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Stupid things people say when they find out you've had surgery....



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I'm pretty open with what I have done. This is MY truth not theirs. I am 4 weeks post-op and still mostly on liquids but I find because I am so positive and hopeful (down 30 lbs) the questions I get are more curious then judgmental. People not knowledgable about bariatric surgery just need a little schooling.

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The only boneheaded comment I've gotten was this:

At 2 weeks post-op, I was talking to a co-worker about my liquid diet and mentioned I had lost 8 lbs. She said, "Only 8 pounds?! I would hope that if I had been on a liquid only diet for 2 weeks I would lose more than that!" This coming from a woman who bounces between a size 2 and 6 and goes on a crash diet before every beach vacation so she can look good in her bikinis!

I feel for everyone who has gotten insensitive comments from people, especially family. I have a long history of my mother being overly critical of me about many things. Luckily, my weight has not really been one of them (probably because others in my family are/have been obese as well).

The only insensitive thing my mother said to me concerning weight was when I would mention something about my weight, and she (at 5'2" and 145 lbs) would chime in with how overweight she was and how much she needed to lose. When I would tell her it's not the same, she would say things like, "I'm shorter than you are." (hmm, really? 2 inches make that big a difference?) and "This is the biggest I've ever been!" (cry me a river!)

Some people just wear me out! <_<

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Oops, forgot one! My 21 year old stepson came over when I was about 2 weeks post op and asked me how much weight I've lost. Comments like this are not uncommon from him, but really??? Must I continue to explain what is okay and what is not now that you are a grown man?

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I guess I've been lucky. I haven't had one rude or insensitive comment and I tell everyone and their brother. Most people have just been curious about what my life is like now.

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I find that EVERYONE is now on a diligent diet since I lost all this weight. My mom, my sister, and people at work are all self conscious about their weight now. I never cared about their weight but apparently they all cared about mine. They feel that they can all do it without surgery. I think that it's all insane. I did the surgery for me.

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Yes, I see a family member dieting now also. I'm taking it as though I inspired him. But it could very well be a little competition going on from his way of thinking. I wish him all the success in the world. But in the end I believe this amazing sleeve gives me a huge advantage and I almost feel a little sorry for him, because I think he still believes it's just a matter of willpower. I now know it is SO much more than that.

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I'm two years out, the other day I was talking to the librarian of the school I work at about having pictures taken. I told him that Before I lost weight I hated having my picture taken, but now I don't mind. He said" what you've lost weight?" I said " 100 pounds !" He said what? "I don't remember you being fat!" I had to say thank you and try not to laugh.

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"You took the easy way out" like are u serious

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Seriously, I've been astounded at a lot of the things people say. Since I had not heard them before, I found it hard to believe that people would be so insensitive. Until this past weekend. At a party, talking to a guy whose name I didn't even know, he kept questioning me about why I wasn't drinking (it was a wine tasting party, and he had seen me tasting at previous parties) so I finally told him, and he said:

"So why don't you just put down the fork?"

:o :angry:

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This older man I saw yesterday doesn't know HOW I lost weight but he complimented me and said I looked great. Then he asked, "Are you still married?" I respond 'yes' with a confused look. Then he says, "Well most people who lose weight and end up looking as good as you leave their spouses." I said, "Well, I don't see what the number on the scale has to do with my wedding vows...But my husband has said people probably wonder why we are together and I tell him they must assume he's filthy rich or very well endowed." That worked. LOL

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I'm pretty open with what I have done. This is MY truth not theirs. I am 4 weeks post-op and still mostly on liquids but I find because I am so positive and hopeful (down 30 lbs) the questions I get are more curious then judgmental. People not knowledgable about bariatric surgery just need a little schooling.

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Exactly.

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My overweight best friend looks at my success and is thinking about getting sleeved. Her question: "so..when can I eat potatoes, breads and gravy again?" I don't think she's ready yet...

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    • Aunty Mamo

      Iʻm roughly 6 weeks post-op this morning and have begun to feel like a normal human, with a normal human body again. I started introducing solid foods and pill forms of medications/supplements a couple of weeks ago and it's really amazing to eat meals with my family again, despite the fact that my portions are so much smaller than theirs. 
      I live on the island of Oʻahu and spend a lot of time in the water- for exercise, for play,  and for spiritual & mental health. The day I had my month out appointment with my surgeon, I packed all my gear in my truck, anticipating his permission to get back in the ocean. The minute I walked out of that hospital I drove straight to the shore and got in that water. Hallelujah! My appointment was at 10 am. I didn't get home until after 5 pm. 
      I'm down 31 pounds since the day of surgery and 47 since my pre-op diet began, with that typical week long stall occurring at three weeks. I'm really starting to see some changes lately- some of my clothing is too big, some fits again. The most drastic changes I notice however are in my face. I've also noticed my endurance and flexibility increasing. I was really starting to be held up physically, and I'm so grateful that I'm seeing that turn around in such short order. 
      My general disposition lately is hopeful and motivated. The only thing that bugs me on a daily basis still is the way those supplements make my house smell. So stink! But I just bought a smell proof bag online that other people use to put their pot in. My house doesn't stink anymore. 
       
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    • BeanitoDiego

      Oh yeah, something I wanted to rant about, a billing dispute that cropped up 3 months ago.
      Surgery was in August of 2023. A bill shows up for over $7,000 in January. WTF? I asks myself. I know that I jumped through all of the insurance hoops and verified this and triple checked that, as did the surgeon's office. All was set, and I paid all of the known costs before surgery.
      A looong story short, is that an assistant surgeon that was in the process of accepting money from my insurance company touched me while I was under anesthesia. That is what the bill was for. But hey, guess what? Some federal legislation was enacted last year to help patients out when they cannot consent to being touched by someone out of their insurance network. These types of bills fall under something called, "surprise billing," and you don't have to put up with it.
      https://www.cms.gov/nosurprises
      I had to make a lot of phone calls to both the surgeon's office and the insurance company and explain my rights and what the maximum out of pocket costs were that I could be liable for. Also had to remind them that it isn't my place to be taking care of all of this and that I was going to escalate things if they could not play nice with one another.
      Quick ending is that I don't have to pay that $7,000+. Advocate, advocate, advocate for yourself no matter how long it takes and learn more about this law if you are ever hit with a surprise bill.
      · 0 replies
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    • BeanitoDiego

      Some days I feel like an infiltrator... I'm participating in society as a "thin" person. They have no idea that I haven't always been one of them! 🤣
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    • ChunkCat

      Thank you everyone for your well wishes! I totally forgot I wrote an update here... I'm one week post op today. I gained 15 lbs in water weight overnight because they had to give me tons of fluids to bring my BP up after surgery! I stayed one night in the hospital. Everything has been fine except I seem to have picked up a bug while I was there and I've been running a low grade fever, coughing, and a sore throat. So I've been hydrating well and sleeping a ton. So far the Covid tests are negative.
      I haven't been able to advance my diet past purees. Everything I eat other than tofu makes me choke and feels like trying to swallow rocks. They warned me it would get worse before it gets better, so lets hope this is all normal. I have my follow up on Monday so we'll see. Living on shakes and soup again is not fun. I had enough of them the first time!! LOL 
      · 0 replies
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    • BeanitoDiego

      Still purging all of the larger clothing. This morning, a shirt that I ADORED wearing ended up on top. Hard to let it go, but it was also hard to let go of those habits that also no longer serve my highest good. Onward and upward!
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