I thought this surgery was going to change my life. Instead I feel worse than ever. I never even drank soda before this and now I guzzle it down all day long! Before surgery I stocked my cupboards with all the junk foods I wanted to eat as a last hurrah and I thought I would have no problem with it after the surgery! But the hurrah just keeps going! I ate an entire plate of cookie dough last night before bed.

Now all I can do Is eat candy and burgers, go out dancing and have one night stands. I just found out I'm pregnant from the last one I had the week after surgery! I still had my stitches in and we got it on all night and snorted some #%##% and order room service - pancakes!!!

I just stretch my pouch and then I throw it all up after to I can eat some more. It's crazy! And I never smoked before but since the first cigarette tasted so good and that nicotine buzz feels amazing, I just chain smoke now. I might even try some other drugs, I never knew they were so fun!

I think the surgery did something to my brain. All I want to do is have sex and eat junk food, my husband doesn't even know. He thinks I'm at work! And now I'm pregnant and he has a vasectomy so boy am I in trouble.

My favorite thing to do is lay in my hotel bed and dribble maple syrup into my mouth and post on bariatric pal about my fiendish bad girl behavior.

Do you think the surgery changed my brain? Before this I was a straight laced schoolteacher with five kids and a pastors wife to boot!

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Just kidding. Thought you all might need a laugh. I'm totally committed to my journey and all of us seem to be doing amazing, and I am very thankful tonight to have this great supportive board of people to talk to. Happy Thanksgiving.

I bet there were people reading that before you said you were kidding ready to jump your shit, lol. Thanks for the laugh....

Well, I just KNEW this was some college kid prank or something!!!

For a moment there I felt more normal than some. Lol

I find no humor in this either. Very offensive and done in poor taste

Agreed!

You had me at a plate full of cookie dough. I was like heck, how can she fit a plate full of anything. I can barely make it to my 1/4 cup meal. Getting it on one week after surgery was an impossibility. Wow, I couldn't even sleep on my side back then. Just getting out of bed required concentration.

You are so funny.

Lighten up people! It was a funny!

I burnt some calories laughing!

I didn't mean to offend anyone. I'm just nervous about my surgery tomorrow and was blowing off steam by joking. I think it was my way of reminding myself that though this surgery will fix my weight it's not going to prevent me from making mistakes in life and it's up to me to work towards the life I want regardless of my weight.

It seems like this site is full of perfect people who are totally committed and following their orders perfectly and having no slip ups at all, just perfect little angels and I just wanted to say- hey, if your not perfect, like me, if your scared like me, and if you are staring real life in the face and know that even post surgery life won't be easy all the time, I'm hear for you. Let's be great, successful, and imperfect together. I would have a hard time finding support in a site where anyone who isn't perfect or jokes around at the hard truths gets shunned.

It makes me happy to make people laugh and not to take life too seriously all of the time because most of the time, it is!! Thank you for your comments, I appreciate them and hope you are all doing well.

We all food issues here. It is definitely okay to be nervous. Even after the surgery certain foods are still hard for me. This is a great place for support and I am sure you would have gotten some good advise if the post was true. I hope all goes well with your surgery and that you will have tremendous success.

I didn't mean to offend anyone. I'm just nervous about my surgery tomorrow and was blowing off steam by joking. I think it was my way of reminding myself that though this surgery will fix my weight it's not going to prevent me from making mistakes in life and it's up to me to work towards the life I want regardless of my weight.

It seems like this site is full of perfect people who are totally committed and following their orders perfectly and having no slip ups at all, just perfect little angels and I just wanted to say- hey, if your not perfect, like me, if your scared like me, and if you are staring real life in the face and know that even post surgery life won't be easy all the time, I'm hear for you. Let's be great, successful, and imperfect together. I would have a hard time finding support in a site where anyone who isn't perfect or jokes around at the hard truths gets shunned.

It makes me happy to make people laugh and not to take life too seriously all of the time because most of the time, it is!! Thank you for your comments, I appreciate them and hope you are all doing well.[/quthis

Well said. We've got to keep a sense of humor to make it through this lifestyle change.

Holy crap! At first I was thinking OMG, this can't possibly be for real. No one would actually do this.

I'm glad I read it to the end too, otherwise I would have not only been shocked, but very concerned for you.

I can't say I'm offended, but I do agree with others that think maybe it wasn't the best thing to do, considering that some people may have had those types of issues before having the surgery. We're all more *#*($ up than we think.

People need to relax. It was funny and obviously meant to be so.

Best of luck!

OMG! You are a hoot! I was reading that and thinking, this is crazy and I am doing this surgery and gonna become a HO with a drinking and binging problem! Got to the end and wanted to slap ya! hehe! Thanks for the laugh today!

@bellabloom--So glad you were kidding! So your surgery is tomorrow? You'll do great.

I am 6 weeks out, and honestly......I couldn't "cheat" if I wanted to! My version of cheating was eating some tomato Soup during pureed stage. My PA still wasn't happy when I told her because it just slides right through the pouch and doesn't keep you full.

BUT...I have YET to even feel hungry, so it must have kept me full enough!

This site is great for support--we won't let you lay around and drizzle nastiness into your mouth!!

Hahahaha, omg I was like "This chick is literally gonna die" So funny! People need to loosen up. Oh well, can't win them all. I thought it was an excellent gag

Do you watch the show "Intervention"? I usually don't have time to watch that much TV (especially reality TV). I watched a few seasons of that show after surgery because I was so bored. There were two episodes of post op gastric bypass patients that were doing some incredibly reckless shit.

One episode in particular was similar to your hilarious tale. Your fictional confession was very entertaining but quite unbelievable. Now that I think about it, the high quantity of food right after surgery is what gave it away as fiction. I think it would be impossible.

There is actually a high incidence of post op patients that begin having drug and sex binges after losing a lot of weight even though they were perfect angels before surgery. They might be a little nervous to post on this forum, however. They are probably better off seeking help from a mental health professional anyhow.