I’ve seen a few threads pop up recently about post-op patients who are having trouble with their social lives. Specifically, they don’t seem to be compatible with their old groups of friends anymore.

A lot of times, pre-op socializing revolved around going to the bar or meeting for brunch, lunch, dinner, or watching the game on TV while eating unhealthy Snacks. Post-op, you’ve moved past drinking and overeating, but maybe your old friends have not. Maybe you’ve discovered that eating and drinking were all you had in common with them, and now that bond is gone.

Have you found that since surgery, you are not able to get together with your old friends like you used to? How are you handling it? Have you hung out more with other groups of friends who don’t need your meetings to revolve around food? Have you found new friends as you’ve expanded your interests and abilities as you lose weight? Or have you been able to persuade your eating and drinking buddies to become buddies for walking, shopping, sewing, or something else not related to food?

Do you have any tips for other WLS patients who may be feeling lonely post-op as they need to change their social habits?

WLS has had little impact on my social life when compared to other life changes I've had post-op like getting married, moving, etc. One thing surgery has impacted regarding my friends is that I am more likely to suggest an activity versus drinking and/or eating get together. Losing weight allowed me to confidently participate in my friend's more active lifestyles, e.g. to suggest hiking as an opportunity to reconnect versus going out to dinner.

I used to be happy, even when I was fat. But Unfortunately I know too much now to ever be happy again. All I can do is learn how to be at peace with the unhappiness.

And yeah, people can GFT.

I want to hug you.

I've always preferred to stay home at night and watch tv compared to going out. Luckily my best friend is the same so when we are together nothing has changed. If I do go out with friends I just order differently. I haven't noticed any change in how they treat me. When people I meet see an old picture though they are completely shocked.

One this is nice though is that I do feel better about being our and about. Even though I don't see the new me, I'm starting to realize others do, so I can be more confident.

Some massively great comments in this thread!

I'm still thinking about how I feel about this question (good one, Alex).

But one thing I'm realizing is that I need even more friends. It's time to start new-friend-dating.

My lifestyle has changed a lot when it comes to food and nutrition and fitness just like most of us here. My friends and family have mostly been the same. I am still very much part of the same social circle. I choose to put my health and wellness first now. I make sure I put my health and fitness goals first before I go out to socialize. I keep my outings short and alcohol free. My friends have come to terms with the new me and don't bother me about eating and drinking. I feel truly blessed and am grateful.

Before and after surgery...I have great friends and family that are in my circle I choose not to invest my time with people that are a negative force in life.

I am making up for time that was wasted when I was obese..I was a home body.

After surgery. I am always open to new things to experience. I am finding adventures. Checking things off my bucket list.I have opened up to a whole new community of people.

My social life has changed dramatically since my surgery...

When I was fat, I used to go out drinking, gambling, loose women...

You all know the type of stuff..

Now I spend my spare time here -

Talking to you lot about Protein, hydration and poo...

Yeah...

Life's good...

My social life has blossomed. I host parties, I am invited to parties, , I go dancing, I make trips, I have a very social/outgoing boyfriend and his friends are becoming part of my social circle. I have few close friends but have so much fun with them and the larger social circle.

I am a happier fun person now and everything is better.

A pal who lives in the city told me yesterday that our uber driver from our December 26th big night out keeps asking about the"funny curly haired brunette" and when i am doing another girls night in he city. I must be a real wallflower that uber Ray finds me THAT memorable - NOT!!

@@CowgirlJane ... even on my computer screen you are memorable.

I still have the same friends, most have been very supportive and I'm happy to say, have taken a healthier lifestyle also, so even thou I'm not the party girl I used to be, I'm definitely loving life, keeping busy, and still enjoy entertaining!

As for the few friends that continue to drink and smoke, they know I can't be around it, not now anyway, I do still struggle with if it and I never ever want to go back to it. So I don't spend a lot of time with them anymore but do still talk a lot and see them on special occasions. I think they understand, and if they don't I'm sure they are calling me a b...h behind my back

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

I think so far the biggest change to my social life is getting up on Saturday mornings at 6 for group/long runs for marathon training. I am not a morning person, especially not on Saturday mornings, but I haven't missed a week yet. I am developing a group of running friends. That's very new. Because of my marathon training even my time with my other friends is starting to involve more activity. There are only so many hours in the day and I have to keep moving.

pam

I've generally kept a small inner circle and none of those relationships have changed. However, I now seem to have a lot more casual friends/acquaintances. I've been feeling much more confident and have, therefore, been friendlier and more outgoing.

I would like to make more friends. Sometimes I find it difficult to cross over from, say, friend at work mode to hanging out outside of work mode. I think the issue is mostly due to scheduling. I have a new boyfriend I'm spending a good deal of time with. I also exercise nearly every day, so it's often 8 p.m. by the time I get done, shower, and make myself presentable. I also have two dogs at home and I want to be able to hang out with them. It can be hard to juggle everything, but the desire to be more social is definitely there!

A subtle, but important change is I don't hunt for an end/aisle seat because I'm no longer self conscious of my weight. That gets me into the middle of conversations I used to miss out on. But overall I'm still the same person I used to be. But it did change the number and quality of prospects in the dating pool when I was in there.

Social life for me has only slightly changed since surgery. I volunteer at a Philadelphia public radio station (WXPN) that has a concert (at noon) every Friday. After the concert the volunteers typically go out to lunch as a group. At lunch today I ordered wings and brought most of them home with me. And had a beer that I almost finished. Great conversation and no one knows about my surgery, or even suspects that anything has changed.

A normal lunch pre-surgery would have been a cheese steak, fries, and 2 beers. No one seems to notice or care that my dietary habits have changed.

I've lost 25 pounds so far and my coworkers and friends treat me the same. Well, sometimes I get told they can see noticeable changes but I don't see a big difference yet. Pre-op when we go to a pool hall I used to order mixed drinks, now I just take my own Powerade Zero, Diet Fuze or bottle of water. The biggest difference is in dating. Every relationship I gain weight from eating out so much. My last relationship ended 1 month prior to surgery, and now my date keeps thinking I don't eat whatsoever. Not true, haha! I just order an appetizer or a small entrée and take leftovers home. At work if my coworkers ask if I want to order food with them, I do the same thing or give 90% of the meal away after I split my portion.

Edited June 4, 201610 yr by jea(n__n)ette