People and their big mouths

[Valentina 2,642]

Family's comments can cut deep. I'm so sorry you had to endure such from a family member.

Why do family members think that it's OK to just say whatever comes into their minds with no filter? Common courtesy should pertain to family, yes?

I remember when my mother, sister and I went wedding gown shopping for myself. Way back in the day, plus size wedding gowns had to be ordered, so I really could not try any of the gowns on.

So, my sister tried on the gowns. When she came out of the dressing room, my mother cried because MY SISTER looked soooo beautiful. I just sat in a chair and nodded.

The saddest part about that story?? That's just the way of things growing up. My sister was always the "pretty daughter" and I was always "the smart daughter". That's the way it was. To tell the truth, it hasn't changed --to this day. I am 5# less than my sister and am still referred to as "Chubs".

Sometimes I think we have to walk our journey ALONE--FOR OURSELVES and no one else. We have nothing to prove to anyone other than ourselves.

I look forward to watching your successful and joyful journey, Friend.

[NeedaBreak4Me 1,755]

Wow.... thank you everyone.... i just woke up and read your messages...... what a beautiful bunch of people you are!

I think many of you are correct about wasting the lamb and using the wrong end..... can i use the potatoes instead?? Lol

I have decided to try not let it affect me... but it saddens me that someone who is meant to be your own flesh and blood could be so judgemental... but i guess they are still people too... just because they are family doesn't make them any different.

Its strange though, i wonder what kind of vibe i am giving off to allow people to comment so easily... if anyone saw my other post about the dude from work.... this is now the second time this has happened in 8 weeks... so i think i need to review what i am allowing people to get away with...... but i am proud that this time i was able to say something and not freeze up in shock.

It's funny cause i do not see a size 14 (i think thats a US 10) as really big, especially for someone who is tall.... so now i am doubting myself thinking am i really bigger than what i am.... i am now wondering if i am in denial about my actual size......

Argh... damn these stupid thoughts.... i need a self doubt exorcism!!!!!!

[Alex Brecher 10,494]

@, I am so sorry that came from your own family. People will always say mean and demeaning things, whether or not they intend to. You can’t let them get to you. You know you’re doing awesome. You know there’s no point in even answering them. They’re probably not interested in learning about your new lifestyle. They probably don’t care how hard you’re working. They probably don’t realize or want to recognize how little 8 weeks is in the scheme of your entire life.

People like that can always make you feel bad, but try not to let them. Just carry on. In six months when they ask how you lost so much weight, you can tell them, “I tried to tell you six months ago...”

[PaulaB72 49]

I would have asked them how much weight THEY have lost in 8 weeks. Pfffft. So sorry this happened.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[UalreadyKnow 843]

Misery loves company... And this person just sounds

1) ignorant

2) envious

3) miserable

Please don't let someone's delusional thoughts take your confidence or time. It's not worth it honey. You are a rockstar continue to shine!!!

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Edited June 26, 2016 by UalreadyKnow

[OzRoo 1,492]

@

Mega Congratulations on your Great result and weight loss !!!

You have done really well.

Yes, IMO this person was very jealous and suffering from the "tall poppy syndrome", or .... fat poppy syndrome ...

Haters will stay being haters, no matter what you do or say.

My favourite reply is: "Thanks for sharing", or: "what you think of me is none of My business", then walking away, smiling and watching their brains doing cartwheels trying to figure it out ....

I have one family member I absolutely refuse to deal with.

Go girl, you're doing Great !!!

Don't let small minds and negativity affect you .... You know You, they don't

Frankly, I feel sorry for these types, however this is Their problem and has Nothing to do with You!

Hugs

[Oak Park Lorena 162]

Thanks everyone for your support... that family member is usually a jerk.. so i don't have high expectations from them... but secretly it has actually cut me deep...

But i guess i need to remind myself that its their ignorance that they expect me to go from obese to healthy in a couple of weeks.

What makes me so sensitive to it is that i really did try after i had my band not to regain, and this surgery was a last resort.. so to have someone mock that, hurt that little bit extra... grrrr

Perhaps i should have shoved the sunday family roast lamb in their mouth to shut them up! Hahaha

Nah, don't shove the lamb down their throat, that would be a waste of quality Protein I literally cringed when I read your post. I cringed because I can feel how raw and painful it is for you and I have had similar fun experiences that still hurt. Family, even the crazy ones, have the ability to cut to the quick like no one else. I had my sleeve in August and I saw the whole family for Thanksgiving after I'd dropped 70 pounds. I cannot tell you how many times I had to bite my tongue to stop myself when I heard things like, "she didn't really lose weight, she cheated and got her stomach taken out," "don't worry, she's an eater, we'll see next Thanksgiving." And these are the people who love me! I just keep repeating my mantra: in with anger, out with love, in with anger, out with love, in with anger, out with cursing and body blows...ooops!

[NeedaBreak4Me 1,755]

@@Oak Park Lorena

I agree....it is a waste of Protein..... i decided on the potatoes instead hahaha

Sorry to hear your family was also insensitive, it really hurts when the people who supposedly love you unconditionally treat you like that... good for you for being strong.

I think what bothers them is that they wanted to do WLS themselves and couldn't afford it.... so i think you are all correct it could very well be jealousy.

Why can't people genuinely be happy? I am genuinely happy when people improve their lives or succeed, so i don't really understand envy...

[MrsKarenC2008 622]

I'm with @KindaFamiliar ... People suck.

Probably about 95% of them ... in more ways than one.

But ... the other 5% ... have a great way of making you feel like you're on top of the world when they see you and compliment you on a job well done ....

I'll take the 5% any day !

[KristenLe 5,979]

I would have asked them how much weight THEY have lost in 8 weeks. Pfffft. So sorry this happened.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

This is what I would have said too! This a$$hole clearly is trying to cut you down - hoping you won't lose weight and feel & look better than them! Misery loves company! Tell them to screw off and let you know when they've lost any weight!

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

I think you've accomplished so much! I look back to when I was obese and cannot imagine I'd have put someone down in public for making progress in the direction of my own dreams.

Yes, your "relative"(who sounds NOTHING like you!) may be jealous or uncomfortable about your healthy progress. But saying those words to you identifies him or her as a toxic creature.

You got blindsided this time. "You won't get fooled again." They will have to fix themself, like YOU did.

Onward and upward.

[gina171 626]

That person is one sad soul who can't stand to look in the mirror and face their own obesity issues with the courage to address them either non-surgically or surgically. They are sad, but also unkind.

As Maya Angelou said, "When people show you who they are, believe them the first time."

Sent from my iPad using the BariatricPal App

[NeedaBreak4Me 1,755]

Thank you all for your thoughtful and supportive replies.... you are a wondeful bunch of people who i have come to rely on for support through this process.

I appreciate the time you have taken to reply and guide me with your wisdom, and for that i am so grateful

I have decided that i am going to annoy them even more by being a success.... i will be the best version of myself that i can be.

I will not allow anyone (including family) rain on my parade... I've got this....

Life is too short and precious to spend it worrying what other people think, i will be the best i can be, be kind, be empathetic and a good person....

People will always find something to complain or comment about.... i will from now... be graceful and try my best not to allow these people to affect my self esteem.

And to the meanies in the world, they can kiss my (now shrinking) behind!! Hahhaa

[Sarellen5 27]

Why do people feel the need to say such stupid things..why can't they just keep their mouths shut!

It upset me... because i was finally getting my confidence and groove back

That just sounds like a mean awful person...who says that!

I can't imagine why someone would say that other than they are unhappy with themselves. Move on, you are doing great! Don't let this person steal your positive energy.

[mc2016 0]

Well you handled that appropriately on the spot. I'm thinking like wow you are doing so great... then boom assholes can't keep their mouths shut.

I admit though I haven't told anyone about having the sleeve done. They all know I truthfully had hernia repairs.

You are much stronger than most people.

I initially doubted myself about keeping it to my immediate family. Not so much anymore. My progress, successes and pitfalls are my own. I can't handle negativity in my life so I walk away.

Kudos and keep towards where you want to be