So I've been overweight since I was a child, and lets just say I'm not used to guys looking at me - at least without thinking that it was just because I was overweight or they were disgusted. But now I feel like a lot of guys are looking at me in the gym and I have no clue if its because I'm attractive, I have sweat marks on my clothes (gross but it is the gym... lol), or whatever reason I come up with (such as my butt is too big) .

I get that a lot of my problem is with my self image, but how do I know if its because they find me attractive, or for a whole other reason. I'm just very inexperienced with male attention and how to react to it Guys, what is your input on this? Ladies, have you dealt with this before? Any advice is appreciated!

And its not like I'm wearing anything revealing, at least not in my opinion.

@@Steph0625 You are attractive...

After being invisible as an over weight person, The attention from the opposite sex is weird...Right??? lol I still question myself if I'm dressed appropriate, If my zipper is down or do I have something in my teeth. Can we agree men are the same creature from puberty on...To the guy's, let me know if you are offended or agree with that statement lol

It takes time to wrap your head around attention. I had to learn how to take a complement.

Compliment scale:

Appropriate - Is appreciated. Except it and move on..

Hilarious - Makes for good stories to tell friends..Gives you a chuckle for the day.

Creepy - Need I say more.

I still have to laugh at how clueless I am about men. But if they look at this old chick it's a good day...

Steph, come closer. I want to talk to you.

IT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE ADORABLE, YOU LITTLE CHOWDERHEAD.

Even the sweat is appealing to the males. They're admiring a woman who is serious about what she's doing.

It's not easy to internalize the reality. Until it's no longer so disconcerting -- and it will come around -- just smile and nod once in a while as people do when they're sharing an experience. Or not. Just don't allow a moment's thought that you're some sort of misfit.

"Adorable" is your word of the day. Tomorrow, too.

Steph, come closer. I want to talk to you.

IT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE ADORABLE, YOU LITTLE CHOWDERHEAD.

Even the sweat is appealing to the males. They're admiring a woman who is serious about what she's doing.

It's not easy to internalize the reality. Until it's no longer so disconcerting -- and it will come around -- just smile and nod once in a while as people do when they're sharing an experience. Or not. Just don't allow a moment's thought that you're some sort of misfit.

"Adorable" is your word of the day. Tomorrow, too.

@@jenn1 @@WLSResources/ClothingExch Thank you for your advice and kind words! Yes the attention is weird, and I'm always wondering if its because something is wrong lol

It's all a journey and I'll just have to work on that part I guess. I'm still super shy too so I have a hard time making eye contact with guys

You look great, enjoy the attention. I use to have a nice butt like that but now it's flat, makes me sad. Now I have to build one back or start wearing padded panties like my sister... Hahaha!! Keep up the good work.

Sent from my SM-N910V using the BariatricPal App

Oh!! I just thought of something. I'll take the padding out of my bra, like I need anymore there DDD. Hahaha!

Sent from my SM-N910V using the BariatricPal App

@@Blondie 6388 haha thank you! My butt (and thighs) was always the biggest part of me! My mom keeps saying I'm gonna lose it all, but I hope not. Thats why I squat now

@@Steph0625

I'm also working on eye contact. It's strange that I expect a negative reaction from men. It catches me off guard when its positive.

A situation that has come up with eye contact for me. Men have taken it as an invitation to approach me.. I would like to get a guy's perspective. Am I giving off the vibe I'm interested????.. Again..I'm clueless

Sometimes, a "big butt and thighs" are -

1. Not noticed because of your smile...

2. Not noticed because you're cute..

3. Not noticed because you're at the gym and you're really having a go and making positive changes and the like...

4. Not noticed because we're men and, as such, see the things we like rather than the things you see as 'faults'...

5. Noticed and are part of why you're attractive..

Don't try to work us out ladies..

For simple folk, we're quite complex...

Some of us are anyway...

You lot on the other hand..

Well, that's for another, much longer thread...

That I'm more than willing to be a part of...

Anyway...

@@Steph0625

Yeah, you're getting checked out...

But it's not just at the gym...

That is all...

@@Steph0625 - you are really very pretty and I am sure the @@KindaFamiliar types (males) are doing exactly what he said

Well I'd sure as hell be checking you out!

They're checking you out! You're adorable - and have great curves!

you're adorable! of course they're checking you out!

aren't you checking them out too? :-)

Things I have learned by going to the gym: Men find women that are taking care of themselves attractive. They find confident women attractive and that when you have the courage to go to a co-ed gym and work out in front of them, that shows great confidence..in essence, they think that stuff is hot. They don't care about sweat, running make up or even absence of make up...they aren't thinking that your butt is too big, what you are wearing, or any of that crap. If they are looking, they are checking you out. They are probably thinking, that is awesome that you are working out and taking care of yourself.

Maybe by working out, you might be releasing pheromones ...so they are only human. Ask them to spot you and find out for sure

you're adorable! of course they're checking you out!

aren't you checking them out too? :-)

Well hell yeah I'm checking them out! lol It's sad, but thats somewhat of a motivator to go as often as I do. I'm also loving the results that I'm getting, but a little eye candy never hurts

@@Pillar2butterfly Haha I'm not confident enough yet to ask for a spotter. Maybe I'll get to that eventually! And I hope you're right about the sweat because I had an "incident" the other day. I usually work out at night so the gym isn't so hot. I wore under armor compression shorts under my maurices brand yoga pants. The UA wicks the sweat away, but when I was sitting or kneeling on the bench, my yoga pants just soaked it all up lol It was a bit embarrassing because I do workout in the free weight section and there was a lot of people there that day. I kinda just said F-it, but thats why I mentioned the staring. I'm just going to embrace it from now on lol

Thank you! @@KristenLe @@BigViffer @@jane13

@@Steph0625

"I kinda just said F-it, but thats why I mentioned the staring. I'm just going to embrace it from now on lol"

No one cares about that shit at the gym! They just care if you show up!