I vented my frustration and now I'm letting go but since I cannot delete a post this Will just have to stay here

Edited January 18, 201610 yr by g8edgrl

What was your BMI when you had it done, I only ask because mine was low (29)..

Something around 30 ish I never read into it too much because I never really wanted it to happen at all. Lol but I'm a sleever now if I like it or not.

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Did the insurance pay for it ?

I am sorry you are dealing with this issue, and sorry that you don't want to be among us who have had the sleeve because they need it.

It is important for you to take control of your experience. This forum is a good start. There is tons of information about what has happened as well as how to proceed from here. Specifically regarding what you should be eating at this phase. I am truly sorry this happened to you without your consent, well mostly without your consent, as you did go along with it. Please own your responsibility in this.

Therapy is a good idea too as others have mentioned. You have to find the voice to stand up to your mother and mean it. This experience is a way to take control of your own life. Start by weighing yourself, find out where you are just to write down somewhere.

Also, there are tons of people that say they wish they had gotten the sleeve before things got out of hand. You have that benefit, though it may not seem like it now. You will get to the point where you can eat what you want. However, this process could be major learning experience for you.

You have to move forward. Your plan to teach your mom a lesson backfired...now what? I am glad you are able to at least be light about it and laugh. You might even like it.

I am sorry you are dealing with this issue, and sorry that you don't want to be among us who have had the sleeve because they need it.

It is important for you to take control of your experience. This forum is a good start. There is tons of information about what has happened as well as how to proceed from here. Specifically regarding what you should be eating at this phase. I am truly sorry this happened to you without your consent, well mostly without your consent, as you did go along with it. Please own your responsibility in this.

Therapy is a good idea too as others have mentioned. You have to find the voice to stand up to your mother and mean it. This experience is a way to take control of your own life. Start by weighing yourself, find out where you are just to write down somewhere.

Also, there are tons of people that say they wish they had gotten the sleeve before things got out of hand. You have that benefit, though it may not seem like it now. You will get to the point where you can eat what you want. However, this process could be major learning experience for you.

You have to move forward. Your plan to teach your mom a lesson backfired...now what? I am glad you are able to at least be light about it and laugh. You might even like it.

I am taking my piece of responsibility. I realize I shouldn't have signed those papers. And I did a few times tell her up front hey lady I'm scared and don't want this at all. She thought I was simply joking so I just thought I would be able to back out. And your right it totally back fired and your right maybe I'll love it. I'm trying to be light and positive. My high school years I wasn't so much. But life is too short. That's why I'm writing my story here. Where no one knows me or my family and it just feels good to get out. Cause I've been sitting. Here so mad for five days. She knows how upset I am with her. I think she may finally have backed off completely as long as it means I might be able to actually get long and hang out with my mom then I can't say it's a horribly bad thing.

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I wonder how they got you approved, with a low BMI

I am sorry you are dealing with this issue, and sorry that you don't want to be among us who have had the sleeve because they need it.

It is important for you to take control of your experience. This forum is a good start. There is tons of information about what has happened as well as how to proceed from here. Specifically regarding what you should be eating at this phase. I am truly sorry this happened to you without your consent, well mostly without your consent, as you did go along with it. Please own your responsibility in this.

Therapy is a good idea too as others have mentioned. You have to find the voice to stand up to your mother and mean it. This experience is a way to take control of your own life. Start by weighing yourself, find out where you are just to write down somewhere.

Also, there are tons of people that say they wish they had gotten the sleeve before things got out of hand. You have that benefit, though it may not seem like it now. You will get to the point where you can eat what you want. However, this process could be major learning experience for you.

You have to move forward. Your plan to teach your mom a lesson backfired...now what? I am glad you are able to at least be light about it and laugh. You might even like it.

I am taking my piece of responsibility. I realize I shouldn't have signed those papers. And I did a few times tell her up front hey lady I'm scared and don't want this at all. She thought I was simply joking so I just thought I would be able to back out. And your right it totally back fired and your right maybe I'll love it. I'm trying to be light and positive. My high school years I wasn't so much. But life is too short. That's why I'm writing my story here. Where no one knows me or my family and it just feels good to get out. Cause I've been sitting. Here so mad for five days. She knows how upset I am with her. I think she may finally have backed off completely as long as it means I might be able to actually get long and hang out with my mom then I can't say it's a horribly bad thing.

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I definitely applaud you coming here. And you absolutely should share your story because we are here to support you on this journey, even if how you got here was not by choice. It is a great place to sort out your frustrations, as well as learn a lot. Even if you hate it we are still here to help you through. I am pretty early in my journey, just over 2 months out. And forgive me if I sounded harsh, that was not my attention. As a therapist myself, my heart definitely goes out to you. Your actions show that you love your mother and would do anything for her, to be able to spend time with her. I hope you get many more of those opportunities to bond with her.

Take care!

i totally am not buying a story where someone says they had this surgery against their will and have no idea what was done to them.

Sorry this doesnt pass the sniff test.

Im out, peace, I hope you get your head fixed.

I have never heard a story like this! I am a mother of 2 young adults and I can't fathom them wearing a sweater I bought they didn't like much less have MAJOR PERMANENT LIFE CHANGING surgery against their will.

There are so many things to say I don't know where to start.... first I am sorry you find yourself in this situation. It is so important to get educated, because let me assure you, it is quite possible to regain that weight down the road even post sleeve. It is your life, but that would be a lose-lose situation for you and your mom.

I can't help but feel the toxic nature of all this. What will happen if you marry a man she doesn't care for, or your future children or career or whatever needs "fine tuning"? Heaven forbid, what if your future child is a bit heavy??? A few years down the road, living with a sleeved tummy will be easy peasy.....but will this ever end? I know you love each other, but this is one of the strangest things I have heard in a long time.

I'm curious to know how you did with the psych evaluation, I thought this would have all come out then. Also I'm not sure if you would have met the criteria with a 29 BMI,leads me to wonder if the doctor submitted in accurate information to get you approved, fraud

When I used to moderate forums (not here), deleting your opening post after others posted was grounds for being banned. Just sayin'.

Since you deleted your original post, I don't have a ton to go on, however a big part of life is learning how to take responsibility for your actions when they don't work out the way you want them to. You are 21 years old, you went to the hospital, you sat on that bed, you let them give you an IV, and you let them roll you into surgery, so while I can completely appreciate that your mother heavily pushed for the surgery, in the end you chose to have the surgery by not removing yourself from the situation. The sooner you accept your decision as your own, that maybe you aren't happy with it right now but that you are an empowered adult who will handle the consequences of your decisions like an adult, the better off you will be, not just in terms of the sleeve but in all of life.

When I was 24 I was forced into something...or that was the word I used with myself for a long time. It was only when I accepted responsibility for my decisions, for putting myself into the position, for not saying no, for not walking away, for not doing what I knew would have been the better decision that entire night, the sooner I was able to move forward in life. Blaming others for your own failures in decision making allows you to be a victim, the martyred little girl who couldn't stand up to her mommy and walk away from surgery. You know who hates a victim more than everyone who has to hear them complain? The victim. She hates herself more than anything else and the sooner she accepts that she isn't a victim, that she is accountable for her actions, and that she is going to move on with the understanding that she made a choice that put her in a bad situation but she is going to live with it and learn from it, the sooner she develops the internal locus of control that is absolutely vital to success in life.

So, I know this makes me sound like a jerk, which is why I included my personal story in there so hopefully you would understand that this is tough love and not cruelty. Learn to never be anyone's victim and it will be a lesson that benefits you the rest of your life.

When I used to moderate forums (not here), deleting your opening post after others posted was grounds for being banned. Just sayin'.

I keep saying I'm going to start quoting first posts with my responses. When will I ever learn??

Sorry but my opinion is that OP's story has some holes in it. Wonder how real this is?

When I used to moderate forums (not here), deleting your opening post after others posted was grounds for being banned. Just sayin'.

I keep saying I'm going to start quoting first posts with my responses. When will I ever learn??

I just read the whole thread hoping someone had done that! Dangit. Wish I could hear the whole story.

I just read the responses and didn't see the original post but I gather that you had the sleeve surgery because your mother wanted you to but never intended to go through with it and now don't know what to do? Is that the gist?

Whether or not you wanted it you now have had the surgery. What choice do you have but to accept it and move forward? You need to take control of your health and your recovery.

Did you receive any nutritional counseling? Do you know what your Protein target is? Did you receive a detailed post-op food plan? Do you have a Vitamin schedule?

I recommend you learn as much as you can, make an appointment with your NUT, and find a good therapist.

A few books you may want to read: Alex's Big Book of Gastric Sleeve, Eat it Up! (a book written by a therapist who works with WLS patients), and The Emotional a First Aid Kit (I think that is the title. I haven't read it but have heard really good things about it.) I also recommend you consider reading Melodie Beattie's book entitled The Language of Letting Go. It may help you come to peace with your situation.

We can help you, but it is important you use all of the professional resources available to you.