People's expectations of you...

[tjstark 74]

I haven't felt the need to rant until now! I'm 5 weeks out tomorrow and have lost a considerable amount in that time, but obviously it's not like I've shed 100lbs overnight!

That said, I'm pretty annoyed with family members that seem to think I'm going to drop 100lbs overnight. It's so annoying to hear things like, "Well, you look the same." Really? After just a few weeks? I look the same? No shit, Sherlock.

Further adding to my annoyance, a cousin from out of town came to stay for the weekend. This person has constantly cracked jokes about my weight throughout my life. He says, "You look the same, I thought you were gonna be all slim and shit." After a few weeks??? He then proceeded to make a joke that really hurt: something along the lines of, "Can you guess which one is pregnant?" while pointing to me and my two pregnant relatives. ;/

I feel really angry about this.

[byebyedarkpassenger 203]

I'm so sorry you have to deal with that! I'm hoping that I have headed everyone off at the pass by constantly saying that this is a marathon, not a sprint. So far no one has been disappointed that I haven't become super-slim. But then again it has only been a week. Having said that, I so understand your hurt and frustration. The comments, demeaning as they are, say more about the speaker than about you. I hope you can take some comfort in that. And whatever happened to respect? That cousin of yours needs to grow up in my humble opinion. Would you feel comfortable standing up to him by pointing out that that was disrespectful?

[borg/assimilated 576]

I guess you will have the last laugh when you lose a significant amount of weight after a few months. In the big picture they won't be making those comments about you for much longer.

[kimby1029 119]

If the cousin is in your home, you could give them a nice list of hotels in the area and tell them they are welcome to stay at one of them if they are not going to be respectful to you. There is no excuse to be ugly.

I understand this may seem harsh, but that level of rudeness is unacceptable.

[laguerr13 993]

People for the most part whom act like that are unhappy with the short comings in their life, whether family or friends, your Job right now is to focus on your goals and future, when you do get to shed all the weight, they will focus on other things like you "taking the easy way" and asking if your "sick", I've been very lucky up until now, I lost over 94lbs, most of it since my surgery on June 10th, now I've gotten hurt at work and I can't go to the gym for two weeks, I'm unhappy about the gym thing since I'm very addicted to working out, but I remain unfazed and focused, and plan to start over as soon as I am allowed, BTW: the hardest thing I ever did next to this was years ago when I turned my back on negative family and friends, it hurt me, but in the long run I have very inspiring family and friends that surround me now...... Good luck, you got this!!!!

[goodnuff 239]

B!?@#es be dumb. I've been asked if I'm disappointed in how slowly I'm losing. Until they said that I thought 75 pounds in 5 months was amazing. Oh wait....I still do!!!

So many comebacks for these types of thoughtless comments but it's so hard to think of them when they are needed.

Edited September 2, 2015 by goodnuff

[dancingqueene 182]

I am stunned at others rudeness and disrespect!! Although I shouldn't be as so many people are ignorant, but your story was truly heartbreaking. People who are family are that rude?? I'm not sure what I would do....

it doesn't come on over night and it's not leaving that quickly either.

I am sorry for your experience and I hope it doesn't deter you from the excitement of your journey!! You got this!!

[Elizabeth68 25]

i'm glad you are angry! this means you are not internalizing it. Unfortunately, these are the same types of people who will try to derail you once you lose more weight. They will offer you that extra cookie or ice cream even though they would fat shame you when you were heavier. it's all crazy really.

You are doing amazing for only 5 weeks out and keep up the great work! Don't let the shmucks get you down!

[laguerr13 993]

@@tjstark : see support doesn't always come from those close to you, it comes from the heart, hit me up sometime for some snappy comebacks, I have no filter so I'm very good

[pink dahlia 2,513]

Laguerr13, I loved your comment ! Hilarious and nice support too ! Tjstark, when your rude cousin asked "can you tell which one is pregnant ?" You should of shot back " yes, and I can also tell which one is an asshole ! " Oooops ! Did I say that ? Sorry you have such an idiotic, ignorant , rude relative, but its HIS problem, NOT yours. You just keep doing what you're doing, and tell others to mind their own business ! You got this !!

[glitter eyes 1,398]

You will have the last laugh when you get to your goal weight. Some people are under the stupid impression that our weight magically disappears immediately after surgery.

I had a "friend" say to me when I was four weeks post op. "I thought you would be skinny by now". These people are unhappy and make ignorant statements. I got the last laugh- she is still fat and I am rocking my size 6 pants and a 123 pound weight loss.

Hang in there and don't let the haters get to you. You will be successful!! Good luck and congrats on having your surgery.

[_Kate_ 2,224]

So sorry to hear you have such rude family members.

Remember though, she who laughs last, laughs longest!!

[kseton01 4]

Horrible! Puts stock in the old adage you can choose your friends but you can't choose your family

[Djmohr 6,965]

Ditto on everything everyone said before me! What a a$$hat!

Don't let him get to you, just stay the course. He is likely threatened by you and will soon change his ridicule to something else.

My sister n law is much like this, in the beginning it was all about how fat I was. Now her big thing is I am too skinny! She is definitely threatened by me and I pretty much blow her off which makes me feel better and her feel worse. I cannot change her, only she can do that. I have no problem telling her to mind her business, that I am under a doctors care. Several of them in fact.

Of course I still have 25lbs to go to get to a healthy weight so I am not too skinny.

People who are unhappy like your cousin and my sister n law will do anything to make others unhappy right along with them.

Oh, and yes she is constantly trying to derail me by bringing Cookies and cake for things like my birthday or other family gatherings. It's just plain rude.

I will say sure, I will have a piece and when I get sick I will throw up in your fancy handbag. That usually shuts her up about my not having one.

I don't dump at all but she don't need to know that! LOL!

[Bandora 136]

Sometimes friends and family are the ones that say the most hurtful things.

Try your best to ignore it and keep on plugging along. You will continue to lose and look great. People will either be happy or say backhanded compliments. It really is true that looking good and feeling happy is the best revenge.