Kaylee White

Hello, I had a VSG when I was 19... I started the process at 16 after both my parents had (different) weight loss surgeries. I'm 29 now, and I understand my body way differently then I ever could have at 19. I have struggle to get enough protein, water and fiber in to my diet. I'm anemic and I need infusions couple of years. I have chronic GERD I take meds for. I'm on a boat load of meds for depression, anxiety, adhd, ocd... the list kinda goes on in that department. I have food adversions and a narrower list of safe foods. The aversion come from not just the weight loss surgery but my mental state as well. I can't eat fatty foods as much and too much sugar will cause my blood sugar to crash. I avoid foods that aren't the same everytime I eat it. Meat is harder on my stomach then before and I will go for a carb more often then a protein. If I want an orange the likelyhood of me eating one is low because the orange could be gross or the melon could not be right. Therefore the likelyhood of me buying a food goes down dramatically and then actually eating and not having it rot in the fridge are counter are a struggle. I want foods that will be the way I want them to be when I go to eat it. I don't want to waste food. I eat alot of frozen and canned foods or meals. Lots of processed foods because its gonna be what I have always known it to be. It makes trying new things hard. I originally lost 130lbs. When the pandemic hit my emotional eating snuck up on me and since my lowest weight I've gained 75 of thay back. I went from a size 28 to 18 now at 22. Clothes don't fit right and I'm frustrated. I sometimes struggle with "Food Noise" I'm stressed and all I can think about is what to eat and how I shouldn't go get a burger or icecream. Sometimes I even completely forget to eat (especially in the morning). I recently got a new job and it required buying scrubs for the first time. Trying on clothes is my worst nightmare and is sensory overload. I asked my mother to help me figure it out at the store. Which she did, I was very thankful for... but I couldn't avoid another conversation about getting a bypass or going on all the GLP-1s. She tells me I need to see an actual Doctor and my PCP (an F-CNP) isn't right to worry about potential side effects (mostly kidney damage). Recently I've been feeling the effects of the weight gain. It's beginning to bother my feet again, I have sciatica pain now and I'm tired more... I want to enjoy fun events with my friends like RenFaires and comicon but alot of mental energy gets put in to trying to survive an adventure that is supposed to be fun. All this to say... I still had days I didn't feel better about myself 75lbs ago. I still thought I was gross and unattractive. My mother committing on my weight makes me feel worse.. like she never mentions she is concerned about my health... so it feels like all she cares about is how I look. Do I listen to my mom?