Well, it's a start alright... the finish has yet to come. But I'll document my sleeve story here in the hopes that it'll help others.
Surgery to lose weight? Peh!! That's for weaklings... I would never mutilate my body.... why take the easy way out... in short, wls was a remote concept to me. Honestly, it just never was on my radar, that's all.
But like many here I struggled.. and it was a constant battle in the back of my head. I've been everywhere on the spectrum from "a real woman has curves, damn it" to " this is a social construct; it's todays world that makes me feel bad about who I am... I mean look at norms from 50-60 years ago" to "I don't have to be thin/normal/etc, I have brains to prove myself... I will never be one to rely on how I look to get ahead".... you name it, I've probably been there.
I'm going on 40... years of this... and dieting... and gaining... and dieting... and checking out the newest fad... and shopping based on what fits... not what I like.... years of focusing on the 'content' vs the 'packaging', coupled with a very low idea of self-worth rooted in childhood... well, for one reason or the other we all end up in the same spot.
Last summer my family and I were at the beach; There I am, sitting at the beach and I just can't stop judging people. Nevermind the fact that I lost 20 pounds and gained 19,5 back... So technically I have still lost weight compared to same time last year; I am just sitting here, in the shade and I can't stop myself from passing judgment on everybody... Bad posture, wrong choice of bathing suit... Omg!! What was she thinking?!?!? I would kill to have the body of most of the women who unknowingly are subject to my internal rantings but there you have it. And then I caught myself... sort of saw myself from a different perspective. Is this really who I want to be? This constantly bitter, unhappy person who blames everyone and everything but neglects to take responsibility? And it was there the first seeds of change had been sewn. Althought wls was still a long ways off from being even an idea.
I came to the US 20 years ago... It's not easy being the 'outsider', less so when you're a parent. At times it feels like everybody knows each other; even worse everybody likes each other... everybody but you. And this even though we all started being soccer moms and dads at the same time. Granted, sometimes you'll have your neighbors who know each other and naturally gravitate toward each other... or those parents whose kids are besties in school and who automatically click.
Some days a parent will say hi... good morning... how're ya doing? And those days are good days because for the next 60 minutes of a game you re-live that moment when you were part of the in-crowd. On other days your good morning will be ignored.. sometimes on purpose. And those days you put on a brave face for your kids because no kid likes their parents to be the outsider. Some days it gets so bad, so lonely, that I feel like exploding... i feel like asking "guys... what is it? Is it because i'm fat? Wear glasses? Have an accent? All of the above? I see these posts for parents with tips on how to deal with socially awkward teenagers... or how to boost their kids' confidence and I gulp them up looking for a glimpse on what it could be I'm doing wrong. It is a sad state of affairs when you're diving into teen advise columns but you're almost 40.
I have two amazing kids... and I know how easily effected kids are by how they view their parents. All parents are an embarassment to their kids in one way or another but what all of this led to, what I realized was that unless I accept myself, unless I am OK with myself and unless I respect and love myself I couldn't possibly expect others to show me the same. And this sense of personal responsibility was the second seed toward change. You see, as much as it seems from the above that I am doing this so that others will love me, I have come to realize that I am doing this for me... and only me.
Then, in January my husband's friend comes to visit.. and I don't recognize him... seriously, different human being. I felt like on candid camera where they do a switcheroo, you know? And he tells me about how he got sleeved... and he is patient with me and talks to me, explains, shows, guides me and before I know it I know that this is what I want. I just do, it makes sense, it all clicks, falls into place... damn in, I want it and I want it now!!!
I talk to 3 different surgeons even though I have to pay for consults... one can't even be bothered to look me in the eyes... he's Mr super busy and important... you know, like a factory assembly line, you're just a number, not a human being. The second is nice...patient, knowledgeable but his staff is not well organized. Then I went to see my friend's surgeon. Staff and surgeon... good call; I clicked and knew I had found my surgeon. Of course I did my research, I read reviews, reached out to people but first impressions are so important.
My insurance requires 6 months of documented visits. I was ready to have the surgery; I was excited; I didn't want to wait.. I even considered doing this out of pocket but thankfully cooler heads prevailed. I still think 6 months is too long but I'm halfway there.
I am hopeful to have a surgery date in september for my sleeve.
I still do my homework, I day-dream and I make lists, I fantasize about shopping sprees (which will be fun now, not torture... right guys?) but I'm not in laland in terms of expectation. I think I have a pretty solid grasp on the difficulties ahead. I'm going to therapy to prepare mentally.

I have an incredibly supportive husband who's been with me through thick (and will be with me through thin!!)

And with your support I know I can do this.

Updates will follow!

2 hours ago, Freija said:

Im checking in again...

I'm currently in Illinois but I've been all over the place from Michigan to Texas.

I just had my upper GI. Turns out I have a hiatal hernia. That's one test down anyway, I'm on my way to the lab for bloodwork then I have an appt. With the NUT this afternoon. Have you had any tests done yet?

Sent from my SM-G950U using BariatricPal mobile app

Upper GI.. hmm I don't have that on my list. I'm scheduled for an endoscopy next month and I've had the at-home sleep test.. other than that I have appointments with NUT every month when I go in to get weighed. I had to get the psych eval done too as well as an on the record session with a NUT (which is in addition to what I get monthly) but I think the only other thing left will be the bloodwork and the pre-op class at my surgeon's so we'll see.

Sorry to hear about your hernia; maybe they can fix that while they're at it?

2 hours ago, Smores said:

I'm waiting for my doctor to call me to set the date. I'm praying for July 12th. I work at a school and this would give me time to recover and get used to my new life. I've gone through all my testing, meetings and have been approved by my insurance for a few weeks now. I can't really say it's been a long journey, but it seems like it. I pray that everything goes well for you. Keep us posted.

Hey, good luck! Though I'm puzzled as to why you would be waiting for as long as you seem to have.. A few weeks since insurance has approved you and you're still waiting? Maybe you should call them and ask about this delay?

My hiatal hernia was repaired when I was sleeved, 5/24/17. What a relief it is to not have GERD/Acid Reflux or to need Rx's for these, as well as high blood pressure, diabetes & high cholesterol. I called my surgeon's office for cancellations & was able to get in two mos earlier for my surgery, which was great. Pain, stomach spasms & nausea were the greatest things to overcome just after surgery: I was up and walking the day of surgery & have kept that up. Ice chips help you right after surgery & then a little bit afterwards I had NS/No Gluten Lemon ices, popsicles & broths, which really helped me feel better. The morning after surgery, I had all these plus my 1st NS Shake & drank H20. My 1 mo post-op on the 23rd showed I'd lost just a bit over 21 lbs. I measure my NS drinks w plastic glasses they gave me at the hsp & have just been able to tolerate H20 by itself this week: for some reason H20 is harder on the stomach I've discovered for many of us post-op. I teach H20 aerobics during the summer mos & have added treadmill & recumbent bike to my exercise plan, all approved & I can begin adding in yoga & Pilates Reformer at about 6 wks. I do nothing w/o the approval of my surgeon & although my next appt. is in Aug, if anything comes up, I can discuss it w them in anyone of the 3 post-op seminars they offer we patients or ask directly. I can eat a scrambled egg, but that's about all. Tried fruit in my shakes, but boy that ran right through me, as did NF cream soups. I don't know if this is a fact that my gallbladder was removed in late 2012, but I'll retry re-introducing these things slowly 1 at a time at about my 8 wks post-op. Whatever you do, be proud of yourself & what you've accomplished to bring you to this decision, which will change your life in the best possible way. The only opinions that matter are your surgeon's & yourself, but having forums to discover what lies ahead on your journey has been a Godsend for me. I researched for over 2.5 yrs before I made the decision to move forward & I'm glad bc I found the perfect surgeon & weightloss medical group after mtg w two others for myself; yet, on the otherhand, I wonder "Why didn't I do this for myself earlier?" My answer is "all things happen in perfect timing during our life" so I don't beat myself up & now feel very happy w myself/my journey. Good luck everyone on your own journeys.

18 hours ago, MTL said:

My hiatal hernia was repaired when I was sleeved, 5/24/17. What a relief it is to not have GERD/Acid Reflux or to need Rx's for these, as well as high blood pressure, diabetes & high cholesterol. I called my surgeon's office for cancellations & was able to get in two mos earlier for my surgery, which was great. Pain, stomach spasms & nausea were the greatest things to overcome just after surgery: I was up and walking the day of surgery & have kept that up. Ice chips help you right after surgery & then a little bit afterwards I had NS/No Gluten Lemon ices, popsicles & broths, which really helped me feel better. The morning after surgery, I had all these plus my 1st NS shake & drank H20. My 1 mo post-op on the 23rd showed I'd lost just a bit over 21 lbs. I measure my NS drinks w plastic glasses they gave me at the hsp & have just been able to tolerate H20 by itself this week: for some reason H20 is harder on the stomach I've discovered for many of us post-op. I teach H20 aerobics during the summer mos & have added treadmill & recumbent bike to my exercise plan, all approved & I can begin adding in yoga & Pilates Reformer at about 6 wks. I do nothing w/o the approval of my surgeon & although my next appt. is in Aug, if anything comes up, I can discuss it w them in anyone of the 3 post-op seminars they offer we patients or ask directly. I can eat a scrambled egg, but that's about all. Tried fruit in my shakes, but boy that ran right through me, as did NF cream Soups. I don't know if this is a fact that my gallbladder was removed in late 2012, but I'll retry re-introducing these things slowly 1 at a time at about my 8 wks post-op. Whatever you do, be proud of yourself & what you've accomplished to bring you to this decision, which will change your life in the best possible way. The only opinions that matter are your surgeon's & yourself, but having forums to discover what lies ahead on your journey has been a Godsend for me. I researched for over 2.5 yrs before I made the decision to move forward & I'm glad bc I found the perfect surgeon & weightloss medical group after mtg w two others for myself; yet, on the otherhand, I wonder "Why didn't I do this for myself earlier?" My answer is "all things happen in perfect timing during our life" so I don't beat myself up & now feel very happy w myself/my journey. Good luck everyone on your own journeys.

Good advice, thank you. I guess everybody's varies just a little but but like you said reading these forums is excellent in preparation so thanks for sharing

!

Hello folks.... so I've been thinking about how some of the things discussed here are rather relative. I haven't really thought it through but what got me thinking was this one post (can't remember which one but it was one from years ago!) and the poster was my height and considerably more overweight when she got started. She was celebrating having come down to my current weight and was listing her current NSV as well. That got me thinking... so we are the same height and at that point in time the same weight and this was a big success for this poster and that was great... I mean I was genuinely happy for her as it had clearly been a while since she was that weight. But then I started thinking about how her [emoji106] was my [emoji107]... so I started wondering how much of this was perception.


H 5'6" HW 253, CW 245, TBS 9/19

I love your posts! I am scheduled for VSG on September 19th as well!

I love your posts! I am scheduled for VSG on September 19th as well!

Yay!!! Let's buddy up where, when, who... tell me everything


H 5'6" HW 253, CW 245, TBS 9/19

Hey Njgal I'm in New Jersey too! My insurance made me wait 6 months. It was very frustrating, but in the end I think it was a good thing. I only lost 3 or 4 pounds in the 6 months but I thought a lot about my habits and relationship with food.

I was sleeved 6/21 with Dr. Goyal at NJ Bariatrics in Springfield NJ (they have an office in Somerset too.) he is fabulous as is the whole office.

I was at Overlook hospital and stayed an additional night because I couldn't drink the 20 oz I needed to be discharged. The first few days were very tough but getting on the scale at day 6 and seeing I had lost 14 pounds was just incredible! And so motivating!

I'm on stage 2 now- eating soft foods. After 2 weeks of shakes this is a god send lol

Where in NJ are you? Who is you doc?

H 5'6 HW 299, CW 277 VGS 6/21

I have done my thinking and thought I was prepared. My appts have been done for the past 6 months which i think were definitely worth the wait. I eat and think totally different. I thought I was good before but jumping into something so quick would not have been good for anyone of us. I am preparing myself. i just have to get the endoscopy and chest xray and I will get my date. I do try my best to get protein in all the time and try to stay low card for the most part. I am down 27lbs since i started nearly 300lbs. My worst nightmare was to go over 300. I am a mom of 3 and i just turned 40. I do not want my kids to be embarrassed of me being over weight although they have never ever felt that way that i know of. they kind of brag about me to their friends for the most part. We are all pretty unhealthy in my house. I am trying to show them all what good nutrion and health look like. I have hit a plateau for the past 3 months and started exercising. still have not lost a thing. weight is still 270lbs. Body is changing a little as far as gaining strength and flexibility so i am greatful for that. I look forward to getting my sleeve dispite what my family is saying. my parents ans sibilings are against surgery for weightloss. Bad knees and diabetes run in my family. All the woman in my family for the past 3 generations are all 300lbs or more. I dont want to be like them! I watch my aunt struggle everyday with bad knees. I watch my sister take diabetes medicine. oh i also have Hypo thyroid disease so I think this may play a part in my weightloss but how does that work with Surgery???

Hey Njgal I'm in New Jersey too! My insurance made me wait 6 months. It was very frustrating, but in the end I think it was a good thing. I only lost 3 or 4 pounds in the 6 months but I thought a lot about my habits and relationship with food.

I was sleeved 6/21 with Dr. Goyal at NJ Bariatrics in Springfield NJ (they have an office in Somerset too.) he is fabulous as is the whole office.

I was at Overlook hospital and stayed an additional night because I couldn't drink the 20 oz I needed to be discharged. The first few days were very tough but getting on the scale at day 6 and seeing I had lost 14 pounds was just incredible! And so motivating!

I'm on stage 2 now- eating soft foods. After 2 weeks of shakes this is a god send lol

Where in NJ are you? Who is you doc?

H 5'6 HW 299, CW 277 VGS 6/21

Hi there... I am totally starting to agree with the waiting period. Like you said, it helps though I certainly haven't gotten into any sort of prep mode yet.. losing weight or otherwise:) but does it have to be 6 months? [emoji12]

I bet 14 lbs in 6 days was motivating!! Can't wait to see my own numbers drop of course but hearing your success is great, congratulations.

I'm in Nutley and am scheduled with Dr Bertha in Morristown... who I think also has an office in Somerset.

Did you have to do the liquid diet for long pre-op?


H 5'6" HW 253, CW 245, TBS 9/19

I have done my thinking and thought I was prepared. My appts have been done for the past 6 months which i think were definitely worth the wait. I eat and think totally different. I thought I was good before but jumping into something so quick would not have been good for anyone of us. I am preparing myself. i just have to get the endoscopy and chest xray and I will get my date. I do try my best to get protein in all the time and try to stay low card for the most part. I am down 27lbs since i started nearly 300lbs. My worst nightmare was to go over 300. I am a mom of 3 and i just turned 40. I do not want my kids to be embarrassed of me being over weight although they have never ever felt that way that i know of. they kind of brag about me to their friends for the most part. We are all pretty unhealthy in my house. I am trying to show them all what good nutrion and health look like. I have hit a plateau for the past 3 months and started exercising. still have not lost a thing. weight is still 270lbs. Body is changing a little as far as gaining strength and flexibility so i am greatful for that. I look forward to getting my sleeve dispite what my family is saying. my parents ans sibilings are against surgery for weightloss. Bad knees and diabetes run in my family. All the woman in my family for the past 3 generations are all 300lbs or more. I dont want to be like them! I watch my aunt struggle everyday with bad knees. I watch my sister take diabetes medicine. oh i also have Hypo thyroid disease so I think this may play a part in my weightloss but how does that work with Surgery???

Hey fellow mom and 40 year old [emoji2]

Think of yourself as the first in your family to take a step in the right direction and don't get discouraged if they don't immediately follow suit. Think about how long it took for you to get to this point. Everybody in their own time but you being the role model might just make all the difference.

Who's your surgeon? I would definitely ask him/her about the thyroid question. How is your pcp with your decision to go with surgery?


H 5'6" HW 253, CW 245, TBS 9/19

I didn't have to do the liquid diet pre-op- thank goodness!

I didn't have to do the liquid diet pre-op- thank goodness!

Yep, each surgeon is different. Mine only has me do day before.


H 5'6" HW 253, CW 245, TBS 9/19

Ok folks; update time... I got my endoscopy done today. Now, not all surgeons require this but mine did and a couple things:

It is no big deal... really. Unless you have issues with anesthesia.

They say this again and again... no jewelry. Not even wedding bands.

And they make absolutely sure you come with someone who can take you home. No waking up and calling an Uber; though in all honesty I totally felt fine enough to do this.

No sore throat, no nothing... you do have to fast as of midnight before.. no eating and no drinking either... that means no water people. So try to get it done early in the day

I was a little irritable for the rest of the day though.

Now; if you're squeamish don't look but if you're curious here is the photos I got to take home to show my boys.

First is my small intestine. Second is top of my stomach and third is my stomach. So third photo is what will be partially removed. I'm told I had perfect anatomy for the sleeve. (Hehehehe well at least something is perfect **rolls eyes***)

H 5'6" HW 253, CW 245, TBS 9/19