The Food Demons Won't Leave Me Alone

[RSM 69]

OK, so this might be more of a rant than a "help me" posting. But the food demons hit me extra hard today, around lunch time to be exact, and they steered my Jeep to my favorite Chinese buffet. Yes I know, I fully realize and I really, really honestly do understand this is the worst thing I can do especially being 2 weeks out from my 2 week pre-op diet. I have to gain the mental fortitude and strength to simply say NO, and not let my mind steer me to the places of food evil. I am writing about this in my journal, but it isn't the same as when I post it. My journal doesn't give me feedback.

Now some of you will say I am simply not strong enough to have the surgery, and I am setting myself up for failure, disappointment and unnecessary heartache,,,, I understand that 100%, but my desire and need to have this surgery due to my weight combined with health issues is very strong. As I am still 2 weeks before my 2 week pre-op, I am asking for words of wisdom from experience only. Please don't go negative, if I want negative I will call my ex-wife.

I would like to keep it positive here and focus on the issue at hand. Has (I am sure there is) anyone experienced what I am going through? and maybe give me a hint what you did to overcome the challenge to be strong and do the right thing? Well, here we go,,,,,,,,,,,

Edited August 29, 2017 by RSM

[daats 6]

You are not alone. The entire two weeks before my surgery, while trying desperately to stay on the pre-op diet set for me by my surgeon, I had a little voice in my head that kept saying, "You know, this could be your last chance to ever have ? Surely just one won't hurt." I managed to ignore that voice about 50% of the time. By the time I got to my surgery date I felt like hell. I was angry with myself and thought for sure they were just going to send me straight back home for being a weak willed moron. It's now almost 14 months later and I've lost almost 150lbs, am 25lbs from goal, and have never been happier in my whole life.


Let's face it, most of us got to the point of needing surgery because we lacked the self-control necessary to do it on our own and needed help. Don't beat yourself up. Be aware of the feelings you're having right now. Try your best to do what you need to do to get where you want to go, but recognise that it's hard and none of us are perfect. If you slip, pick yourself back up, dust yourself off, and keep moving forward. Good luck on your journey.

[RSM 69]

31 minutes ago, daats said:

You are not alone. The entire two weeks before my surgery, while trying desperately to stay on the pre-op diet set for me by my surgeon, I had a little voice in my head that kept saying, "You know, this could be your last chance to ever have ? Surely just one won't hurt." I managed to ignore that voice about 50% of the time. By the time I got to my surgery date I felt like hell. I was angry with myself and thought for sure they were just going to send me straight back home for being a weak willed moron. It's now almost 14 months later and I've lost almost 150lbs, am 25lbs from goal, and have never been happier in my whole life.


Let's face it, most of us got to the point of needing surgery because we lacked the self-control necessary to do it on our own and needed help. Don't beat yourself up. Be aware of the feelings you're having right now. Try your best to do what you need to do to get where you want to go, but recognise that it's hard and none of us are perfect. If you slip, pick yourself back up, dust yourself off, and keep moving forward. Good luck on your journey.

You know?, It's funny, that if I put the shoe on the other foot I probably would have said what you did to me to someone else. Funny how we don't think right about our feelings sometimes, but if we stop and think to make sense of our feelings, then they can make sense. Thanks for your words, they do help, a lot.

Edited August 29, 2017 by RSM

[nomorefattypatty 329]

I am no one to judge because I would have gone to the buffet also because after the surgery you won't want a buffet for awhile. I tried to introduce regular foods even two months out and I've gone back to Protein Shakes for two meals a day because regular foods we're not working for me too well. I wanted to hit the casino for their crab legs buffet thinking I'm never going to want to spend that kind of money because I won't be able to eat like I used to. But with that being said I'm planning on buying lobster tails and I know I'll have leftovers because I know I can't eat like I used to. That's ok though I started this at 238 lbs, I had my procedure gastric sleeve at 209 current weight is 180, total weight loss total is 71 lbs to date. I can walk up to four miles in one workout and not want to die or call for a ride home so I'm happy with myself now but I'd like to lose another 60 lbs to be at my goal weight of about 120 or 110, see how I feel when I get a there.

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[suzannebryant22 3]

This was a great post to find! I seem to be having food funerals this week and my 2 week pre-op diet starts next week.
I don't really get it. I think I've watched too many videos and heard to many "you will never have this again" and just want to have it one more time! I know I'll have some of the food again some day just not as much and not for a good while. It strikes me odd how hard it is and how emotional it can be lol stay strong!!

[Mhy12784 423]

i think the trick is finding a balance and healthy substitutions. I mean if you REALLY REALLY want Chinese food then torturing yourself isnt going to make quality of life the greatest. But instead find something relatively healthy (or less unhealthy) on the menu and keep the portions from being completely insane. Then just balance it out by making sure you stick to your plan at least the next couple of days.

Eating crap a few times a week isnt ideal, but once in a while is ok. And regardless of which you do, the key to success is balancing it out over the long haul. If you eat crap from a restaurant monday, but eat well tuesday-friday well thats not so bad.

[Geri Marie 235]

I had such a bad food day yesterday and today. Thank you for the post! Time for a three day all liquid diet starting tomorrow ! That's what we're here for is to support each other

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[Sosewsue61 3,185]

Humans are designed to survive and if we have talked ourselves into thinking we are never going to have certain food again then that is the very thing we start craving. This is not unique to fat people, my husband is not fat but if he knows there is only a third of a container of ice cream left in the freezer you better get out of his way!! LOL

Forgive yourself because that self persecution will only make you struggle with your self worth and not help you make the choices you need to make. We are all a work in progress all of our lives. And consuming food creates a chemical response, an emotional response, and a physical response, especially carbohydrates but hey I can salivate over steak or fish too!!!

I have been trying to reduce my exposure to the really tempting items, places, events but don't always succeed. One trick I have recently employed is to let everyone else go to the buffet and I sit and watch and think and wait awhile - I look at the physical condition of everyone near me eating. Is that person as fat as me - and what are they eating? Is there a slender person here and what are they eating - I wonder if that is the 1st or only plate of food they are getting? What is absolutely the best tasting item here? Is that what I want right now? This isn't easy and I don't have all the answers, I still decide to do the wrong thing sometimes, but I hope to improve at this.

[nomorefattypatty 329]

The more time you spend looking at what others are doing wrong the less time you have to focus on your own eating habits Portion Control and proper healthy choices will get you where you want to be. Looking at others to find their fault is why we didn't see our own faults, and how we got here in the first place. We are taught how to eat and what to avoid by our nutritionist and just need to follow instructions and we will lose weight. Maybe stay away from buffets to start with. I haven't been in a fast food restaurant in a long time, I drink more Water and I stay aware of the amount of carbs I eat also all without looking around to see if someone is as fat as me. Just practice what you learned and everything will fall into place. I also suggest the Big Book on Gastric Sleeve, or on whatever surgery you had it's very helpful. You can get it on Bariatric pal.com

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[Walter.Sobchak 978]

OK, so this might be more of a rant than a "help me" posting. But the food demons hit me extra hard today, around lunch time to be exact, and they steered my Jeep to my favorite Chinese buffet. Yes I know, I fully realize and I really, really honestly do understand this is the worst thing I can do especially being 2 weeks out from my 2 week pre-op diet. I have to gain the mental fortitude and strength to simply say NO, and not let my mind steer me to the places of food evil. I am writing about this in my journal, but it isn't the same as when I post it. My journal doesn't give me feedback.
Now some of you will say I am simply not strong enough to have the surgery, and I am setting myself up for failure, disappointment and unnecessary heartache,,,, I understand that 100%, but my desire and need to have this surgery due to my weight combined with health issues is very strong. As I am still 2 weeks before my 2 week pre-op, I am asking for words of wisdom from experience only. Please don't go negative, if I want negative I will call my ex-wife.
I would like to keep it positive here and focus on the issue at hand. Has (I am sure there is) anyone experienced what I am going through? and maybe give me a hint what you did to overcome the challenge to be strong and do the right thing? Well, here we go,,,,,,,,,,,

I was in the exact same position.
My surgery is tomorrow morning, I had to do 3 weeks of liver shrink diet.
I kept telling myself to go to my favorite Chinese buffet as well.
I simply had to resist.
I had to remind myself that I have eaten at Chinese buffets for the better part of 25 years, do I really need one last visit?
I simply had to stay strong.
I have eaten enough Chinese buffets and pizza and fast food to last a life time, I do not need one last go round before surgery.
Hope this helps.

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[Callisto 79]

My surgery is three weeks away and I am right there with you - all of a sudden starting about ohhhhh about yesterday. I don't have a pre-op diet yet cause I am really close to my BMI so they think they are only going to have me a pre-op diet a few days before. Anyway, up until yesterday i have been feeling pretty much blah about food, almost like I am ready to just give it up maybe cause I am tired of feeling like a mini-Macy's Day parade float. But suddenly it all hit me just like you described - you are not alone.

This whole process probably is not as black and white as we think. One day we may actually be able to eat pizza and chinese again in small quantities (not all you can eat) but for now...happy food funeraling. We got this.

[jaminator 262]

Its important to remember that you are going to have triumphs and defeats before AND after surgery. Its probably not realistic to think you wont ever give in to temptation and eat something they tell you that you arent supposed to. You have to live your life...If you give in, then focus on doing it right the next day.

[RSM 69]

Thanks man, I really appreciate the words. I have gained a new friend and the cool part is we have our surgery's one week apart, are going to the same Dr. and of course live basically in the same town. We met on this website, and she just started her 2 week pre-op today and mine next week. So we are staying in touch and riding this journey together. It helps to have a sleeve buddy as we all are too.

[Starsmore 60]

I can definitely understand where you're coming from. I just started this whole journey (I had my first surgeon consult on Monday) and I want to sit on my couch and eat everything tasty (crackers, Cookies, chips), but I have a [manageable] weight loss goal to meet and I want to start forming those good habits, so when I grocery shop Friday, I'm going to fight all those urges to bring empty foods home.

You've got this.

[Lovergurl 59]

My surgery is in a month. I started preparing a month ago. I have not cheated once. I had a last splurge the weekend before I started preparing for surgery. I honestly made myself miserable because of eating so much crap. The thought that kept going through my mind - was the food really that important? Did it really fix anything for me? The answer is no. I'm sick of food having a hold of me. I'm done. My other issue is the fear of complications from surgery. I want to have the best chance I can of a zero issue surgery. So given your situation where you wanted "Chinese", I would have had like teriyaki chicken with steamed vegetables. Or Mexican, have chicken fajita with the peppers and onions and salsa and skip the Beans and rice. That's my new attitude. I'm still getting food I enjoy minus a couple items. And the high Protein has stopped my cravings. Hang in there. Ask why you are doing this and is it really worth it.