Go team go.

[SpartanMaker 1,240]

3 hours ago, Georgia said:

Regain is easy, but it can be totally controlled with the right mindset. It’s been 15 years since I had gastric sleeve surgery done lost 100 pounds within eight months and stayed there for a good while I would go up and down 15 to 20 pounds every couple years the only thing that ever works for me is low-carb or Keto so that’s what I do. I jump back on the bandwagon. Make sure I Watched my snacking and sliders as everybody knows what those are and get it off this last year I did a GLP one and lost the final 30 pounds below my original goal. I’m happier than I’ve ever been. I’m 71 years old going strong travel often enjoy life the best thing I’ve ever done Healthwise and just Let’s be honest good for your pride you can do it. It’s just a tool and we have to work it. Go team go.

Thanks for your post!

To be clear, I'm not fighting regain, I'm more trying to hone in on understanding what those that faced it would have done differently. I'm especially interested in those that regained a lot. A common theme for some of these folks has been significant life events and I'm curious if they feel they would have done anything differently given the chance?

Edited yesterday at 06:20 PM by SpartanMaker

[SpartanMaker 1,240]

@Dub My heart goes out to you.

I honestly suspect I wouldn't have handled it as well as you. I do worry sometimes that I could end up in the same situation since my wife does not exercise and is pretty heavy. Her health seems okay for now, but I doubt that will last considering her health risks.

I'm trying (gently), to encourage healthier behaviors, but it's slow going.

Anyway, I'm so glad you're back here and working to get your health back! Our health is a gift. It's one I didn't value for the longest time. Now, I recognize it's the most precious thing I have.

[learn2cook 623]

@Dub it takes great courage and dedication to admit mistakes and do the work. I don’t even know you and I’m so proud of you!

It looks like you needed to include one thing, music, and once that was reestablished, you could keep the ball rolling. I agree. I pick one thing when the major sh!t happens. First feel, then breathe, or drink Water, or sing. I have to let it re-habit, then I can add more good choices once it’s a habit. You’ve got this!