So yes.... i have been on this forum for the past 6 years and have posted on a many of things. I have a question.... How many of you have lost the weight, got in shape only to have your spouse now not be interested in you...??

We have been married for almost 25 years. The first 5 i was thin.... then gained weight gradually through out the years. The last 5 have been what i would call "normal" size.

Years before the weight loss we didn't have sex maybe a few times a year. I was kind of ok with that.... I blamed my weight and my lack of interest on my size. He assured me that it was not my size. He got tested for Low T and sure nuff... he now takes Testosterone shots every other week (gives himself RX). This was about the time i started losing weight and things got better. We were having sex a few times a month. At this time he also started working out, tanning, eating right, "grooming".... lol. It was great. I also, happen to think he may have started an affair with an ex GF. I intercepted a text message between them that he would not let me see.... plus i just had the gut feeling. anyway, she and her husband got divorced and she moved..... low and behold he stop EVERY thing... and our sex life went back into the crapper.

Now, im 47 and something clicked in my hormones that has made me a raging Nympho... I wake up thinking about sex.... during the day im thinking about it and at night.... it has to be how a 18 year old boy feels. But i can't get him to have sex with me.... on the 8th it will be 4 months since the last time and that only lasted 10 min... if that.

anyone else experience this?

I don't know what to say about your husband but I am sorry for the loss of your friend.

@@bayougirlmrsc, the signs have been there, you are just noticing them more.

Sorry for your loss.

Thank you all....

Wow - I'm really sorry for your loss... *hugs*

@@OKCPirate - to be honest, I don't know how important it is to me. I'm the only 'female' friend that he is around that really KNOWS him... and I know he's a cheater, a liar, and all those 'bad' boy things... so, I already know in my mind I wouldn't date him, but he can be very persuasive and genuine... My friend sammy is gonna try to help me to say no hopefully I find someone else to be around to where I can tell him no. Then again - he might not even change and I'm overthinking all this.

from a male perspective, hes taking cialis daily? and testosterone shots? and doesnt touch you and isnt interested in sex with you? yeah. Umm . really? if you cant out two and two together, denial aint just a river in egypt.

Ok. There are a LOT of issues here. Sounds like he was or is having an affair. He resents you re finances ("ok if you pay for half" comment). You aren't having sex and there is no honesty (text message) or intimacy in your relationship. You certainly have a lot to think about. You can accept and appreciate the roomate situation and get a good vibrator. You can try to get counseling to take your relationship to the next level (assuming that BOTH of you are willing to try to do what it will take to get you there). You can leave and start over and hope for something better. Being divorced and 45 years old myself, I strongly suggest that you don't make any rash decisions, start therapy for yourself with or without him, and get your finances in order. Health insurance should cover therapy. If you don't have it you need to get it. I would also recommend that you start squirreling away any money that you can, even if its just to pinch an extra $20-$50 off every grocery trip to put into some type of savings, or IRA account in your own name. The dose of Cialis that you mention is the dose for benign protastic hyperplasia rather than the usual dose for ED. Although in early stages it could work for ED if that was an issue. Also keep in mind if he has access to Cialis he could be taking a double dose (ie the ED dose) so that he can have a good time with someone else. Sounds like you need to have several serious conversations with him and with yourself about what will or will not be a dealbreaker for you.

@@Stevehud - right on! I'm with you on that one.

I would add to spend 6 months to a year getting your financial and legal ducks in a row and have the divorce all planned out (and do NOT tip him off of course that you are doing this). I would spend EVERY dime in that joint account paying off credit cards, paying down the mortgage, paying ahead on any other bills that you can. Consult with your lawyer it may be in your best interest to get HIM to move out if you want to stay in the house. Even if you do get divorced and have to sell the house, there are ways to 'drag your feet" on that like not agreeing to listing it for a price you think it would actaully sell for (but rather listing it much higher etc).

WOW! I don't post much on here and haven't been here in a while but I stumbled on your post today. I am having a similar issue with my wife of 18 years. I also am from new Orleans. I had my sleeve april 23rd 2015 and have lost a lot of weight! I also take testosterone weekly but let me tell you this, since all my weight loss and the addition of testosterone injections there is no need at all for Cialis! im not sure what his deal is but id LOVE to have someone want/desire sex! sleep naked? arouse yourself naked next to him and nothing? you are a beautiful woman and have accomplished a lot in your journey. I know the struggle of it because I too accomplished mine, but it would make for a long night if you would do that laying next to me!! no offense please! I just realize how you feel because I too have VERY similar issues. you shouldn't beat yourself up wondering why its happening because it sure as heck isn't your fault!

Edited January 8, 201610 yr by brianbgboy