You put in the time.

You put in the money.

You go to all the appointments and you jump through all the hoops.

You do the pre-op diet.

You have the surgery.

You cared enough about yourself to make the commitment to WLS and you physically and permanently alter your body...


And then you get mad because someone tells you not to eat the d@mn taco? Not to drink alcohol or soda 2.783 days after surgery? To put down the freaking pizza'? To stop eating bread/rice/pasta/bananas/hoagies/20oz steaks TEMPORARILY while your body heals and you get to your goal weight? To actually stick to YOUR doctor's plan?

Even better, you get mad when they only do so AFTER you ASKED????

SERIOUSLY PEOPLE?

Yes. I'd guess most of us have head hunger and cravings. I'd guess most of us had a nibble or sip of something off plan. I've no doubt that most of us were not 100% compliant 100% of the time. But I'd also guess that those of us who have done this, gotten to goal weight and stayed there have been compliant the majority of the time. I'd also guess that many of us who have been successful would appreciate a swift kick in the rear if/when we ask a question I bet we already know the answer to.

It's not rocket science and this isn't Romper Room. Make good choices, stick to your doctor's orders or don't, but don't get mad if you fail to get the results you want when you refuse to do what you are supposed to do. And don't get mad when someone tells you that what you are putting in your mouth isn't the best idea in the world even though you want it right now.

Value yourself more than that. Seriously.

There is a difference between tough love and just being a heinous bitch because you want to be. (But then I remember that online forums are all some people have in life...)

@@LipstickLady -- my comment isn't aimed at you at all. You seem like a super cool chick and I have learned a lot from you in the past couple of months.

I am also a lurker, taking it all in trying to learn as much as possible.

It took me years to gather the courage to have wls. The day the program called to schedule my orientation I panicked; but I came here and saw the 6 month surgiversary post by Dub and it reminded me why I needed to do this. I am very grateful to all of you veterans that share your wisdom and are here to not only motivate people but help keep them on a solid path so they don't fall into their addictive behaviors again. Honestly, for me a taco at 3 weeks would be a gateway food for me. I would find a way to continue to get in more and more foods that would sabotage my success.

I am 13 days post op and down 68 lbs since my orientation 4 1/2 months ago. After coming here and reading many of the posts, I am very grateful that I have such a strict and structured program. If people think any of the posts I have seen from you guys are mean...they should try and get through my program. They don't mess around and they would definitely call you out for trying to eat certain foods. But it is to ensure our success, health and safety. I have followed it 100% since surgery because I did something extreme by having this surgery and I want to be successful (and I am afraid of hurting myself by eating the wrong foods).

There are too many people that sabotage unintentionally. We wouldn't be here if there weren't enablers. Sometimes someone handing us the hard truth is what we need. Sometimes the person who has our best interest at heart is the one telling us that a taco isn't the best choice at this stage.

I hope all of you veterans continue to post because there are so many of us that you are helping.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

I think that when there is an extremely negative reaction toward someone who is new to the process when they ask a question about if they "can" eat something as opposed to if they "should", this really helps no one. When the question is "can" I have a taco when the person is first on solids, the correct answer is that yes, you can with certain modifications (I suggested skipping the hard taco shell, enjoying low fat turkey, and going easy on the fatty stuff). Should you? Probably not, but medically, yes, you can. If the question is "can" I have a drink or two a weeks after surgery or the week before, medically the answer is that, yes, they can. I tend to reply a lot to the "can I eat this" threads because I think that it is important for people to understand the difference between "can" and "should" because when we tell people they CANNOT do something, when in reality, medically they absolutely can, we just perpetuate misinformation. You can eat PB&J in the soft phase- this will not hurt your new stomach. It's not going to help you lose weight, and it would have made me feel crummy, but nothing physically is going to break in your stomach if you eat that. On the other hand, "can I eat almonds and sharp, hard crackers" 3 days after surgery is a "h*ll NO" that is going to mess up your stomach.

As examples outside of surgery...can you eat that entire box of brownies? Yes. You can. You are not going to immediately die from it. Should you? No, of course not, but the long-term health consequences are your concern and you have the right to do what you want to do. If you eat a box of brownies once a year and you are a healthy weight, then good for you! It's not my business! This to me is comparable to...can I eat cake on the soft foods stage? Sure you can! You're not going to lose weight, but that piece of cake is not going to be the single thing that kills you because it somehow caused your stomach to rip open and if you can learn to eat junk food in very moderate amounts at an early stage and this is what works for you, then who am I to judge the way in which you get healthy?

Comparably, can you smoke cigarettes while you are on oxygen? Yes, physically you can, but you are likely going to burn your face off, thus causing an immediately bad result. This to me is like, "I am 2-days post-op, can I eat a jar of peanuts?". Sure you can, but you have a really good chance of jacking up you stomach, so medically no, do not eat that.

When people are asking if they can eat something, my impression is that the vast majority of the time they are seeking clarification as to whether they are physically going to hurt their stomach or themselves in the immediate short term. Whether they happen to die of a heart attack in 10 years because they kept eating junk is not the question, but rather the question is if they are going to rip open their new stomach and die from a leak. As such, it is important to differentiate between the "should" and the "can" and flipping out on people because they ask if they can have a few bites of junk food when it is entirely safe for them to do so accomplishes nothing.

I have had junk food as part of my diet since the first point it was safe to do so. My first "soft" meal was a chicken taco salad. I ate the chicken, the tomato, and some of the sour cream. I ate about 5 bites of it and was no longer hungry. I used to regularly eat 1/4 a panini from Panera when I was losing- it was my lunch and calorie wise it fit into the plan. I have been at goal now for over 18 months and I am almost at 2 years of being within 5 pounds of goal and there are plenty of times now and when I was losing that I did not follow the rules. Sometimes I eat sweets, sometimes I drink alcohol, sometimes I eat other gross things and because I have been allowed to have them in very small amounts since the start of having the sleeve, they are not some banned substance that I crave and feel like I am being denied. This is what works for me and what may work for someone else.

So yes, you CAN eat the vast majority of things people ask questions about, whether you SHOULD or not is the issue and frankly, I have no interest in telling an adult what they should be doing with their diet when I am hardly a 100% compliant patient and I ended up just fine. I see no value in telling an adult that they should not eat cake, judging them for their choices and their questions, and acting like I am better than them because I lost weight and they are still fat. They have a mirror, they have a scale, and they likely have a basic level of education about nutrition. The question is CAN not SHOULD and I am a little over the holier than thou comments that treat people like they are a complete moron for wondering if they are going to hurt their stomach by eating something they SHOULD not be eating when every single one of us has at some point eaten something we SHOULD not be eating, but which, medically, we absolutely CAN, in moderation, enjoy.

I am now going to go drink my sugar free Red Bull and eat my carb-laden, protein-lacking, sugary Cereal for Breakfast. Yum.

I can jump out of an airplane without a parachute, but I will end up dead.

So I shouldn't do it.

I don't think the people searching for cheerleaders to say it's ok to have tacos, porkchops, milkshakes or whatever the poison of choice might be, care about the nuances in grammar.

If I am about to f**k up, call me out on it, don't let me selfdestruct. Thanks.

Nilla

@@mrsNilla

Yaaahhhhsssss.

"Can" is asking for permission.

"Should" is for what is inevitable or likely to happen in the future.

Can I eat tacos, drink alcohol, eat a 20oz steak when I am barely a week or two post?

Sure...you SHOULD have never had the WLS eitherif you were NOT going follow your medical team plans concerning your post-op diet.

@@AvaFern

I think I have a common sense crush on you !

So.....no on the milkshake?

*ducks*

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Thanks Dub! I'd rather have the truth than to have smoke blown up my a$$ lol. It's all a learning process and we learn as we go.

I'm glad you were able to have the surgery and hope it helped your back! ????

Thanks Dub! I'd rather have the truth than to have smoke blown up my a$$ lol. It's all a learning process and we learn as we go.

I'm glad you were able to have the surgery and hope it helped your back!

Yer welcome...............and doing anything with an a$$ is a privilege that I savor.

Thank you.............and, YES, my back is tons better.

@@rolosmom7

Congrats on your weight loss so far.

Damn straight! I'm a man and a Spartan.

Spartans Will! Go Green!

Haha.

Go White! Sparty on!

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Here's some drama....GO BLUE

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@@reeniemay Let me take that a step further for you...

GO BUCKS!

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-T817A using Tapatalk

@@rolosmom7

Congrats on your weight loss so far.

Damn straight! I'm a man and a Spartan.

Spartans Will! Go Green!

Haha.

Go White! Sparty on!

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Here's some drama....GO BLUE

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

@@reeniemay Let me take that a step further for you...

GO BUCKS!

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-T817A using Tapatalk

Damn you all!!!! I get THIS notification and it drug me back in!

Nooooooo Go Blue.

Nooooooo Go Bucks

Damnit. I'm a Wildcat, married to a Sparty who has given birth to a Hawkeye. God KNOWS where the other two will end up?!?

Just better not be MICHIGAN, NOTRE DAME or THE OHIO STATE

I can deal with the rest of them...

( yes, I know ND is not B10, but my pure, unadulterated hatred for anything those hypocrites do made me include them....

Bunch of entitled, upper middle class white folks cheering for a French-named school with and Irish mascot and a team mostly played by Southern Baptists. Hypocrites.)

Rant over.

Headed back to my BP hiatus.

Wait. Need to call @@Dub out on that comment about things, A$$ and privilege?

Be well all!!!

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

@@rolosmom7

Congrats on your weight loss so far.

Damn straight! I'm a man and a Spartan.

Spartans Will! Go Green!

Haha.

Go White! Sparty on!

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Here's some drama....GO BLUE

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

>

@@reeniemay Let me take that a step further for you...

GO BUCKS!

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-T817A using Tapatalk

Damn you all!!!! I get THIS notification and it drug me back in!

Nooooooo Go Blue.

Nooooooo Go Bucks

Damnit. I'm a Wildcat, married to a Sparty who has given birth to a Hawkeye. God KNOWS where the other two will end up?!?

Just better not be MICHIGAN, NOTRE DAME or THE OHIO STATE

I can deal with the rest of them...

( yes, I know ND is not B10, but my pure, unadulterated hatred for anything those hypocrites do made me include them....

Bunch of entitled, upper middle class white folks cheering for a French-named school with and Irish mascot and a team mostly played by Southern Baptists. Hypocrites.)

Rant over.

Headed back to my BP hiatus.

Wait. Need to call @@Dub out on that comment about things, A$$ and privilege?

Be well all!!!

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Notre Dame feels are spot on !!!!!!

Spot freakin' on !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bamsucka !

@@Dub lmao ????.....Good start to a Monday morning lol

Edited September 26, 20169 yr by redfire_angel75

Go BUCKEYES!!! This girl bleeds scarlet & gray...O-H!