I had my sleeve surgery on 11/9. Went back to work on the 23rd - tired, a bit sore, but back in to the swing of things. I did pretty good with logging my meals into My Fitness Pal, was walking, etc. Perfect. On the road to recovery. Even the issue with my lung not fully inflating was resolving itself. Life was great. My husband and I sat at the dinner table the night I went back to work and reflected on just how wonderful life was for us. Six happy, healthy kids ranging from 18-28. A beautiful home. Stable careers. And a wonderful family. Who could want more??

The very next day -- last Tuesday -- my oldest son asked me to make a trip up to Connecticut (he lives there with his girlfriend). He had not been feeling well and went for a colonoscopy to potentially diagnose colitis. That was what they expected to find. That's not what they found. Instead, they found a very large tumor in his rectum and were unable to continue the colonoscopy because it was nearly completely blocked. They set him up for a CT Scan for Wednesday and he asked that we come up there because the doctor didn't like what he found. I found out on Wednesday when we got there that he didn't want to tell me they already knew it was a cancerous tumor.

I grabbed Protein shakes, a few waters, and we headed up to CT to be with him for his scan. What we didn't realize was the day before, the doctor already put an entire team in place to meet with us -- including a surgical oncologist, a medical oncologist, and had quite a few tests set up as emergencies. By 1pm, our world had shattered. My seemingly healthy 28 year old son was told that not only was the tumor cancerous, it was already invasive and had progressed to Stage 4 - with lesions on his liver. Five in total. And they're a decent size. His tumor is inoperable right now - as it's too large and invasive and needs to shrink. He's at a high risk for a blockage and that would be devastating. Every ounce of focus has been on him since Wednesday. Back in the hospital on Friday for a chemo port and PET scan. Back to CT yesterday for the PET scan results and his first chemo treatment. Reaching out to other cancer centers for input/validation/etc.

Throughout this ordeal, I crumbled. I think I had 10 calories that day of diagnosis. Thanksgiving was a blur. Then Friday to Monday, I tried. I really tried. But I certainly didn't get anywhere near my protein or liquids in. This morning, I realized I am no good to anyone if I can't get my shit together. I took out my scale and weighed what I thought would be 4oz of my Ricotta Bake (which is heavenly). I was shocked to see it was under an ounce. I've been starving myself this past week with what I thought were "full meals". No wonder I haven't lost any more weight in a week. I'm in starvation mode. So I'm logging stuff back in My Fitness Pal starting today. I've got 2 bottles of Water on my desk. I added Protein powder to my egg this morning. I have to fix myself so I can help fix my son. But how do I keep myself out of this funk? Before surgery, I would have eaten 100 ice cream sundaes in the past week (not really 100, but you get what I'm saying). There is no food therapy anymore. And that's such a strange concept.

Funny how just a week ago, my entire focus was on me, my sleeve, healing, getting healthier. And then we get smacked in the face hard. HARD. Sure makes you realize what matters in life. <3

I'm am so sorry you and your family, especially your son, have to go through this. That is a horrible test on your new life. Keep strong momma ♡

@@Mom26 - still praying. keep us posted.

@@jane13

He had his first of 12 chemo treatments from Monday-Wednesday of this week. Each treatment is 48 hours long. Yesterday was a difficult day for him. His body is beyond exhausted. But today he was back at work and said he felt better than he has in awhile.

Again, thank you all for such kind words, compassion, thoughts, prayers, stories. <3

Did I read this correctly is what I said to myself when I first read it? So I read it again. 48 hours of chemo and he was back at work on Friday. What a COURAGEOUS son you have!! I would be devastated if I had gotten such news at such a young age. May we all gather strength to face our challenges from your son. You raised such an incredible man. My thoughts and prayers go out to him and your whole family.

Thank you all. He is such a strong "kid". I've had my moments of just crumbling -- because to be told your child has, not only cancer, but that it has spread elsewhere is just mind numbing and crushing. But of course I don't let him see that! His girlfriend texted me today saying he had a great weekend. Friends are definitely keeping them busy - which is a huge help. They started an Instagram account of his journey so friends can stay updated. He's absolutely blown away by the enormous amount of love/prayers/support. So many people have reached out to us. It's so heartwarming. I'm so frightened but excited at the same time for January because after 3 rounds, they'll do more scans and see how the chemo is working. We pray the tumor has shrunk by then. If the chemo works properly, we should definitely see results.

His favorite part of Christmas is Christmas Cookies. So we made some for his first round of chemo. I'll bake a different batch for next Monday. And then one more batch after Christmas for his 3rd round. I feel helpless but I'm on the phone with doctors/hospitals or doing research day in and day out. Once we get the January scan results, we'll know which path to take and whether he'll go to Yale, Columbia Presbyterian or Sloan. The unknown and the waiting in limbo are definitely difficult to cope with.

And I suck at dealing with my new sleeve. I know I'm not getting enough liquids in still - but am working at keeping my Protein up. Today is 4 weeks. I was down 20 lbs. - but went back up 2. How, I have no damn idea. Picking up my mom's treadmill today to see if that kick-starts me again. One day at a time.

My prayers are with you and your son. Just keep trying to do the best you can to take care of yourself. It must be incredibly difficult! I pray for good news in January!

Please keep us posted. Praying for your son and your family. It sounds like things are moving forward quickly and he's in good hands. May God bless you!

Continuing to pray for you and your family.

Been thinking about you since your original post. Your son is such a strong man, he clearly takes after his mom. Take it day by day, hour by hour of you have to. The cookie idea is such a sweet touch and in sure he will love it.

I think your handling your sleeve very well!!! Every day won't be perfect. I'm still struggling with my fluids/protein and in going on 3 weeks.

My continued thoughts and prayers to you and your family xo

May God give you, your son, family and friends continual strength, peace and grace.

I am so sorry to hear this devestating news. Keep your water nearby and force those protein shakes. Preferably the pre-mixed kind. Again, I am so very sorry. Share quality time while you can!

I will pray for you and your son. I also received a devastating diagnosis for my 17 year old sona month and half after my surgery. He was diagnosed with vascular Ehler danlo syndrome. He is at risk for brain aneurysm cardiac artery dissection and sudden death. He wasmy biggest supporter going into this. It too is breaking my heart to learn he is so sick. Foods is no longer a comfort for me. I've been too stressed to eat properly. I know we have to keep our mind focused and just pray and have faith that at least they caught this and take it day by day.

Wow, I just saw this thread and cannot imagine how terrifying this is. I'm very impressed your son went back to work after all that chemo! Holy smokes. I hope it's a good distraction for him, and it's wonderful his girlfriend and friends are reaching out to support him and keep him busy.

You're doing great, under the circumstances, and yes, as the mom, you do need to take care of yourself so you can take care of your son. If nothing else, getting healthy will give you more energy to run around and help out.

Thinking of your son, you, and your family. Praying the chemo is successful, and please keep us posted as time permits.

Prayers, prayers, prayers, well wishes, and (((((hugs))))) galore to you and your son. Cancer is so unfair.

Get yourself to your PCP for some xanax or valium! I'm serious- you must manage the stress to avoid ending up in the hospital yourself for malnutrition and/or dehydration. You WILL get through this; be the mother that your baby relies on, the one that is invincible (in his eyes), the one that will hold him tight when he's vomiting and losing his hair.

So sorry to hear about your son. I will be praying for him.

Sent from my SM-N920V using the BariatricPal App

Mom26......thinking of you and your family. A stranger in NJ praying for you all tonight. Big hugs to all!!