This is supposed to be an exciting time of my life, I just got my own place Friday and I'm still in the process of moving in and then my gastric sleeve gastrectomy is set for tomorrow and so I'm under a lot of stress as it is. I was confident about the surgery yesterday and was still confident today until my grandpa called me this morning and told me that his friend had died from having weight loss surgery and that I should listen to him and not get it or at least postpone it.

Now his friend already had the surgery a while back and lost a lot of weight but he died two days ago. My grandpa claims it's from the weight loss surgery but I'm not sure he knows that for sure. I mean the guy could've had preexisting medical problems, he was in his early 50's as far as I'm concerned he could've died from anything. Am I scared? No. Do I know there's a possibility that I could die? Yes. Am I afraid of dying? No. I talked to a nurse who had a gastric bypass and she reassured me that my surgeon has yet to lose a patient. So I still want the surgery but now it's like I have no joy about it anymore, just opposition from my family and stress. My grandpa also said that if I get sick or need to go to the hospital or anything not to call him for help. I just don't get it.

Then my mom keeps playing games with me. I asked her weeks ago if she would take me to get the surgery and she said she would and to just remind her and keep reminding her so that I don't just spring it up on her at the very last minute and to constantly remind her all the way up until the surgery. Well I've been doing that and then she gets mad and says that I keep asking her the same questions too much. She has started playing games saying she's not going to take me after all. I know she isn't just saying that, she has flaked out on me before. So now it looks like I'm taking the bus tomorrow. I don't know how I will get home but I'll worry about it when it's time to leave the hospital. I'm just so sad that complete strangers like everyone here at bariatricpal, the guy at the grocery store, even the guy at GNC have been so supportive and helpful but I just can't get that from my family.

Edited April 6, 201610 yr by crazygoose

BTW, this is completely silly to feel or say, but ... your mom really pissed me off.

Awesome that you're feeling so good!! You have "balls" for dealing with all the family crap & having the surgery--you got this girl!!

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Awee sorry to hear that . family could be worse than a stranger. It can be alot of things maybe they are just to scared or this is how they deal with the fear .... My friend /supervisor supports me all the way cause she knows a pack of wild horses couldn't stop me if they tried. that is what she always say to me. as long as you did your research and you feel comfortable you do you... another reason not to tell many people. on tuesday when i went April 5 to have my surgery (revision ) band to sleeve my husband was taking me and guess who popped up at my house at 8 am ... yes my mom who i didnt tell because i dont want to hear her mouth and for her to be worried. so i was rushing out and she asked if i was leaving for work so early i said No no work going to get epidural shot in my back she knows of my back problem so she is use to that. Yup did not tell her.. Unfortunately i didn't get the sleeve done cause my band had slipped and doc said that he wanted to let my stomache heal cause it was bruised and too close to my esophogus. so im scheduled for May 24 for the sleeve. he did take the band out. so just healing now.. sooooooo i already told my mom im going back may 24the for another set of shots and this time i might stay over. lololol whatever works. i usually tell her after i do things like liposuction, the band ect.. because again i did my research im very comfortable with my decision and my hubby is my support no matter what i do.. Where do you live. do you have friends that can come and get you. is there a bariatric group that you go to maybe someone there can help you out. if not girlll get in a cab and go home...dont sweat it.

Im in Rockland County NY if you are around let me know.

oh you got it done whoohoooo. and you live in Cali lol too far from me. CONGRATULATIONS PRETTY LADY..

This is a great community. They have a lot of great tips and support no matter what kind of WLS you decide.

Congratulations on your determination with or without familial support.

Please know many care and keep posting!

As for a ride home I had gotten in contact with a distant relative I can't rely on my mom especially after what she just did to me. She went through my mail at my grandparents house where Im staying until after my surgery whe n I'm able to finish moving into my apartment and stole my new debit card and somehow activated it and spent some of my money. I was able to catch it before she spent too much money and had the card locked. I can't believe she would do this while I'm in the hospital.

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As for a ride home I had gotten in contact with a distant relative I can't rely on my mom especially after what she just did to me. She went through my mail at my grandparents house where Im staying until after my surgery whe n I'm able to finish moving into my apartment and stole my new debit card and somehow activated it and spent some of my money. I was able to catch it before she spent too much money and had the card locked. I can't believe she would do this while I'm in the hospital.

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That is horrible! I hope you press charges on her. People that would steal from their own family (especially when they're incapacitated and in the hospital for surgery) are just awful and you don't need someone that hateful and selfish in your life. Cut her off, and file a police report as soon as you can.

So glad everything went well. I am still doing my tests I need, before I am approved. I have 3 of my 6 nutrition visits completed and almost all required testing. I wish there was a way around me having to do 6 months of supervised weigh-ins. As for your mom...I am really suggesting for your own good you cut her out of your life, at least until she is ready to get her life together. I would not report her to the police if she were my mom, as I get the feeling you won't do either. However, you really need to make a decision if you want to be successful, and that is...Are you going to start putting yourself first? It appears by having this surgery you are already taking control, sometimes it just takes baby steps but you will get there. Best of luck!

Wow! Your mom stole your debit card!

So sorry you are dealing with that.

It's time for you to focus on yourself.

As for a ride home I had gotten in contact with a distant relative I can't rely on my mom especially after what she just did to me. She went through my mail at my grandparents house where Im staying until after my surgery whe n I'm able to finish moving into my apartment and stole my new debit card and somehow activated it and spent some of my money. I was able to catch it before she spent too much money and had the card locked. I can't believe she would do this while I'm in the hospital.

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I am so sorry.

It is probably more hassle than you have the energy to deal with right now, but you might want to consider reporting the theft to the police. That is theft, and depending on how much she spent, could be pretty serious.

I definitely recommend that you find a good counselor and do everything you can to put some distance between you and your mom. She sounds really toxic.

You do not need someone like that in your life, especially as you recover from surgery.

@@crazygoose Wow! is all I can say. I am so glad you're doing so good after surgery......and I just want to add that you are a ROCK STAR for being able to deal with everything you're dealing with!!! This weight loss thing will be a piece of cake for you!

I can't imagine any of my family members acting like you've described......You need to stay as far away as possible. I wish you the best of luck and keep up the good work.

Thanks everyone! I'm at my grandparent's house and feeling great physically. My grandpa is slowly coming around he still believes I will get sick but it just gives me incentive to take good care of myself and prove him wrong. I haven't had to take pain meds since two nights ago and the biggest fear I had was that I'd feel pain after surgery and it's just not the case. I definitely feel my sleeve though when I eat and drink. I'm used to eating/drinking fast and the sleeve definitely let's me know when I'm doing it too fast. As for my mom I'm going to cut her out of my life for a bit. I just can't deal with her she has no remorse and then turns around and blames me so I am done I'm going to move forward as if she is dead until she gets her life together.

Im Glad everthing is working out for you your going to do great with your sugery Keep Your Head Up!

Wow! Crazy goose this is fantastic. Keep up the good work on you.

Great to hear your family is being more positive.

Great work! I wonder if your mom is aware that going through (and opening) your mail is a felony?