I typically avoid the posts on this website where people are ranting at each other. I feel like handing out a virtual cupcake to everyone and saying, "can't we all just get along?"

Seriously people, the awesome thing about an online forum is you get to pick and choose what you read and engage in. This is the main reason why I prefer this over attending the support groups at my local barriatric center. I can't control who attends those meetings and then I'm stuck with them for an entire hour.

I sign on to Barriatric Pal daily. Why? Because I know staying connected is one of the best things I can do to insure I am successful in this journey. Time and time again I read posts from people who have strayed from the site, gone off track, gained weight and come back for support. I come on this website and read these posts daily. IT'S MY CHOICE. I will be a year out from surgery on April 16, 2014. Yes, sometimes it is annoying to read the same posts over and over again about stalls, hair loss, loose skin, food intake and Vitamins. Guess what? One short year ago I was the newbie starting on this journey anxious whether I would succeed or not. I was full of questions and eager to reach out to others as nobody in my "real" world had weight loss surgery.

I work with a lot of people in 12 step recovery programs in my profession. Bill Wilson, one of the founders of AA, early on grew frustrated when he reached out to fellow alcoholics to help them, but often those men he tried to help went on to drink. He felt like giving up and one night his wife Lois, reminded him that HE was no longer going out and getting drunk. The act of giving back to others helped maintain his own sobriety. I remind myself of this. I choose to give back and help newbies on this site to help myself. I read your posts and it reminds me of information I learned long ago and "forgot". It helps me stay on track. If a post annoys me, I can choose to ignore it.

I help you to help me.

I'm going to eat a real cupcake now.

Edited April 16, 201511 yr by Bluesea71

Congratulations on your upcoming anniversary and success. We share the anniversary day just a couple of years apart. I come back pretty much for the same reasons you mention above. I try and avoid the negative posts but I like to give back by offering encouragement to those looking to change their life. Seems that new bandsters are slowly fizzling out. I can not visit for a week and still manage to catch up pretty quickly. Part of it saddens me but I completely understand medical technology changes all the time and WLS is no different.

Seems like yesterday I was new and didn't know where to start. So many people helped me along the way. Most of them have moved on. I guess some get what they need from the site and move on with life.

Thank you so much for this! As a newbie I appreciate every single one of every experience vsger. I can't tell you how many times you all made me feel like I CAN do this and that its all going to be alright---Even if there are bumps along the road.

I have learned that there are bumps, successes, and that everyones journey is different BUT that we al have a monster in common OBESITY!

It truly hurts when some folks (they know who they are) bring people down and give them "tough love." I get that it's a blog and you should not take this to heart however, people come here mostly when they are confused or in a bad mental place.

Anyways... Thanks for this post!!!

I feel the same way, and have said as much. There will always be new-comers, who need just as much support as we do, and if I have the time, I can do that. Why not? Sure summer is coming and things will get busier for all, but how much time are we talking about? Can I spare a few minutes to help someone who may just be doing this to save their life? YES! Period. And if we can all admit it, this IS saving our lives. Onto the new......

The more newbies, the merrier. That means more folks are getting the boost they need to get healthy. The other rants I avoid are the people who think they are English professors grading papers. If you want grammar police, go to Marksdailyapple.com. It is a Primal/paleo website (which I have recommended for content), but the forum contributors tend to be West Coast elitists who can't handle typos, misspellings, and colloquialisms (y'all, y'uns, you'se guys). One thing I like about Bariatric Pal is that the community seems to be mostly "just folks" looking for support, not correction and coercion.

Almost left when I read what everyone was talking about writing etiquette since English is my second language as a new person here posting something I almost felt judge by others but like my weight I didn't let it get to me. I see other are here to help and give u good advice and that's why i stayed and I don't write much but I do read a lot!

Great points

@@Bluesea71

Great post. I hope you enjoyed the cupcake.

@@Nyelaah

Couldn't agree more.

right.

I love your post. I try to ignore the posts where people are "bitchy" to each other or complaining because some "newbie" didn't look for an old "thread" before posting a question. BTY, some of the old threads are six+ pages of responses and sometimes very difficult to find answers. I love your philosophy. I am currently reading the AA book (my son is an alcoholic and doesn't want to change), so I know what you mean about constantly reminding yourself of where you were in order to become and remain the person you want to be. Thank you for the reminder!

I was so clueless when I was starting out and thankfully I never felt judged. There are so many people who really helped me by answering questions that I'm sure they had answered over and over again. I had never been in an on-line forum before and I'm not a very geeky computer user, so I didn't even know how to search the archives or anything like that. I miss some of the old-timers who have moved on and am always grateful to see a post or comment from one of who I consider the old-timers. @@Jim1967 you helped me so much as I was making my way through the process and figuring it all out. You had the link to the Dr. Simpson info in your signature and you'll see I've done the same. Nine times out of ten when I read one of your posts I'd go and peruse his links to get basic protocol into my thinking (it's not about restriction, it's not about restriction). So helpful to me. Also the humor and camaraderie. I really need that as I am private about my weight loss and consider you all here to be my community for that. Thank you all. Whatever the method of surgery, we are all in this together. And a year or two out has not made me an expert on anything, that's for sure, but I can have compassion and enthusiasm for any one who is facing their weight issues and wanting to make a healthy change. Here's to our lives that we've gotten back!

I was so clueless when I was starting out and thankfully I never felt judged. There are so many people who really helped me by answering questions that I'm sure they had answered over and over again. I had never been in an on-line forum before and I'm not a very geeky computer user, so I didn't even know how to search the archives or anything like that. I miss some of the old-timers who have moved on and am always grateful to see a post or comment from one of who I consider the old-timers. @@Jim1967 you helped me so much as I was making my way through the process and figuring it all out. You had the link to the Dr. Simpson info in your signature and you'll see I've done the same. Nine times out of ten when I read one of your posts I'd go and peruse his links to get basic protocol into my thinking (it's not about restriction, it's not about restriction). So helpful to me. Also the humor and camaraderie. I really need that as I am private about my weight loss and consider you all here to be my community for that. Thank you all. Whatever the method of surgery, we are all in this together. And a year or two out has not made me an expert on anything, that's for sure, but I can have compassion and enthusiasm for any one who is facing their weight issues and wanting to make a healthy change. Here's to our lives that we've gotten back!

I would love the link! Thanks for your thoughtful post :-)

Thank you so much for your post! Honestly it was wonderful and definitely appreciated. I'm a newcomer and I don't know if anyone else can relate to this but I actually prefer the more current posts to the older post for this reason: weight loss surgery is scientific and part of the medical world which means opinions and changes are constantly being made. Something that might have been totally acceptable 2-3 years ago might be now changed and revised for what is now currently needed and necessary. I'm a nurse and I can say that in the last 8 years I have worked in a hospital, so much has changed in practice and how patients are taking care of. I would also assume that WLS would fall under that same category. While I appreciate the fact that some of the same issues years ago people were facing are the same as today, the method of dealing with and helping with those issues could have easily changed. I'm more interested in the current methods and practices not because the old posts won't help, but because I want to know what people are doing right now to help fix the problems. So I do appreciate the new threads and post because it helps give me current information with people who are active and it makes me feel happier to know they are right there with me. Again thank you for the post, made me happy to read it

@@Nyelaah the Dr. Simpson link is below in my signature. I am a bander but you'll see on the left-hand side of the site there is a category for Gastric Sleeve. I don't know much about the sleeve or whether this is the best site for that, but I love the way this doctor explains everything so well. I got a lot out of it and maybe you will, too. I needed to read things over and over again to help me change my thinking. That's something we all have in common no matter what the surgery -- the head game. I still have old habits that come up here and there and now I tell myself, "oh, I don't do that anymore." Makes me so proud and happy but really it's the surgery that is allowing me to respond that way, to be able to override the tendencies to turn to food that were so urgent before.

Thanks Bluesea71 for starting this post!!

I personally like to visit the site frequently to get different perspectives on different aspects from different people at different stages...I think it helps us all when we see and hear so many different ways of trying to achieve the same goal. As for me, because I was one who had so many different questions and concerns from the very beginning of my journey, I enjoy sharing my experience and answering any questions that I possibly can...I guess I feel like it's my way of paying it forward!!!