This is supposed to be an exciting time of my life, I just got my own place Friday and I'm still in the process of moving in and then my gastric sleeve gastrectomy is set for tomorrow and so I'm under a lot of stress as it is. I was confident about the surgery yesterday and was still confident today until my grandpa called me this morning and told me that his friend had died from having weight loss surgery and that I should listen to him and not get it or at least postpone it.

Now his friend already had the surgery a while back and lost a lot of weight but he died two days ago. My grandpa claims it's from the weight loss surgery but I'm not sure he knows that for sure. I mean the guy could've had preexisting medical problems, he was in his early 50's as far as I'm concerned he could've died from anything. Am I scared? No. Do I know there's a possibility that I could die? Yes. Am I afraid of dying? No. I talked to a nurse who had a gastric bypass and she reassured me that my surgeon has yet to lose a patient. So I still want the surgery but now it's like I have no joy about it anymore, just opposition from my family and stress. My grandpa also said that if I get sick or need to go to the hospital or anything not to call him for help. I just don't get it.

Then my mom keeps playing games with me. I asked her weeks ago if she would take me to get the surgery and she said she would and to just remind her and keep reminding her so that I don't just spring it up on her at the very last minute and to constantly remind her all the way up until the surgery. Well I've been doing that and then she gets mad and says that I keep asking her the same questions too much. She has started playing games saying she's not going to take me after all. I know she isn't just saying that, she has flaked out on me before. So now it looks like I'm taking the bus tomorrow. I don't know how I will get home but I'll worry about it when it's time to leave the hospital. I'm just so sad that complete strangers like everyone here at bariatricpal, the guy at the grocery store, even the guy at GNC have been so supportive and helpful but I just can't get that from my family.

Edited April 6, 201610 yr by crazygoose

Thank you all for your kind words and support. It really means a lot to me. Tomorrow the plan is to wake up at 4:30am and call my mom at 5am and see if she will follow through. If not I will catch the 5:30 bus and I should be at the hospital before 7 and check in is at 7:30am. I should've been asleep by now but I have been very busy tonight getting ready for tomorrow. Anyways I'm going to bed now. Goodnight everyone and see you on the losers bench!

Best of luck with your surgery.

If it turns out that your family doesn't come through for you, know that we are rooting for you.

Be sure and let the hospital's patient advocate or social worker know if you need help getting home. They may have a solution.

Best of luck and keep us posted on how you are doing.

As I've said before "none of us are getting out of here alive!"

I can assure you that obesity will surely KILL US before we reach our God given day.

I can also assure you that of all the surgeries I've had (3), VSG was the quickest and least traumatic. I was in and out in under an hour. I was joking and watching the food Channel that night.

It really should be available to anyone with BMI over 30. You are truly blessed to have the opportunity for this life saving surgery.

PS: My mother and my wife both tried to talk me out of it pre opt. Both now concede they were wrong!

Crazygoose GOOD LUCK TODAY! Hope everything goes smoothly for you.

You have an army of people here from all over the globe to keep you company and cheer you on! You are going to be just fine and well on your way to a new you!

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Good luck today! I know everything will go well.

As far as your grandpa's friend dying... was he going to his checkups? taking his Vitamins? eating properly? Getting enough Water? After WLS you have to be vigilant and diligent about these things.

They'll feel differently about it all when they see your success.

@@crazygoose

Good Luck today! I am sure you are all checked into the hospital now getting ready to go in for surgery! We are all here waiting for an update once you feel up to it.

@@crazygoose - we have your designated seat ready <patting losers bench> and the bench is realllllllyyyyy long but look for the sign and the balloons <points to sign reading "Happy Re-Birthday Crazygoose!" >

We are HERE, waiting for you to tell us your plans to get home safely and who is your POC if you need something.

your BP sister,

Jane13

I am sure you are now at the hospital all ready to go! This is the best decision you could have made for yourself. You are young and have the rest of your life ahead of you living it much healthier!! You will do great, don't let any of the nay-sayers get to you. If your family isn't supportive, well to heck with them, stayed tuned here for all of your needs! PM anyone of us for anwers to anything you need, YOU GOT THIS!!!

It is no secret around here that weight loss surgery reveals the raw dynamics of your relationships. You are finding out already who will support you through tough times and who is blowing smoke.

People die for a lot of reasons. Those of us who get the surgery could have died from any of our obesity related conditions. I had a stroke, which was my "final straw". If I had had another stroke after surgery (or during) I don't think my family could have blamed it on the surgery.

My sleeve was my 12th surgery (including 2 c-sections and gallbladder removal way back when they still cut you half in two) and I am telling you, it was the least painful and had the easiest recovery.

You are probably going to have a lousy first week as far as nausea and trying to get in your fluids and Protein, but you will adjust with or without their help. They can't un-do your surgery, so the satisfaction will be all yours as the pounds come off.

You may have to hire a driver to get yourself home, but keep coming here for moral support and let us know how you are doing. Hugs from Miss Mac.

One of my dearest lifelong friends and her husband both died in their 30s after gastric bypass because their lives became very stressful after surgery (which was unrelated to their surgery). They both became raging alcoholics because they could no longer overeat in they way they previously would to cope with their stressors (not specifically related to surgery) so they turned to alcohol and quickly became very addicted (very indirectly related to surgery as they had absorption changes with GBS). Their surgeries affected their bodies in ways that accelerated their deaths, but their deaths were caused by choices they made that were completely unrelated to their surgeries. Anyway, all of that to say that the jump from the surgeries to their deaths is not a big one to make, but at the core, the two things are entirely unrelated, and it's probably the same with your granddad's friend. I'll admit watching them on the downhill slide made me nervous about going under the knife myself, but even moreso, it made me respect the process and while-person healing that happens after surgery. Though I drink socially, their experiences make me respect the power alcohol can have on a transformed body, and it makes me aware that healthier coping habits are VITAL on this side of the knife. I loved and I miss my friends, and I wish things would've been different for them, but I am SO thankful for the health and vitality I now have as a result of my own weight loss surgery.

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Edited April 6, 201610 yr by VSG AJH

@crazygoose. Hope your surgery went well!! Just wanted to let you know that if you can't get a ride home from the hospital, many hospitals have free cab vouchers that they will give out to those who don't have rides home.

I am a nursing administrator at a hospital and we give out tons of cab vouchers on a regular basis. That way at least it's free and you get a ride home.

Hang in there and take care of yourself!!

Hope all has gone well for your surgery. Best wishes coming your way from Wales uk

One of my dearest lifelong friends and her husband both died in their 30s after gastric bypass because their lives became very stressful after surgery (which was unrelated to their surgery). They both became raging alcoholics because they could no longer overeat in they way they previously would to cope with their stressors (not specifically related to surgery) so they turned to alcohol and quickly became very addicted (very indirectly related to surgery as they had absorption changes with GBS). Their surgeries affected their bodies in ways that accelerated their deaths, but their deaths were caused by choices they made that were completely unrelated to their surgeries. Anyway, all of that to say that the jump from the surgeries to their deaths is not a big one to make, but at the core, the two things are entirely unrelated, and it's probably the same with your granddad's friend. I'll admit watching them on the downhill slide made me nervous about going under the knife myself, but even moreso, it made me respect the process and while-person healing that happens after surgery. Though I drink socially, their experiences make me respect the power alcohol can have on a transformed body, and it makes me aware that healthier coping habits are VITAL on this side of the knife. I loved and I miss my friends, and I wish things would've been different for them, but I am SO thankful for the health and vitality I now have as a result of my own weight loss surgery.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

My condolences. Did your friends death help you to choose the VSG vs the Bypass?

When I told my parents and 18 year-old daughter I wanted to the WLS they were all against it. My daughter has come around b/c she sees the struggles and pain it brings me, but my parents don't want anything to do with it. My dad had her heart attack when he was my age (38) and he is a health fanatic. I've been losing weight since the beginning of my journey but everyday he says "see you can do alone, you don't need surgery". That was never my issue, yes I lost the weight but it always came back plus more. Now I just avoid them but the back of mind I tend to ask myself if this is the right thing. I have switched from Sleeve to Bypass several times. We know 3 ppl that died after they had Bypass, not sure if it was surgery related. I just find myself doubting myself and terrified I'm making the wrong decision. I know I want the WLS just sure which one. I even get dreams b/c if something goes wrong they will be the first to say something. Since then I've been pretty secretive about the whole ordeal. No one knows but my sister and daughter.

@@crazygoose - You are in our thoughts and prayers. Please let us know how you are doing.

pam

if Grandpa's friend had weight loss surgery some time ago, I doubt he died from complications from weight loss surgery. they have perfected the surgeries so much today. things are done less invasive and they make sure you are doing well before you go home. If nothing else contact a nursing service, ask at the hospital for a agency that might provide you transportation and help at home. I live in Florida or I would come and help. It's important for you to not stress, follow your Dr's instructions and think how wonderful you are going to feel when you have lost weight and gotten healthy. It was the best thing I have ever done, at age 66 I was heading for major health issues when I made the decision to take control. Best of luck to you honey and please let us know how you are doing. If you have any questions there are tons of people here who have been there, done that. You will be in my prayers.