Some of you may know my dad had struggled for years with brain stem degeneration ( presents like Parkinson's )

He has been sliding progressively downhill for 7 years. The last four were bed bound. Loss of use of feet , and then hands ...and his mind kept drifting further away My brother and I opted to keep him comfy at home with help.

His fight ended peacefully Monday night. 85 years of love. ????

Wrote his obituary Thursday. Wow one page of a whole life condensed .

Just grief and some relief.

Just sharing.... With cyber friends

I get a fill in 3 weeks and this is a difficult time. I'll keep trying.

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss, he sounds like a wonderful man, and it's comforting that he was able to be home with his family at the end.

Julie I don't know you but be glad in the knowledge that you took care of him,that will be a blessing for you when you look back. Prayers offered for you and your family ( hope this causes no offence) XXX

Deepest condolences Julie.

I know this isn't an easy time for you ( been there ) but just know you have lots of support here. Hugs.

Julie, I am sorry for your loss. My dad had dementia before he developed ALS and died at age 60. I miss him a lot. He died when I was pregnant with my eldest. He would have loved my kids. Both brainy like him. They would have watched Dr. Who together.

Please take care of yourself and listen to your body carefully with your fill. I'm debating a ninth fill right now because hunger isn't staying away longer than three hours and I haven't lost weight in about nine months. I'm getting really frustrated. I'm afraid of overfill because I get stuck occasionally on certain meats or bread if I don't chew to paste.

Anyway, thank you for your post. Sending hugs.

I'm sorry about your dad

Even though you have lost him on this earth he will always be remembered in your heart & mind you were able to take care of him , but you also have to take care of yourself , you will always have memories of him , sorry for your loss .

Dear Julie, sending condolences and lots of cyber-love your way. My Dad is 90 and in a special care unit for dementia patients. I'm an only child but my mother would not consider letting us have him live with us, even though he really did not want to be in a locked unit. I had to fight hard to be able to take him out for car rides and visits to my house, exposure to "normal" life. You and your brother gave your father a wonderful gift. Be gentle and tend to yourself -- one grief often brings up another and you've had such a hard year already losing your husband. Life can be so poignant sometimes. Beautiful, brutal, amazing and agonizing. Hang on to all the happiness.

Sorry for your loss

Thank you for the nice sentiments about Dad...

I realize I mourn the strong able-bodied healthy man he was. ...

Before he was robbed bit by bit of every use of his body. Walking. Toileting. Moving his feet ... Then no use of hands...Then voice.

The ravaged body that was left was not what I think of....

I'm coming to grips that he was so tired and needed to rest????❤️????????????

Sorry for the loss of your Father. I'm sure he is proud and loves you so much.

Thanks again for the condolences

The further I get from surgery ... The more weddings, funerals, parties, vacations. Etc I realize we all have to go thru...

Without our long time coping mechanism of overeating ... Mostly I do well. I credit years of band training

But occasionally ( with my band almost empty). I realize the food monster is still somewhere deep and can come visit.

Looking forward to a fill in three weeks. But having fun on the beach drinking and a bit indulgent on food is a carefree time.

I KNOW this too will pass and in a month or two all will remain the status quo.

That is the difference in long term life changing habits. So happy to know that deep inside????????

@@Julie norton,

I'm just now browsing the band area for the first time and spotted your topic. It strikes a chord for me, as I know the significance of losing parents. The 21st anniversary of my father's death is coming up in a few weeks. This one is looming larger than it does some years.

That you cared for your father at home is important for you and him. It sounds from your last note that you're finding some peace and comfort. I offer condolences and best wishes for continued healing and relishing the good memories and love you shared.

So sorry for your loss. I lost both my parents in my late 20s and 30s. Both times I took care of them for many years with my sister. Know that he appreciated every little thing you did to help him be more comfortable whether conscious or not. It truly is a gift to assist someone going to "the other side" even though it hurts on such a visceral level when they are gone.

Take some time after he goes to his final resting place and take care of yourself. He would want it that way.

My dear Julie I am so sorry for your loss. No words can help your hurting heart. After losing my husband in October I know that he also had a few years of illness and is in a better place now. My prayers to you and your family. You did the best for your Dad.