Drives me nuts to read over and over about people who don't think they're doing this process right......unless they're starving (I must have "head hunger" because I'm eating 400 calories a day and that should be enough right? Why am I exhausted and not feeling full?), pushing exercise to the limit, lamenting their lack of restriction, suffering for....well....suffering.

WTF?

Seriously? What gives with this?

You know, I started thinking about this today, and it occurred to me that people talk about over-eating feeling like comfort. A comfort habit. A way to sooth pain, cope with stress, Etc. Food=love, kindness.

Is there a psychological underpinning to this syndrome that Loving yourself=food and obesity and Hating yourself=thinness and heath?

Do we HAVE to suffer? Do we HAVE to hate ourselves to feel like we're doing a 180 from that naughty shameful indulgent eating? Must bad children be punished?

There is an authoritarian ickiness to this that completely weirds me out.....that I see over and over and over on weight loss support boards.

Where does self hatred and self punishment lead?

What happens when the punishment is over?

I can't help but think this is a psychological disaster waiting to happen....that ends in a return to comfort habits and a sense of personal failure.

The all or nothing thinking goes hand in hand. I MUST be 118 pounds at the end, or I have FAILED! I will punish myself to get to that magical number where the world is suddenly right.

Sometimes I feel like fat people are their own worst enemies.

Self love...self compassion...slow and steady modification of behaviors...win the race.

It took years and years for most of us to become morbidly obese. Why on earth do we think we're going to achieve perfect behavior changes in just a few months?

I'm not saying we don't need to work like hell. I'm not saying we don't need to recognize and correct the behaviors that are unhealthy and get us into trouble. But why do we have to be so damned cruel to ourselves? What is the advantage of that?

I'm just having one of those moments today where the extremes bother me. I don't want to be that way anymore. I don't want to be someone who eats with no sense of accountability or balance....but I don't want to be a food nazi, either. I want balance. I want self love. I want sanity and tolerance. I'm ok with imperfection. Have I screwed up? Yep. Dozens of times. OMG, you mean I'm human after all? Who knew? But as long as I stay committed...as long as I keep working on good habits, and wake up every day and try hard....it's enough. And so far, it's working out pretty good:)

Edited June 29, 20188 yr by Creekimp13

I needed to read this today. Thanks girl!

So. Much Truth.

I needed to hear this too! I'm on vacation right now and have been hating myself for eating a quarter of a roll at dinner last night. It's crazy when you really think about it. One quarter of a roll (hell, a whole roll) is not going to derail my weight loss or stretch my stomach. Before surgery I would have eaten 3 or 4, LOL.

But as a former sinner, Now under conviction, you only want to do whats right!?

Things to think about here. Thanks @Creekimp13.

There is a actual reason for this how many times have you seen adds for fad diets or the show the biggest loser or anything similar. It is because we have zero clue even from a medical standpoint what healthy should look like doctors are not actually trained in nutrition they simply aren’t and the people writing the nutritional guidelines or the American diabetes association the American heart association and the American cancer society are actually the food industry. So funny thing in America did you know there is no guideline on any label for sugar even though we know it’s the leading cause of obesity number one cause but every thing else has a value try it go look at any food label. We are having our nutrition guides paid for by Coca Cola and Kraft foods essentially now what do these companies sell sugar. Key thing meat you buy in the super market has sugar in it but local you can actually find a farm near you and buy a whole cow or pig or what have you for pennies on the dollar

Did you ever consider how often when we have tornados and hurricanes Anheuser Busch sends canned and bottled water. Might as well use all that expensive equipment for something community--based. Right??

@Creekimp13 bravo!You better not leave these forums,we need your unique insight.

That was bang on @Creekimp13!

Handcuffing myself from the kitchen does help sometimes.

On 28.7.2018 at 10:36 PM, George OG said:

@Creekimp13 bravo!You better not leave these forums,we need your unique insight.

Yeah, better not.

However, I can feel her frustration growing.

On 30.6.2018 at 1:04 AM, Frustr8 said:

But as a former sinner, Now under conviction, you only want to do whats right!?

Just like it was with all these diets and "lifestyle changes" we were on before WLS.

Agreed. ?????? especially to the whole “fat people are their own worst enemies piece”

Self love can also equal self care- its not mutually exclusive.

Authoritarianism and punishment seems to be the way people cope....who feel powerless.