I feel like I'm not doing the right thing

[sallo 56]

Hi all,

I had GB on Feb 10th & have lost around 9 kilos since.

I'm realising despite the loss, I'm really not contributing much. I barely exercise, I don't measure my portions anymore, I don't journal anything (I wasn't told to by any of my team), I'm able to gulp liquids down & I succumbed to chocolate & a smalllll bit of cheesecake. I'm worried this is all going to eventually bite me on the ass.

I have been feeling emotionally out of sorts lately, so perhaps that's a factor. I also don't want to train too hard & lose weight so quickly that my skin suffers. I know that I should walk every day, but my head says why bother, I'll lose weight anyway. This won't always be the case...I should be blasting through this period for maximum results.

Can anyone else relate?

[miiasan 370]

Well, I think you probably have an accurate picture of where you are. I think the discipline of measuring out our foods and making sure we have the proper amount of Protein, fluids, Vitamins, etc. is a good discipline to have because it will serve us the rest of our lives. While it may be true that you will lose no matter what you do right now, you are probably developing habits that will 'bite you in the butt' down the road. As many say - the surgery is only a tool - it gives us a way to lose the extra pounds without having to experience the hunger pains, etc. Essentially, it allows us to 'reset' our minds and bodies into a healthier way of living.

I have a friend who had surgery and now only two years later has gained all her weight back. She told me that it was because she took the surgery and weight loss for granted and slowly slipped back into the habits she had before the surgery.

You are not that far out from your surgery, so you have a choice every day of how you are going to live this out. The surgery IS just a tool - how you use it is totally up to you.

I am 5 months out from surgery. Every day I have decisions to make. I find it easier for me to plan my meals - my exercise for the day. I also use this forum, a support group, and some self discipline to keep me accountable. I know that I have a short amount of time granted by the surgery to lose all my excess weight. For me, the benefits of doing so far outweigh the discipline it takes to avoid the foods I shouldn't eat and to exercise on a daily basis.

I understand emotional stuff. My husband just finished up 8 months of chemo and we will find out next month if he has gone into remission. I had my surgery right in the midst of that and had to find ways to adhere to the diet, etc while traveling almost 100 miles back and forth to his treatments. I found a way to make it work; I find a way each and every day. Sometimes you have to deal with things that way. I think, also, that some emotional stuff does come along with this surgery. I remember days when all I wanted to do was cry. Find someone to talk with who will allow you to lean on them and will give you the support that you need. Do some stuff just for yourself; actually taking walks help to clear the mind and has the added benefit of making you feel so much better.

Start out small. Set small goals like: today I am going to start logging every bite I eat and drink so I know what is going into my body. Then perhaps after you have that down: Today I am going to walk for 10 minutes, 20 minutes, then 30 minutes... etc. You can do this! You made the decision to have this surgery for some reason. Remember that each and every day - use that for motivation.

Good luck to you in your weight loss journey!

[MozzaWehsha 58]

Many of us need sometime to work out the issues and habits that got us here in the first place. But trying small steps everyday will help you change where you are going. I was a big emotional eater, and right now I am on softish solid food. Even though I can eat many things, I make it a point to eat mainly for my skin and hair. I focus everyday that I drink plenty of Water so that I don't get dehydrated and also helps with maintaining a healthy approach.

You don't have to exercise hard, you can take a 30 minute walk everyday, or do 3 reps of pushups and but lifts. These will help tone your muscles as well as keep the circulation moving. Minor exercise won't cause significant weight loss. I often do pushups right after I brush my teeth in the morning, right there in the bathroom.

The operation is not a magic bullet, the most work is mentally. Talk to yourself, address the real need to eat cheesecake, and use the first year as a gift to speed up your weight loss, as after the first year it slows down and ur tummy grows to accommodate more.

Good luck dear,

[Pedro Valle-Inclan 275]

Thanks for the post and for starting an important topic. I think you received an absolutely awesome response from Miiasan, really so thorough and informative, not to mention compassionate.

I think it's telling that I live in a small New England town, and that of the relatively small amount of people I know in my life, I know around 4 people who have had Bariatric surgery, and that TWO of those four have gained ALL their weight back. What that tells me is that the operation is getting incredibly common in an extremely over weight society but also that too many people are not meeting the surgery half way... That is, as Miiasan explained, it is simply a powerful behavior modification tool, but we really have to change, to do our part or it simply will not work; sure, we'll lose weight initially but then if we haven't made the appropriate changes to ourselves we'll end up morbidly obese again. I don't want that to happen and I know you don't either; God knows we've cried, let's take this opportunity to laugh in the sun together!! We can do this.

[Djmohr 6,965]

@@sallo

Time for honesty here.....I honestly cannot relate. I was one of those people who was sick with several comorbitities and wanted this surgery so bad that I cried when I found out I had to wait 6 months to get it.

During that 6 months I worked on building good habits like documenting everything I put in my mouth good or bad. Adhering to a higher Protein, low carb diet. Eating my food slowly and chewing like crazy.

When my surgery was delayed because someone screwed up sending in my paperwork I cried for a whole day.

When I was 6 months post op I learned I would need a 3 level cervical spinal fusion. At the time I had been exercising an hour every day doing cardio. I was terrified that I would stop losing weight because I knew my recovery would be a long one.

I also knew that I would have to really be careful about my food choices knowing I would have a lack of exercise and my honeymoon period would be coming to a close.

Since that time I have had 2 more surgeries on my spine and shoulder.

I had to really stick to the plan and walk because that is all I really can do for myself.

I thank god every single day for the nurses and doctors that gave me this great tool. I refuse to squander my chance at a normal healthier size.

Well, yesterday, 18 months post op, I reached my ideal weight goal. It took me longer and I have to work hard every single day.

Please realize that you are already self sabotaging yourself. Why are you wasting your chance to become healthier. I promise, all the change is well worth it.

I am glad I cannot relate to you at this point. I really would like you to see this as a great opportunity instead of a give me. It really will bite you in the ass later. I know many who have gained all or most of their weight back and those people never really got on or followed the plan.

Best of luck to you.

[jnt1 37]

Hi all,

I had GB on Feb 10th & have lost around 9 kilos since.

I'm realising despite the loss, I'm really not contributing much. I barely exercise, I don't measure my portions anymore, I don't journal anything (I wasn't told to by any of my team), I'm able to gulp liquids down & I succumbed to chocolate & a smalllll bit of cheesecake. I'm worried this is all going to eventually bite me on the ass.

I have been feeling emotionally out of sorts lately, so perhaps that's a factor. I also don't want to train too hard & lose weight so quickly that my skin suffers. I know that I should walk every day, but my head says why bother, I'll lose weight anyway. This won't always be the case...I should be blasting through this period for maximum results.

Can anyone else relate?

Its so good to finally read a comment using kilos! Every post i read i have to convert all the time from pounds to kilos. It would be great if the US used the same weight measurements as the other 6.5 billion people in the world ????

9 kilos since your surgery sounds like a result to be proud of!

It's a big step to have the surgery, so dont beat yourself up about a bite of cheescake. Just remember before surgery you would have had a whole piece of cheesecake and maybe seconds? !

It is never to late to 'get back on track' and start recording your intake and getting exercise....you've had your recovery time so now its time to get to work on the job of losing weight.

Good luck with your journey, and just dont beat yourself up for slip ups along the way!

Sent from my GT-I9505 using the BariatricPal App

[talking mountain 26]

In the first month after my surgery, I tried a bite of pancake with sugar-free syrup... a nibble of chocolate... a sip of a diet carbonated beverage... half an Oreo... well you get the picture. I was fortunate enough to have a "rumbly tummy" immediately so that told me they were not good choices. But they didn't make me truly sick.

But more importantly, after about 2 months I realized "hey... if I don't use this time to lose my taste for junk food, then I'm going to be faced with cravings forever... and probably gain back the weight I lost." So I've intentionally stopped "tasting" things that I used to like. I've found wonderful replacements, now that I've actually tried to. Moist, dried apricots or dried plums for the sweet tooth. A date stuffed w/nut butter for the candy bar craving. Celery with a little dip, or popcorn with a spritz of soy sauce & sprinkle of brewers yeast for the "salty crunchies" craving.

To be honest it sounds like you might be a little depressed, though. And that's totally understandable; your body has been through an enormous trauma. Plus, if food was a favorite coping mechanism for stress etc, well obviously that's gone too!

Walking, especially outside in the sunshine, can be an enormous help for depression (shoot for a short walk in the a.m. and another one at lunch or mid-day. Even if it's just 5 minutes!). Also sticking to a regular wake/sleep cycle is super beneficial. If that's not enough, though, please don't hesitate call your program to see about counseling and/or an antidepressant... you will want to nip this in the bud, before your "honeymoon" is over!

[Pinkgirl1234 761]

I stop journaling and I eyeball.The difference is I am very strict.No sugar...Paleo type diet.I am losing slow but steady...and no dumping etc.

High Protein low carb is the way to go.Slow and steady.

[Pedro Valle-Inclan 275]

Amen to that, Oh Pink One!! Yeah, 50 days post-op and I still measure and journal everything carefully.

But the hope is that I'll develop a strong sense of portions and get away from that crap; I realize how incredibly easy it is to

mis judge and eat a ton more than we think we eat.

But yeah, heavy Protein always first in meal, chewing at least twenty chews (hell of a feat with Apple sauce!!!). waiting a minute between

bites, it is the polar opposite of how I ate my whole life.

[sallo 56]

I'd like to thank you all for your observations & advice.

I've started to log my fluid/fluid intake and started to go walking around the neighborhood. I'm feeling much better for making an effort to contribute to this weight loss journey.

I definitely have some mental hurdles to overcome....I still crave my trigger sweet foods and I feel guilty for having surgery and taking the 'easy way out'. I know having the surgery was the best decision for my health, but it's going to take a while to 'forgive' myself for not losing the old fashioned way. I don't want to waste this gift though, and I'll try my hardest to do the right thing.

Thanks again everyone, it means a lot x

[LisaMergs 2,854]

Oh sweetheart- this is ANYTHING but an easy way out! Yesterday, a GB friend told me about a woman she met at the gym. Lady had noticed my friend had lost a significant amount of weight. Asked her how. My friend told her she had GB and the woman's reply? Oh, I've lost the same amount but I did it the HARD OLD FASHIONED WAY.

Ha! There is nothing easy about recovering from surgery. There is nothing easy about eating 4 oz per meal and needing to take a half hour to do so. There is nothing easy about trying a new food and find yourself having a dumping reaction to it. We could go on and on.

There are simply people that no matter what the weight won't come off. There is a genetic predisposition to becoming obese for many and a metabolism that won't cooperate. Having surgery and the tool simply, in my opinion, puts you on par with those whose metabolism is highly functional. Evens the playing field so to speak. But certainly there is nothing easy about it. Be proud of your decision. Embrace it. Use it and quit finding excuses for it to fail. Good luck!!!!!

[Sally85 1]

Sallo I feel like you are speaking for me! I had my surgery on February 1 and it has been a struggle, I am working toward goal and have a lot of success and some failures, I find myself having to hit re-set often. It took a few weeks before I realized that my mental game had to drastically change. It takes so much discipline, time and focus and I too, struggle with impostor syndrome, feeling like I took the easy way out, sabotaging myself because I couldn't do it the old fashioned way.

Before this I really hated support groups and thought the whole idea was a little too touchy feeley but I have to admit support groups and sites like these have really helped me. Therapy has helped me to find coping tools and strategies to cope with the really bad days.

[talking mountain 26]

Sallo, I'm glad to see you are making progress! Keep up the good work.

I felt shame for the first month or so for "taking the easy way out". But as time has gone on, it's clear to me now that this surgery is not the "easy way out" in any way. It's hard work to watch what you eat constantly, separate food from liquid, take tons of Vitamins daily, etc etc.

Forgive yourself for putting your health ahead of your (and perhaps others') perception that you "should" have been able to lose weight with diet alone. Your health was worth it! Surgery was a last resort, and now you have the opportunity to make it count!

[jenbailey72 29]

Well, I think you probably have an accurate picture of where you are. I think the discipline of measuring out our foods and making sure we have the proper amount of Protein, fluids, Vitamins, etc. is a good discipline to have because it will serve us the rest of our lives. While it may be true that you will lose no matter what you do right now, you are probably developing habits that will 'bite you in the butt' down the road. As many say - the surgery is only a tool - it gives us a way to lose the extra pounds without having to experience the hunger pains, etc. Essentially, it allows us to 'reset' our minds and bodies into a healthier way of living.

I have a friend who had surgery and now only two years later has gained all her weight back. She told me that it was because she took the surgery and weight loss for granted and slowly slipped back into the habits she had before the surgery.

You are not that far out from your surgery, so you have a choice every day of how you are going to live this out. The surgery IS just a tool - how you use it is totally up to you.

I am 5 months out from surgery. Every day I have decisions to make. I find it easier for me to plan my meals - my exercise for the day. I also use this forum, a support group, and some self discipline to keep me accountable. I know that I have a short amount of time granted by the surgery to lose all my excess weight. For me, the benefits of doing so far outweigh the discipline it takes to avoid the foods I shouldn't eat and to exercise on a daily basis.

I understand emotional stuff. My husband just finished up 8 months of chemo and we will find out next month if he has gone into remission. I had my surgery right in the midst of that and had to find ways to adhere to the diet, etc while traveling almost 100 miles back and forth to his treatments. I found a way to make it work; I find a way each and every day. Sometimes you have to deal with things that way. I think, also, that some emotional stuff does come along with this surgery. I remember days when all I wanted to do was cry. Find someone to talk with who will allow you to lean on them and will give you the support that you need. Do some stuff just for yourself; actually taking walks help to clear the mind and has the added benefit of making you feel so much better.

Start out small. Set small goals like: today I am going to start logging every bite I eat and drink so I know what is going into my body. Then perhaps after you have that down: Today I am going to walk for 10 minutes, 20 minutes, then 30 minutes... etc. You can do this! You made the decision to have this surgery for some reason. Remember that each and every day - use that for motivation.

Good luck to you in your weight loss journey!

Thank you so much for the encouragement because I too have lost focus just 4 1/2 months out. Don't want to slip into old habits again.

Sent from my SM-N900V using the BariatricPal App