I am a very open person, but when I decided to have wls, I decided I was only telling my husband, my very closest friends, and one of my siblings.

I am scheduled to be sleeved in April and have started telling people that I'll be out for a few weeks. I haven't told anyone at work what I'm actually having done, but I never intended to lie about it. I mentioned having gallstones to one coworker (true) and it started going around that I'm having my gallbladder removed (not true, but I went with it.) I had to have a bunch of additional tests, and I was discovered to have gastritis and GERD.

I've had coworkers ask me point blank what I'm having done (not supervisors) and I've started straight up lying. It should be so easy to say I'd prefer not to talk about it, but I've started saying I'm having an ulcer repaired and my gallbladder removed. I feel guilty for lying... but I'm in too deep to come clean now, right? I have been joking that the doctors are "taking care of all kinds of stuff while they're in there" which is technically true, I guess, and leaves the door open for me to tell the truth down the line. My guilt over lying doesn't change the fact that I don't want to discuss this at work.

I don't know. I guess I just want feedback from people who understand. Do I come clean now? Or stop beating myself up about the lies? Is it messed up that I know my coworkers will send flowers, and a good part of the guilt comes from the fact that gallbladder removal feels like an appropriate occasion for flowers, while wls does not?

Additionally I welcome anyone else to share embarrassing wls confessions. If nothing else, misery loves company! :)

Edited March 10, 201511 yr by gofigure

Less is more. don't dig yourself into something too deep.

I decided not to tell and I am happy for my decision as I listened to some comments of my mother - in - law saying that she doesn't understand these people (like me -thank god I didn't tell her) having their stomach cut. She is a size 24 lady and advised to drop some weight but she doesn't bother instead she judges others.

Funny. That's exactly why I decided to tell the truth in the beginning. It's just easier to remember that what lie I told whom! You have to do what works for you. If you're not up to defending your decision, I get it. That debate is not for everyone. But I've found that HAVING the conversation has helped me grow, afforded me the privilege of being a mentor, and given me the satisfaction of knowing I'm at least attempting to educate the uninformed about the problem of obesity and a potential tool to recover from it.

I can honestly say I haven't had a bad conversation about it. Not everyone I've met agrees with my decision, (family included), but I've not experienced any outright "haters" either. Maybe it's because I'm surrounded with great people. Maybe it's the way I approach the conversation. Probably a little of both. If I do run into haters in the future, I figure I don't give a rat's ass what folks think if they're not on my side in this battle to reclaim my health anyway. Why would I give them the power to piss me off?

.

Edited March 29, 201511 yr by MoMo12onTheGo

One of the biggest benefits of not telling people I've had WLS is that I have not had to spend hours / days / weeks of my life trying to educate people who are uneducable about WLS.

Whew!

Totally agree! I feel the same. People are not educated and this is the biggest problem.

I set it up in stages. I let management know I needed time for some tests. That's when I did the psych and EDG.

Then I said the bloodwork was alarming and off the charts and I had to make some drastic changes. I let them know I had a scope and ulcers on my stomach and needed a hernia repair and surgery was needed. I let them know a strict diet was necessary too for needed weight loss.

So everything fell in place and I was a perfect pro active person letting everyone know I was going to be out but not for too long. I was back to work within a week.

They just accepted the liquid diet before and the "new" diet afterwards and they commended me on my changes since the surgery.

So I just didn't share everything because I've been there 15 years and it's all women and they are the kind of people that would have used the words "easy way out". When this has been the most work I've put into a lifestyle change in the past year!!!

I'm comfortable with what I've said and the only difference is that I remedied the ulcers mostly with a vsg, hahaha.

Good luck to you.

How is your weight loss going?

I initially told everyone that I was taking a 2 week "staycation" at home. Honestly I felt really bad about lying to my team. The only person at the office who knew the truth was my boss. I ended up telling everyone before I went out which was a good thing because I needed some extra time off.

I figured that these are the people that I work with every day and they have always been supportive in the past. Besides they are going to notice that I am not eating anymore and dropping weight like crazy. Honestly, everyone was AWESOME about it. They have been texting me and emailing and sending good wishes/thoughts the entire time I have been out.

I also agree that it's 100% your decision and you are the one to make that call. It's no one else's business besides yours. I haen't

Conscience, schmonscience!

I think you're doing great. I say the bigger, the better. You could even add these:

1. They discovered I have a tapeworm, and it's so big they have to operate to get it all out.

2. Now, they've discovered that the big tapeworm has had baby tapeworms, and they have to do even more complicated surgery to remove the baby tapeworms. It's becoming very dangerous!

3. Turns out it's not tapeworms, after all. It's Amazonian leeches that have attached themselves to the inside of my intestinal walls. We have NO idea how they got in there. It's possible they crawled into my mouth while I was asleep on a Caribbean beach last fall when hubby and I were on that cruise. But it's bad!

4. I just had a pre-op endoscopy, and now it seems that I've also swallowed some car keys--three of them, the electronic kind. And none of them are a match to our cars. My husband thinks this could also have happened on that cruise. One night I didn't get back to our cabin until 5:00 am and don't remember a damn thing after the baked Alaska. Hubby won't stop teasing me about it. I'm pretty pissed.

5. Hubby bought me a beautiful new ring for my birthday and also as an apology for teasing me so much about the car keys in my stomach. Trouble is that he hid it in a piece of birthday cake, and I swallowed the ring! And it hasn't come out the other end yet! The doctors are worried that it's been swallowed by one of the Amazonian leeches. So we're adding that to the list of things they're going to remove during gastrointestinal surgery.

See ... you could get much more creative about all this.

Have fun!

wow I I feel crappy and you made me laugh I hope everything goes grear for you!!!

I have no worries telling people about my sleeve I am proud of my process and ready for this journey is def not easy but is all worth it????

How is everything going post WLS?

I personally do not like to tell lies, so I told people the truth. Everyone has to do what is comfortable for them; you don't have to give people an answer.

Post WLS you can say, providing you didn't tell them you had WLS, "I am on a medically supervised diet and am exercising and eating less and better now" can be a good answer to someone when they pay you a compliment on your weight loss; it is also the truth.

For pushy people who want to know why you are going to be out for a medical procedure, you can always tell them "You are having (whatever their name is) surgery". When they ask "What is that". You tell them "That is where a surgeon removes a person's cranium from their rectum".

Conscience, schmonscience!

I think you're doing great. I say the bigger, the better. You could even add these:

1. They discovered I have a tapeworm, and it's so big they have to operate to get it all out.

2. Now, they've discovered that the big tapeworm has had baby tapeworms, and they have to do even more complicated surgery to remove the baby tapeworms. It's becoming very dangerous!

3. Turns out it's not tapeworms, after all. It's Amazonian leeches that have attached themselves to the inside of my intestinal walls. We have NO idea how they got in there. It's possible they crawled into my mouth while I was asleep on a Caribbean beach last fall when hubby and I were on that cruise. But it's bad!

4. I just had a pre-op endoscopy, and now it seems that I've also swallowed some car keys--three of them, the electronic kind. And none of them are a match to our cars. My husband thinks this could also have happened on that cruise. One night I didn't get back to our cabin until 5:00 am and don't remember a damn thing after the baked Alaska. Hubby won't stop teasing me about it. I'm pretty pissed.

5. Hubby bought me a beautiful new ring for my birthday and also as an apology for teasing me so much about the car keys in my stomach. Trouble is that he hid it in a piece of birthday cake, and I swallowed the ring! And it hasn't come out the other end yet! The doctors are worried that it's been swallowed by one of the Amazonian leeches. So we're adding that to the list of things they're going to remove during gastrointestinal surgery.

See ... you could get much more creative about all this.

Have fun!

wow I I feel crappy and you made me laugh I hope everything goes grear for you!!!

Glad you're feeling better. I was sleeved 13 months ago and have been at or below goal now for 5 months. So, yeah, everything went great for me.

I only told two people about my WLS - my 2 adult sons. The people that I worked with didn't ask about the kind of surgery I was having and I didn't tell them. I happened to move mid-way throuh my weight loss journey, so no one saw me go from 250 lbs to 150 lbs, but as I've gotten thinner, people have complimented me, and asked how I've lost the weight (perfectly normal), and it's then that I feel bad/guilty, because in reality, I'm not telling the whole story, I'm not giving the WLS it's due credit and I'm misrepresenting how I have been able to ultimately be successful. I never felt bad not explaining what type of surgery I was having - before the surgery, but now, I really hate the feeling that I'm out-and-out lying about how I've been able to be drop this much weight. (But having said that, I still want to keep that decision private).

Ah, guilt.

Obviously, you committed a really huge crime -- you didn't compulsively share your private personal and medical decisions with the world.

Seriously ... why don't you explore why you think everyone is entitled to know all this?

If you want to be a WLS missionary and you have the time and tolerance to evangelize for WLS, Then go for it.

But making that choice is best done by those who are willing to invite some considerable ignorant commentary from folks who know nothing about WLS, some of whom will forever regard you as "one of those people." Are you open to that? Again, if you are then go for it.

But if you're not, don't do it. This is not a genie you can put back into the bottle.

Either way, you don't owe everyone a full recitation of your medical history and decisions. Stop thinking you do.