I'm done telling folks. They don't get it

[jbrooks_rn 23]

I have told everyone ....even my patients ....iv gotten only just a couple less then desirable comments but overall the people that Matter have been supportive and I'm glad I did !

[jersey_girl_86 61]

To be honest my husband doesn't even know, the only one that knows is my mother. My husband knows I will be having surgery on my stomach in a couple months, that's it bc he would not be supportive and I don't need negativity. I have 2 ulcers so he thinks it's for that. I have never lied about it I just haven't gone into detail. And I would never tell my friends or other family bc they wouldn't understand.

[happymama2014 206]

I told my mom because I needed her to watch my son. I heard "wow , it's so dangerous, I wish you could do it on your own". I told my best friend and she said I wish you didn't have to do that. She did take me and brought me home but she's not a person of support that I can talk to about this. Then I heard my mom say well since you already have to lose weight before the surgery can't you just keep losing weight. That just tells me that both people don't understand and are not able to support me in this decision. If that's whatIm get from my closest allies of course I'm not sharing it with people on the outside. To each his own. Seven weeks out down 40 pounds! No regrets!

[jmscout6 27]

My immediate family knows and one friend knows ...that's it ....that's all I need to tell

[Mumsicle 22]

For several years, I'd thought about it, researched the difference in surgeries, talked to several people who'd benefitted greatly from bariatric surgery. I made the mistake of mentioning to my three sisters (The Vatican's Massachusetts Cathedral of Infallibility and Holy Trinity of Judgement) and mother that I was considering bariatric surgery. WOW!! Their rapid-fire stampede of negativity, opinions, judgement, and "I know a girl who blah blah blah" actually ENCOURAGED me (black sheep, middle child of seven kids, the rebel....) to pursue the idea. I can betcha they've heard some wicked twisted grapevine version of the when and where, and most likely continue to hush-hush gossip endlessly. two work at the hospital - one on the floor where I will possibly be post-op. I am requesting to be put elsewhere post-op, but if there aren't any beds available on a different med-surg floor......Ring the Funtime Alarm. Just don't bring in the MassHoles.

[BitterSweet* 835]

@@Mumsicle, Dying laughing at the description of your sisters!! ????????

[Elizabeth21 175]

I started out thinking I would just be open to all but fortunately I read some of the forums here and re-considered. As a result I have only let a few close friends know and my husband. They are all supportive. I do NOT need the extra drama from my mother or others would not only spout all the negative, but then constantly monitor me. I just told them I was having hernia repair. When they notice weight loss I will chalk it up to improved eating habits and exercise.

If someone who is truly struggling with weight asks me and I think they might benefit from the truth, I would maybe tell them. Because that is how I discovered the sleeve procedure. I asked someone who had lost weight AND KEPT IT OFF what he had done. He was very kind and explained how this was different from the WLS of 20 years ago, etc.

Bottom line: NOBODY DESERVES an answer. YOU CHOOSE what is right for YOU!!

[finediva 979]

Yup, yup and yup. At 5 months out only medically involved people know. When I read post like this I continue to feel 100% sure of my decision not to tell anyone. If anyone is guessing or has questions, I don't know, because I have not had a single question about WLS. Sometimes I wonder about that. Hnnnn

[txprincess 47]

Oh wow! I hate this lack of support for all of you! I've been met with nothing short of the utmost support! I have been blogging for years since I started on the journey with my lapband and getting it out, now heading to the sleeve. I even post on my Facebook page everything I'm doing through this process. Lots of support from my family and friends. If someone has a negative opinion, they haven't been brave enough to voice it! I'm so glad y'all have this place to come for support!

[Blue_Disciple 27]

I know how you feel. My wife already informed me she does not support me and will not be at my surgery. As painful as it is, I'm still getting it done! Life like this is not living but merely existing! I want to live!

Everyone dies, but not everyone truly lives.

-Unknown

[downsizingdiva 459]

Oh my goodness. .I can't imagine.

[Mrs. Reid 392]

Only 2 people in my life know...actually 3, but my best friend dumped me when she found out I was having surgery. We work in the same place and I don't believe she is going to tell people, because I believe she is afraid that I would tell everyone she had wls and gained most of the weight back.

[Tisa 52]

None of my college friends know about my surgery. At first I felt bad but I'm kind of loving it and also find it ironic to be known as the strange sassy vegetarian with a small appetite. I was once the shy fat girl that no one knows much about. Part of this journey is finding the identity you want for yourself and having the courage to know you deserve it. This is a second chance, and although I'll never forget my past I don't want my past to become a part of my future.

[JourneyToLife 119]

I would not bother telling anyone. Only told a select few.

[efierke 60]

While I can certainly understand the fear of rejection / anger and not wanting to tell your husband about the surgery, that fear pales in comparison to the sense of betrayl that I know I would have if my partner didn't tell me about such a dramatic and life changing event. I love him and we've been together for almost 4 years now. He hates the fact that I'm having the surgery, but I know if I didn't tell him, he'd absolutely walk out and never come back. And, to be honest, if he distrusted me enough to not tell me about him having some sort of surgery, I know our relationship would not survive. If you can't trust your husband enough to tell him that you're having surgery I think there's a lot going on with your relationship that needs addressing first.

To be honest my husband doesn't even know, the only one that knows is my mother. My husband knows I will be having surgery on my stomach in a couple months, that's it bc he would not be supportive and I don't need negativity. I have 2 ulcers so he thinks it's for that. I have never lied about it I just haven't gone into detail. And I would never tell my friends or other family bc they wouldn't understand.