Stranger in a strange land....

[Dub 10,032]

Is not just an Iron Maiden song, lol. 😁

• 27 yrs of marriage, now closing in on 5 years as a widower
• finding my way in facing the ever-present painful loss, yet continuing forward
• 9 yrs post op from gastric sleeve
• emerging from isolation and stepping out from the cave into the world around me
• interested in living again...enthused about it, in fact.
• interested in meeting people and possibly dating.

Things have changed over the last few years.

For example, Facebook. When I was mildly active on there before my wife became terminally ill it was more or less updates from friends on the goings on in their lives.

Fast forward to a couple months ago when I reactivated my account I quickly discovered things were way, way different. Bombarded with fakery and insidious marketing schemes.

I guess being naive (aka FB ignorant) had a quick learning curve. For example, I had an inbound messenger from a recently added "friend". She'd invited me out for a meet. We met the next day at a coffee shop. I almost didn't recognize her when she arrived. She walked over and introduced herself. Her profile pictures only vaguely resembled her. I am quick to joke about stuff, but resisted the impulse. Otherwise I'd have asked if she was involved with a witness protection program.

It was difficult to get comfortable with someone whose first move was a disguise. Now, perhaps there are legitimate safety reasons why she would take such precautions. I can understand the concerns. The next half hour was a conversation that revealed a number of incompatible views on things.

Mentioned the meet to a buddy. He laughed and told me that FB is, in fact, a minefield.

Working long hours and rotating shifts doesn't lend itself well to dating. I suppose it will be an obstacle that I'll figure out.

Certainly expanding my in person outings beyond just work & the shooting ranges.

Who knew that the supermarket was a place to meet and chat ? Not me.

Who knew that swapping over from a barber shop to a different place for haircuts would also be a meet & greet spot ?

How about a doctors office visit for annual physical....new nurses...another coffee shop invite.

Or another unexpected introduction & follow up....when buying cologne...for the first time in forever....

I guess the best way for me is to simply live life.....show up in person for any shopping needs vs no more online shopping.

Get out there in the daily grind and simply be real.

Anyway.....open for suggestions from folks who have been there and found success.

[SpartanMaker 1,377]

I don't think I have a whole lot to add @Dub, other than to say good luck in your search!

Actually, I guess I will throw out one thing?

Keep in mind I've been married 36 years, so anything I say may not apply in this day and age, but I was told by a wise man many years ago to seek a partner that has similar interests. He said the best way to do that is in social settings where people are pursuing those interests. Whether it's church, a bowling league, your local gym, or a book club, your shared interests help build bonds. Especially if an active lifestyle is important to you, things like your local running club can be great places to meet people. I mention running clubs specifically because they have a bit of a rep for actually being quasi dating clubs.

[Dub 10,032]

Thanks.

I'm open to any and all advice.

I'd likely die on the vine with the book club theme.....wonder if there are any women into Jack Carr novels, lol ???

My home away from home used to be the shooting ranges. There are a growing number of ladies shooting now. This is an awesome trend. Perhaps it'll be a future afternoon date venue .Regardless, it'll remain a place I visit weekly.

You are definitely onto something with pursuing the shared interest aspects. I will look for ways to do that. There is a local kayak group that a buddy told me about. He made a point to stress the number of women he sees when he's attended.

The gym has been a great place to meet women. Nurses, especially. I try not to let the fact they are bringing the heart shock pads over to me get in the way of good conversation. Just kidding. I haven't stroked out, yet. I simply go in and do my thing....mind my own bidness. I did have one hop on the treadmill beside mine, in a sea of open treadmills. I smiled, nodded and kept doing my thing. She laughed and began chatting...I was stunned,"Dude, ya still go it"....only to realize she was on a cellphone call coming through her earbuds.

No worries, no hurry. Everything has a way of sorting out.

[SpartanMaker 1,377]

Yea, honestly a lot of people just want to get in and out of the gym and not be bothered. One thing you might try though would be group fitness classes at the gym. As a general rule, people are a bit more open to talking to others in these classes and as a bonus, they tend to be dominated by women.

Yoga might be another option since most yoga classes are like 90% or more women. Just be aware, there may be a higher percentage in yoga classes that are vegan or otherwise won't be happy with your penchant to hunt.