Well, it's a start alright... the finish has yet to come. But I'll document my sleeve story here in the hopes that it'll help others.
Surgery to lose weight? Peh!! That's for weaklings... I would never mutilate my body.... why take the easy way out... in short, wls was a remote concept to me. Honestly, it just never was on my radar, that's all.
But like many here I struggled.. and it was a constant battle in the back of my head. I've been everywhere on the spectrum from "a real woman has curves, damn it" to " this is a social construct; it's todays world that makes me feel bad about who I am... I mean look at norms from 50-60 years ago" to "I don't have to be thin/normal/etc, I have brains to prove myself... I will never be one to rely on how I look to get ahead".... you name it, I've probably been there.
I'm going on 40... years of this... and dieting... and gaining... and dieting... and checking out the newest fad... and shopping based on what fits... not what I like.... years of focusing on the 'content' vs the 'packaging', coupled with a very low idea of self-worth rooted in childhood... well, for one reason or the other we all end up in the same spot.
Last summer my family and I were at the beach; There I am, sitting at the beach and I just can't stop judging people. Nevermind the fact that I lost 20 pounds and gained 19,5 back... So technically I have still lost weight compared to same time last year; I am just sitting here, in the shade and I can't stop myself from passing judgment on everybody... Bad posture, wrong choice of bathing suit... Omg!! What was she thinking?!?!? I would kill to have the body of most of the women who unknowingly are subject to my internal rantings but there you have it. And then I caught myself... sort of saw myself from a different perspective. Is this really who I want to be? This constantly bitter, unhappy person who blames everyone and everything but neglects to take responsibility? And it was there the first seeds of change had been sewn. Althought wls was still a long ways off from being even an idea.
I came to the US 20 years ago... It's not easy being the 'outsider', less so when you're a parent. At times it feels like everybody knows each other; even worse everybody likes each other... everybody but you. And this even though we all started being soccer moms and dads at the same time. Granted, sometimes you'll have your neighbors who know each other and naturally gravitate toward each other... or those parents whose kids are besties in school and who automatically click.
Some days a parent will say hi... good morning... how're ya doing? And those days are good days because for the next 60 minutes of a game you re-live that moment when you were part of the in-crowd. On other days your good morning will be ignored.. sometimes on purpose. And those days you put on a brave face for your kids because no kid likes their parents to be the outsider. Some days it gets so bad, so lonely, that I feel like exploding... i feel like asking "guys... what is it? Is it because i'm fat? Wear glasses? Have an accent? All of the above? I see these posts for parents with tips on how to deal with socially awkward teenagers... or how to boost their kids' confidence and I gulp them up looking for a glimpse on what it could be I'm doing wrong. It is a sad state of affairs when you're diving into teen advise columns but you're almost 40.
I have two amazing kids... and I know how easily effected kids are by how they view their parents. All parents are an embarassment to their kids in one way or another but what all of this led to, what I realized was that unless I accept myself, unless I am OK with myself and unless I respect and love myself I couldn't possibly expect others to show me the same. And this sense of personal responsibility was the second seed toward change. You see, as much as it seems from the above that I am doing this so that others will love me, I have come to realize that I am doing this for me... and only me.
Then, in January my husband's friend comes to visit.. and I don't recognize him... seriously, different human being. I felt like on candid camera where they do a switcheroo, you know? And he tells me about how he got sleeved... and he is patient with me and talks to me, explains, shows, guides me and before I know it I know that this is what I want. I just do, it makes sense, it all clicks, falls into place... damn in, I want it and I want it now!!!
I talk to 3 different surgeons even though I have to pay for consults... one can't even be bothered to look me in the eyes... he's Mr super busy and important... you know, like a factory assembly line, you're just a number, not a human being. The second is nice...patient, knowledgeable but his staff is not well organized. Then I went to see my friend's surgeon. Staff and surgeon... good call; I clicked and knew I had found my surgeon. Of course I did my research, I read reviews, reached out to people but first impressions are so important.
My insurance requires 6 months of documented visits. I was ready to have the surgery; I was excited; I didn't want to wait.. I even considered doing this out of pocket but thankfully cooler heads prevailed. I still think 6 months is too long but I'm halfway there.
I am hopeful to have a surgery date in september for my sleeve.
I still do my homework, I day-dream and I make lists, I fantasize about shopping sprees (which will be fun now, not torture... right guys?) but I'm not in laland in terms of expectation. I think I have a pretty solid grasp on the difficulties ahead. I'm going to therapy to prepare mentally.

I have an incredibly supportive husband who's been with me through thick (and will be with me through thin!!)

And with your support I know I can do this.

Updates will follow!

I had the same feeling about losing all the weight before I even came home lol. My surgery was 9/26 and I can tell you I feel like a supermodel. My body hasn't quite caught up but it's just a matter of time! Good luck with your surgery. I hope everything goes smoothly for you!

I had the same feeling about losing all the weight before I even came home lol. My surgery was 9/26 and I can tell you I feel like a supermodel. My body hasn't quite caught up but it's just a matter of time! Good luck with your surgery. I hope everything goes smoothly for you!

I love it..!! exactly how I feel!
How’re you feeling now, almost 2 weeks out?

I feel great! The first few days were rough, but it got better very quickly. It's hard to get enough water and protein in so I get a little weak sometimes but I am shocked at how good I feel in regards to the surgery part of it. Incisions are healed, no pain in days! I would do it again a hundred times. I am 21 pounds down 5'8 SW 267 GW 160 CW 244.6

I feel great! The first few days were rough, but it got better very quickly. It's hard to get enough water and protein in so I get a little weak sometimes but I am shocked at how good I feel in regards to the surgery part of it. Incisions are healed, no pain in days! I would do it again a hundred times. I am 21 pounds down 5'8 SW 267 GW 160 CW 244.6

Already? Wow... that’s great, not just the loss but that you’re feeling good too of course. You should be proud of yourself!

I'm 4 mos post-op & almost 75 lbs down. Do yourselves a favor & make an egg Sunnyside up: it's the size of our stomachs post-sleeve. With this visual, I found I have full understanding of exactly why we must take small bites, chew madly & swallow, breath & rest, and then take the next bite, etc. Our joy comes from the certainty that although our journeys are all different, we will lose significant weight having taken the steps to be healthy. I feel humble, happy & healthy as I continue to follow the protocols my surgeon & nutrionist post-op. Hope you all feel the same way, so continue to be excited & take great care of yourselves.

Good evening everyone! I just has my sleeve surgery 9/18/17. I started the process in 11/2016 but my insurance required me to have 3 monthly visits with my PCP and have my weight documented at each visit. I also was required to have a psychological exam, some how I passed it ! LOL and a visit with nutritionist. I had a delay after I fell and broke my 5th MT and in the midst of all that I moved. I was having trouble with my knees also prior to surgery.

I have to say that my surgery and hospitalization went pretty good. One thing I've noticed is that I haven't had any knee pain since surgery so definitely a bonus!

If I can just make it through these food stages! I just had my 2 week post op visit and am now on pureed foods. I can't believe I was actually eagerly looking forward to eating pureed foods. I am not really hungry so have to keep reminding myself to eat an drink protein. Biggest problem has been forgetting to sip and taking to much liquid in which cause esophageal spasm.

I've never wrote or contributed to any group forums such as this before but will be reading and possibly posting again.

I wish everyone the best as we continue our journey to better health an smaller clothes!

I'm 4 mos post-op & almost 75 lbs down. Do yourselves a favor & make an egg Sunnyside up: it's the size of our stomachs post-sleeve. With this visual, I found I have full understanding of exactly why we must take small bites, chew madly & swallow, breath & rest, and then take the next bite, etc. Our joy comes from the certainty that although our journeys are all different, we will lose significant weight having taken the steps to be healthy. I feel humble, happy & healthy as I continue to follow the protocols my surgeon & nutrionist post-op. Hope you all feel the same way, so continue to be excited & take great care of yourselves.

This is awesome, thanks. The visual will help; I’ve been trying to prep but the size thing just doesn’t seem to register. I think it must be one of thos “gotta live through it” type things

Good evening everyone! I just has my sleeve surgery 9/18/17. I started the process in 11/2016 but my insurance required me to have 3 monthly visits with my PCP and have my weight documented at each visit. I also was required to have a psychological exam, some how I passed it ! LOL [emoji14] and a visit with nutritionist. I had a delay after I fell and broke my 5th MT and in the midst of all that I moved. I was having trouble with my knees also prior to surgery.
I have to say that my surgery and hospitalization went pretty good. One thing I've noticed is that I haven't had any knee pain since surgery so definitely a bonus!
If I can just make it through these food stages! I just had my 2 week post op visit and am now on pureed foods. I can't believe I was actually eagerly looking forward to eating pureed foods. I am not really hungry so have to keep reminding myself to eat an drink protein. Biggest problem has been forgetting to sip and taking to much liquid in which cause esophageal spasm.
I've never wrote or contributed to any group forums such as this before but will be reading and possibly posting again.
I wish everyone the best as we continue our journey to better health an smaller clothes!

Hey, congratulations! You seem to be doing fine! Are you using an app or a reminder tool to remind you to eat or drink?

Good morning everybody, it is update time!

I was sleeved 10/10 and while this is a statement in an of itself clearly a lot gets lost in it.

First of all, in all the time that I was on this forum, reading and researching, I seem to have disassociated myself from reality. You know, the fact that you actually have to get a surgery done to get over to the loser’s side. It’s not like reading a book and identifying with the heroine.

So it felt a little surreal when I woke up (which also is a lie, I barely slept!) on tuesday morning at around 4 and took a shower before I headed for the hospital. My husband stayed behind to take care of the kids so it was a lonely drive out there in darkness and while I at least had my music with me it all felt very ominous!

So I checked in at the hospital, and went to the pre-op suite. The nurses were all very nice and helpful, my surgeon checked in with me for last minute questions and concerns and the last thing I remember is the nice anesthesiologist saying he would just give me one or two injections to prep me for general anesthesiology. This was all done in the pre-op area so I never got to see the operating room.

I woke up some time later in my room, my husband by my side and in agony. As much as I read about this ahead of time it seems like my expectations were definitely favoring the painless experience some people seem to go through but nooooo!

I was in pain that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. I don’t really remember the details of that day, I was in and out of it but I remember general bouts of overall crappiness, horrible gas pain that seems to have been stuck in one part of my chest, my husband rubbing and trying to get me to burp on and off. I’m not sure how I would have done had he not been there for me. I think he may have tired more, physically speaking, trying to hold me upright, getting me to walk and just being up and about taking care of me than I. So while I was fully expectig to be outpatient and going home that day that clearly didn’t happen. My poor roommate had to ask for a change in room because I wasn’t letting her get any rest.

I’m not normally a cry baby but man!

Anyway, there were other bariatric patients on my floor, none of whom seemed to be in the same boat as me; or they just had better tolerance levels, I don’t know. Either way, there I was, bawling my eyes out when I walked but walked I did. And everytime I walked it was worse than before because the gas would shift and break up and move around and I would feel like crap again.

One thing I’ll say though; I was grateful for having brought my own slippers. They came in very handy.

The second day was what I had expected my first day to be like; overall crappiness but at least I was able to let go of my husband and he was able to go home and get some rest. Walking was key, really. Walk walk walk.... i sipped some water... didn’t reall touch any of the “food” they brought in but was in and out a lot again. Dilaudid didn’t do anything for me but tylenol, the chewable they gave me for heartburn and the benadryl as a sleep aid got me through it.

While I could have gone home on the first day I opted to stay the second night as well and the doctors agreed with me for which I am grateful.

I was discharged with a much sunnier, albeit still not 100% disposition the next day.

So now we’re up to 10/12. The ride home was fine, as long as I walked and got some more gas out the pain was manageable. I took a couple of tylenol as well as back to my regular vitamin + prilosec otc regimen.

I set myself a timer for 15 mins on repeat and literally got up everytime, walked to the kitchen and sipped some water.

There was a lot of “popping” in my esophagus last night which prevented me from sleeping but I think I have the measure of it today.

So, all in all, 3 days out and today is a good day!

Thank you for three post op update! Sorry it was more painful than you had anticipated. Good luck in the coming weeks/months ahead. My surgery is Nov 1. I'm very excited for that day to come.

Sent from my XT1635-01 using BariatricPal mobile app

Yay the worst is over and the best is now beginning. Glad all turned out well after the rough start. I hope to join you on the losing side in November.

Thank you for three post op update! Sorry it was more painful than you had anticipated. Good luck in the coming weeks/months ahead. My surgery is Nov 1. I'm very excited for that day to come.

Sent from my XT1635-01 using BariatricPal mobile app

Almost there! You’ll be fine and feel free to ask if you have questions. Good luck!

Yay the worst is over and the best is now beginning. Glad all turned out well after the rough start. I hope to join you on the losing side in November.

Yes! I have my 1 week post op check today and already things are looking up! Good luck to you and feel free to reach out if you have any questions.

I love this thread, I'm so sorry you had pain. How are you going now?

I love this thread, I'm so sorry you had pain. How are you going now?

Thanks!!

Oh, I’m loads better.. so much better in fact that I have been experimenting with my intake. I’m one of those who are worried they can eat too much too soon but except for one or two minor offenses I’m sticking to the prescribed program. It’s all about changing your mindset after all.

16 lb down since surgery... but I mean, who’s counting. Right?? [emoji12][emoji12][emoji12]