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Should weight matter in a relationship?

Many people are depressed because they lose self-confidence and self-worth because of their weight, but should it be an issue, to the point where it causes the end of a relationship? Can't couples do something to make it work without one having to leave the other? That's just depressing.

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  • I met my husband when I was 22 but we did not start dating until I was 25. At that time, I weighed 125-130. He was a former model and absolutely gorgeous. We were wildly attracted to each other. W

  • sillykitty
    sillykitty

    BIG CONFESSION TIME I had a boyfriend of 7 years, who left me over my weight. When we got together I was probably around 170-180. When he left me I was about 230. We had no other major

  • sillykitty
    sillykitty

    Thanks Ash .... you're right on every point. What I tell myself is he had the absolute best of me for 7 years. And his embarrassment over my appearance mattered more to him than anything else.

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On 7/27/2018 at 10:32 PM, sillykitty said:

BIG CONFESSION TIME

I had a boyfriend of 7 years, who left me over my weight.

When we got together I was probably around 170-180. When he left me I was about 230.

We had no other major issues. We got along extremely well. We had only a few fights during our entire relationship. Despite my weight I was more physical active, and active in general (more social, traveled frequently), and also took a lot of pride in my appearance. He was slightly overweight when we met, gained some weight, and then lost weight to end up just very slightly overweight.

I noticed he started to not invite me to things with his family or friends. I didn't think too much about it. Holidays were off the table with him having 2 sets of kids, and me with my family, so we never did those together. Otherwise he was pretty much a homebody, so other social events for him were few and far between, made it easy to ignore. We both had demanding and social jobs, so staying in and me cooking was the norm. I barely noticed the decline in going out.

I knew from the beginning I wasn't his physical type. But I figured it wasn't a big deal, because we had a great sex life. There were things about him that weren't ideal, but all the good stuff made up for, I thought it was the same for him.

He began to get more distant. So we finally sat down and talked and he said he wanted to break up. He wouldn't give me an answer why really. I finally asked him if it was my weight. He was surprised I knew it was an issue for him. He told he was embarrassed to bring me around his family and friends or to be seen in public with me. He was still sexually attracted to me, but too embarrassed to be seen with me.

That was four years ago. I only told one person the real reason we broke up, and I did it when I was drunk, lol.

Give me his current address...

I'll fix this

When my husband and I met, we were working for the same company. Before we started dating, he had seen me lose around 30 pounds. I got down to about 150. He was 6'1", 145 pounds. When we started dating, he had said how impressed he was that I had lost the weight and how he hadn't "noticed" me before that. (Yeah, I knew how to interpret that one.) At that point, we had maybe been going out for a few weeks. I told him then that if my weight was a big deal to him, he needed to move along right now. I couldn't promise that I would never regain the weight. He decided to stay.

In the 29 years that we've been married, I've gained and lost hundreds of pounds. He has always been there for me, regardless. He's my biggest cheerleader now. I am blessed.

55 minutes ago, GreenTealael said:

Give me his current address...

I'll fix this

The absolute best revenge would be sending him pics of my current hotness (and future hotter-ness :P). That would hit him where it hurts. Because I know I was the best sex he'd ever had, and I doubt he's found better in the last 4 years :lol:

4 minutes ago, sillykitty said:

The absolute best revenge would be sending him pics of my current hotness (and future hotter-ness :P). That would hit him where it hurts. Because I know I was the best sex he'd ever had, and I doubt he's found better in the last 4 years :lol:

Oh well you're a better person then me I was going to "Help" him with chocolate pie...

My husband recently told me that he is starting to find me attractive again. I am almost to the weight I was when we married (11 lbs to go). I am sure there are other factors in here, but this is the one that I chose to hear during the conversation. Let's just say physical intimacy was down to nothing the past few years...

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