My surgery date is June 8th 2015 so it's getting closer, and I was just wondering if anyone had been treated differently after losing weight? Was it positive? Negative? Both? I'd like to know because I'm about to have the surgery and for my whole life people have treated me like I was invisible, and if the did notice me they looked at me like I wasn't human. So... does anyone have a story to tell? How has your social life changed as far as how people treat you?

Before. I was invisible to people who did not know me. I was just a fat lady.

I still want to lose 25 lbs. when I joined the gym, I was treated like a normal person who just wanted to get fitter. Everything is different. I am 61. And my life is unfolding before my very eyes. The best is on its way. I'm so grateful.

I always say this journey is as much mental as it is physical. People do treat you differently. Mostly better but that kind of pisses me off as much as those that were ignoring or mean when I was big. Shallow people suck. I think real friends stay the same. I think acquaintances might change. I definitely feel like I'm scrutinized and under a microscope a little more than I was. Whatever you do, please stay focused on yourself. I have very thick skin. I'm a nurse manager. I walk around with a target on my back most days. I was already used to "holding my head up and being assertive". It's easier now. But it still pisses me off that size matters. This is a journey about you. Best thing to do is NOT make it about others. You will never please everyone - why even try! Be prepared for comments, good and bad. Having a plan on how to talk about it helps. Being unprepared for the negativity or the over eager-can't-stop-talking about your weight loss friend is helpful. You're in charge - not them! Good luck. It's worth every worry.

That's great advice thank you! I think it will be a challenge to know who is really a friend and who is there only because you're now acceptable looking to them lol.

It's probably you being more comfortable in your own skin and looking more approachable. :-)

I've definitely seen a difference. Something as simple as strangers saying hi in the hallways at work (office building/public). This totally catches me off guard since previously it rarely happened. Now it happens all of the time.

I do agree that in other aspects it's a direct response to how I come across now, more self confident I guess. But just walking in a hall...hmm. Lol

I would not take it so much as people not approaching or speaking to you because of weight. I think having been both thin and overweight multiple times during my adult life that it is attitude and how approachable you allow yourself to be. If it is someone you have known or seen in the past that is just now speaking to you, give them the chance to show who they are. Maybe you were giving do not approach me vibes or were overly guarded. Sometimes people do not notice people with low self-esteem or lack of confidence. Weight has nothing to do with those things. Maybe they are shy and you being approachable made them more comfortable.

Happy people smile and smiles get noticed from miles away.

I know thin people who are so guarded that they are almost invisible.

A funny thing that happened the other day at the grocery store.

I was dressed in a new super cute new size medium figure showing dress. I was feeling really pretty and thin because it looked good without a shaper.

I as in the line for check out unloading my cart and noticed this older man had stopped and was staring at me literally drooling. I mean spit out the mouth drooling. EWWW! and creepy.

I was not sure if I should be creeped out, grossed out or flattered. I decided to be all three in the end and just burst out laughing. It was the silliest most ridiculous situation. I am sure I looked that hot that day. LOL

At least the man in question had the courtesy to blush when I started laughing.

I went through alot of weird feelings when I got close to goal. I felt like everybody was staring at me. I thought maybe I was dressing inappropriately, or my excess skin was hugely ugly or something like that. At some point, I started dating a guy and he told me...no... people are looking because you are HOT.

Overtime, I realized something. People weren't staring, they were just doing normal looking at me. I went from invisible to noticable. Who knew that was such an adjustment but for me it really was. I am over it now and don't even notice it or pay attention. People can look or not look and I just don't care.

In addition, i think it is only fair to say that people treat me differently because I AM DIFFERENT. i am much happier, outgoing, self confident, physically capable, prettier, fix my hair and make up more, wear fashionable clothes (it is alot easier to look up to date when you are in single digit sizes versus the 26-32W range!!!).

An aquaintance that knew me both before and after weight loss summed it up. She said that I had a bubble around me before... not that I was rude or unfriendly, but I had energy that repelled people... or at least did not encourage them to come hug me. She told me that now people WANT to be around me because I am fun, energetic, positive and just draw people. I could have been offended by her remarks, but i have to tell you.. I think she was right.

so yes, people do treat me differently and it cannot all be chalked up to "fat phobia" - a good deal of it is me.

People that know me very well are different with me. They say I'm happy now and always looked mad before. I didn't feel mad before but I sure in the hell feel really happy now.

In addition, i think it is only fair to say that people treat me differently because I AM DIFFERENT. i am much happier, outgoing, self confident, physically capable, prettier, fix my hair and make up more, wear fashionable clothes (it is alot easier to look up to date when you are in single digit sizes versus the 26-32W range!!!).

This. Right here. All day.

Unfortunately, yes. I have never had problems fitting in/getting along with anyone when I was bigger. Or so I thought. Now- people come up to me, compliment me, etc. Even my close friends want to hang out with me more. It's odd. And quite frankly, kind of sad how different bigger people get treated.

I have been trying to decide how to answer the folks who ask how I lost weight and I can't decide. Should I say I had WLS so that others can see it works and encourage others to take a chance (like someone did for me) or should I just say "a lot of hard work and dedication" because it will be hard work and dedication????

I tell anyone that will listen that I had surgery AND that it is still a lot of work! B

@@sparksrn

Why not say both? They are both 100 percent true and if you are comfortable talking about it, it could help others too scared to take the next step.

I have no problem talking about it with people who make me feel comfortable. I also help them understand what hard work it really is. I literally have to fight for every single pound I lose at this point. It is damn hard work and you have to change your life to accomplish your goals.

The surgery is simply a tool that helps me meet those goals without feeling starved all the time.

People actually look at me when they talk to me now. But, I have to say, I have been treated much worse by people in the past for being a stay at home mom than for being over weight. Apparently, obesity is more socially acceptable than staying home with your children. (this was in the far distance past, my children are now 34,28,and 25)