So as I'm excited about this process and know I'm going to love the new me I chose to tell people about the surgery my friends that is and I get the feeling that most or not all are jealous and say negative things like you can die from having that surgery or you don't need it stop being lazy .It hurt my feelings so bad I decided to keep everything that I'm doing by myself .I thought people would be happy and they are not .How do you deal with that ?

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So as I'm excited about this process and know I'm going to love the new me I chose to tell people about the surgery my friends that is and I get the feeling that most or not all are jealous and say negative things like you can die from having that surgery or you don't need it stop being lazy .It hurt my feelings so bad I decided to keep everything that I'm doing by myself .I thought people would be happy and they are not .How do you deal with that ?

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Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Vow to get revenge on them by reaching your goal weight and living a fulfilling and active life. You know what they say - "living well is the best revenge."

If you respond with positivity and success, they may eventually realize that they were being self-centered and were perhaps uneducated about obesity and weight loss. But don't let the approval (or lack of approval) of other people really affect you. It's really their problem, not yours. Good luck!

At least some of the negative comments are coming from people who are anywhere from chubby to obese, right? They have a vested interested in encouraging you to remain one of them. The others are simply ignorant.

How do you deal with that? You don't. You deal with what you need to deal with for what is in your best interests. The rest doesn't matter. Just be aware of who your real friends are and confide in them. If you're not sure, they're the ones who smile and laugh when they hear your enthusiasm and progress.

STOP TELLING PEOPLE.

Problem solved.

I guess I'm a real bitch because at this point in my life I could care less what people say. My circle of friends has gotten smaller as the years go on. If someone has the balls to tell you to "stop being lazy" - they aren't a real friend. I'm sure my family and friends will be concerned about me - I'm having major surgery. I was nervous for my SO having cataract surgery - that's a normal reaction of loved ones. But being hurtful and rude isn't.

Just tell them to stop being ignorant assholes! And Yes - you can die from surgery - you can also die from obesity and that's a much higher percentage!

You will more than likely lose them as friends. Its ok. You need to worry about one person, you.

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Thanks guys for the advice .I have most definitely stop telling people and at this point my circle is getting smaller .My daughter is my support system she is more excited then anyone .You would think she is having surgery .She is the main reason I want to have the surgery I have really bad Osteoarthritis in my right knee and I can barely walk now a days .I promised her a trip to Disneyland shortly after the surgery .I will no longer let anyone bring my excitement down and just counting down for my process to start .Thanks again guys .

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Just remind yourself are doing this for yourself and your loved ones.

Maybe tell them you want to live a longer, healthier and happier life. But they probably won't get that if they made a hurtful remark in the first place.

If some people can't see that, then maybe they are people you shouldn't associate with as often, or possibly not at all.

Surround yourself with supportive positive people.

Believe in yourself.

Edited September 16, 20169 yr by 4MRB4PHOTO

STOP TELLING PEOPLE.

Problem solved.

And then, cut those people out of your life.

So as I'm excited about this process and know I'm going to love the new me I chose to tell people about the surgery my friends that is and I get the feeling that most or not all are jealous and say negative things like you can die from having that surgery or you don't need it stop being lazy .It hurt my feelings so bad I decided to keep everything that I'm doing by myself .I thought people would be happy and they are not .How do you deal with that ?

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Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

I understand totally. I told a couple of my friends that I thought were really my friends and explained that I also am doing this for health reasons and all I got was negative brutal comments. I chose then to not tell anyone else. If they are your friends they would respect your decision whether they agree with it or not. Making you feel bad is not cool at all.

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I understand totally. I told a couple of my friends that I thought were really my friends and explained that I also am doing this for health reasons and all I got was negative brutal comments. I chose then to not tell anyone else. If they are your friends they would respect your decision whether they agree with it or not. Making you feel bad is not cool at all.

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I am so glad that you understand how I feel .It was like a slap in the face .Either way I have distanced myself from the negative and focused on starting my new healthy lifestyle .So I feel so much better I found a group of people that support me and never even met me .So I'm so very thankful.

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I'm sorry you're getting negative comments from your friends about this. I was completely open with everyone about what I was doing and why. I did get some of those comments, but they were made in love and not hate. I know the comments that they know people who have had the surgery and gained back all the weight was because they didn't want that to happen to me. Or that they didn't think I was that fat, was their way of trying to tell me the like me how I am. Or that I might die from the surgery, is their way of saying they don't want me to die. . Once the process really got started they have all stepped up and been very supportive.

I am VERY careful of who I accept into my circle of friends. I don't surround myself with negative people in the first place. So their concerns were valid and expressed in love. Many discussions were had but ultimately it is my decision and I'm doing it so I can have a long and healthy life with my bride. If any of them had continued to be negative or failed to be supportive as I got into this then I would be questioning just how good of a friend they were in the first place.

Edited September 16, 20169 yr by #BirdDog

I'm in the same situation as you. I chose to tell my sisters, my husband and my best friend; my twin sister makes really snide comments. I finally told her she has no clue as to whats going on with me health wise because she cant relate. She has a normal BMI and from what I know no known health issues. She doesn't understand or can't fathom the struggles of someone morbidly obese cause she has never had to walk in our shoes, see our abnormal test results or witness our health fears. To me that goes for everyone who doesn't understand why we chose this journey. We are striving to see a better health outcome for ourselves.

Hi there I have a band and am converting (hopefully) to a sleeve. I only told a couple of people that I am going for a sleeve. I knew my sister's would not approve they were told after. Weight loss is an journey that does not stop. Ignorance well if all the diets worked everyone would not be overweight.

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