Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

People and their big mouths



Recommended Posts

It upset me... because i was finally getting my confidence and groove back

when your own family members do it... it hurts so much more...

Mind you, this comment came from someone who is morbidly obese themselves,... so if anything they should understand!

Every bozo you've ever encountered who wasn't your family was family to someone. Being family doesn't preclude stupidity, obliviousness, self-loathing and fear. Your relative just happens to have cornered the market on all of them. The comments to you have no bearing on your life, never mind your work and success. Good for you for speaking up. Your confidence and groove are yours. Screw the fools.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You are far too smart to allow some d-bag steal your joy. You can't help who you are related to, but on the same note, you don't have to entertain the lunacy of f-ck wits, blood or not.

Dust yourself off, girly. Imma' swim over there and beat you myself if you give her one more ounce of your being.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@@KindaFamiliar

Thanks hun, its easier when i stranger does it... but when your own family members do it... it hurts so much more...

Mind you, this comment came from someone who is morbidly obese themselves,... so if anything they should understand!

When you mentioned that I was thinking jealously

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

What the ever living f*ck?

Number one, did this person expect you to be skinny in 8 weeks?

And B, this person is an a**hole.

You've done an amazing job, and i'm sure you look fabulous. Don't let that dimwit take that away from you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wow!! Ditto everything everyone else has said. I'm proud of you and I don't even know you. Lol! But seriously, people will always have something to say, especially family! Don't let them steal your joy.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

People who are jealous of others success and attention will always try to put you down. Just say a pray for those because they are the ones that truly need the help. CONGRATULATIONS on YOU!!! You got this and will be even more amazing then before your weight loss journey!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Like the others, I am proud of you for not giving away your power.

Friends are expensive and family is messy.

What are they going to say when you lose the next 50 pounds?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Like the others, I am proud of you for not giving away your power.

Friends are expensive and family is messy.

What are they going to say when you lose the next 50 pounds?

Family is messy. I've had family (my children's family from their fathers side) say that they hope that I stay fat or that I'll just gain all of the weight back after surgery. They can't stand it when I become successful in anything. But they consider me "family" smh.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

...Perhaps i should have shoved the sunday family roast lamb in their mouth to shut them up! Hahaha

I was thinking the opposite end of the digestive tract would have been more appropriate for the rude people.

I agree, the mouth would be the wrong orifice. Since his brains are in his a** anyway, that is where it should go.

@, thanks for ranting and not killing the bastard. Those stupid comments hurt like hell. We all know they shouldn't, but they do. One of my 10 reasons for getting the surgery was "revenge." There have been people who rejected me because of my weight before surgery. As it turns out that has to be the least satisfying result of the surgery. Haters just don't get it, so you never get satisfaction or vindication by rubbing their noses in it. All you can realistically do, is find your own happiness and awesomeness. Occasionally "the I'll show him" thought can be a motivator, but I find it very hollow. Just continue to be awesome.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You know this is jealousy right. And this person is so jealous of you they cannot contain it. They made an idiot of themselves in front of their family and I am sure others in your family let them

Have it!!!! From your stats you started at a relatively low BMI like I did (42 for me) and there is no reason you can't loose most of your excess weight. You will be healthy and look great in no time at all. Getting your health back will be the best revenge!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@ I'm sure this is something that I will encounter in the future. Unfortunately, it always comes from family when you do get the ignorance :-(

You do you!!!!!!! ;-)

I'm in the same boat when it comes to negativity so I have also chose to tell a selective few. Unfortunately some people just don't know how to give credit where credit is do.

Keep up tge good work and shame on them :-)

Sent from my SGH-T999L using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@

You are doing fantastic but clearly you already know that. Obese family or friends are usually the ones that seem to be the most jealous a$$holes of all. It is because they are still in a place where they are ok living the way they are.

Many are younger and have yet to have serious comorbitities but don't worry, their time will come.

If I were you, I would use this as motivation to get to a healthy weight and stay there. This would be a good way to stick it right up their you know what.

Do not let them take your power away in the future! They are not worth your time.

Good luck on continuing success!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

From what I've witnessed and experienced, negative reactions tend to come from one of three places:

1. You're looking good, and you're garnering attention. Attention that other people are used to having, and often aren't accustomed to sharing. This tends to make them lash out in an attempt to make you look bad and shift the attention back to them, where they're more comfortable.

2. They're simply uneducated. Their knowledge of WLS is either decades old, produced from their own misconceptions, or the result of only paying attention to negative news stories or the gossip around failed patients (hey, those stories are more 'juicy'). Ironically, these also tend to be the same people who think they know everything, believe everything they read on the interwebz, and won't even entertain the notion that they might be wrong. (Your family member MAY fall into this category, but I suspect its more likely door number 3...)

3. They have their own weight problem, and you're making them feel self-conscious and/or jealous. They were perfectly content living in their own denial (as most of us were at some point, I'm sure), and here you come all sparkly and successful and shining a spot light on the topic of obesity and weight loss. It makes them feel exposed and defensive, and so they attack you and/or the surgery - usually loudly. This is partly to deter others from thinking about or asking when they are going to do something about their own weight, and partly to convince themselves that there's no point in making changes or considering a step that they're not ready for or able to afford anyway.

Painful and frustrating as they can be to deal with, none of these reasons have anything to do with you.

You are awesome, and you are doing a great job.

And you know that... ;)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If you were hosting the get-together, you should have asked this person to leave. Otherwise, I simply would have left myself, while calling the bastard out.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks everyone for your support... that family member is usually a jerk.. so i don't have high expectations from them... but secretly it has actually cut me deep...

But i guess i need to remind myself that its their ignorance that they expect me to go from obese to healthy in a couple of weeks.

What makes me so sensitive to it is that i really did try after i had my band not to regain, and this surgery was a last resort.. so to have someone mock that, hurt that little bit extra... grrrr

Perhaps i should have shoved the sunday family roast lamb in their mouth to shut them up! Hahaha

What? and waste all of that yummy Protein? ;)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 1 reply
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×