Need ideas; what should i tell my boss

[snowkitten 371]

Im really hoping someone can help me figure out what to tell my boss. I HATE to lie. It doesn’t come easily to me but I know its necessary in this case. I work for a very large hospital (billing part) that requires both pto and advance notice for time off. The problem with that is I don’t have any pto, and probably never will as Im on FMLA for a chronic disease (Immune Deficiency). Because I don’t have to give advanced notice or have pto for anything related to my immune deficiency I would like to tell my boss my surgery is for something related. Technically the wls IS related (obesity lowers the immune system, there are increased infections associated with it, and my treatment isn’t working because Im at the max dose because of my weight); however I don’t want to tell her im having wls because I don’t think they will believe me when I say its for my immune system (she’s kinda anti-wls).

I know by law I don’t have to tell my boss any details, but im kinda close to her and tell her everything so It would look funny if I all of a sudden decided to be secretive. This would especially be true since were both coders and we tend to want to know everything about medical.

SO my question is this; do you have any ideas of what surgery I could tell my boss that im having that is related to the stomach/immunity.

Im thinking something like worm removal (since she knows I have a Protein deficiency and this would be consistant) or intestine obstruction. Something just embarrassing enough that she wont ask questions. Any ideas??

[joatsaint 2,814]

You could say you're having a hiatal hernia repaired. I had that done at the same time as my WLS and it's pretty common for obese people.

"Hiatal hernia is a condition in which part of the stomach sticks upward into the chest, through an opening in the diaphragm. " http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0002122/

Or you can use my personal favorite - a fecal transplant. Don't give me that face... it's a real procedure!!!!!! OMG! I googled it to find the medical proof and found this DIY page.

http://thepowerofpoop.com/epatients/fecal-transplant-instructions/

I don't think I'd make a smoothie with the same blender I used for the poop transplant afterwards.

Edited June 19, 2014 by joatsaint

[snowkitten 371]

Ugh, i know that a real procedure! can you imagine having to have that done!? I gag just thinking of it.

How long was your recovery time for the hiatial hernia?

[SherB 220]

I just told my boss it was personal and that I expected to be just fine. I guess if she wanted to know why she didn't ask. Even work friends I feel close to I said the same thing. Now when I start losing weight I would not lie if asked. I just don't want everyone expecting me to drop a boatload of weight in a month at work.

[joatsaint 2,814]

The hernia repair was done during my Sleeve surgery, so they both healed at the same time. My surgeon said it would take about a month to completely heal.

[bikrchk 1,313]

I also had a hernia repaired along with my sleeve procedure and the post op regimen is a similar diet progression, (though over a much shorter time span if the hernia is all they do). Many people who choose not to to tell, say they've had hernia repair. This is actually what I told the first person who asked, she had medical training and started asking all kinds of questions I could not answer about hernias and I came clean. Not a biggie at all. There was no judgement, only support from her.

That said, you don't owe your boss specifics about your medical procedures, only how long it is anticipated you'll be off.

I should add that I did eventually tell EVERYBODY. I told my team pre-op and if anyone asks now, I tell them with excitement about the fantastic tool that's helped me get my health back. Sometimes you don't know when you're living the example that someone else (or someone they love) needs to see.

Edited June 19, 2014 by bikrchk

[PrettyThick1 1,860]

To be completely honest...I was completely honest, with EVERYBODY. Face it, you're about to drop a TON of weight in a short amount of time. People are going to know something is going on with you and although you might not want them to know you've had WLS, it's better than them speculating about why you are eating so little and shrinking so fast. It's a personal choice, but I don't find anything embarrassing about my lifestyle, in fact your honesty could encourage others to make the same decision. I have caused 7 people to get on the journey (4 bands, 2 sleeves, 1 gastric) because before they didn't know anyone else who had gone through it. Once they saw how well I did and continue to do, they couldn't wait to do the same.

[newat52 1,612]

You don't have to tell her anything. You are going out on medical leave I presume? All you boss has to know is that you are having surgery. Period.

If you want to keep your medical history to yourself you have every right. You don't owe anyone an explanation for anything personal.

[Wynnie 186]

Snow kitten, I know what u r saying. First question, r u having the procedure at the same hospital u work at? If not, you could tell your boss that it is for hiatial hernia repair, and that u will be out for fill in the blank. I am close with my coworkers and manager but this is my business, and I did also have a hiatial hernia repair at the same time,and the recovery on that can be 3 weeks or more.mI also explained that I would be losing weight due to a restrictive liquid diet afterwards to allow the hiatial hernia repair to heal, which is also the truth, as if you google hiatial hernia repair recovery, etc u will see this there as well. Sounds like you are a good hearted person, and I am proud of you for your decision oh my additional explanation when I keep losing weight will be that I felt like I was jump starting weight loss and kept up with it, as keep in mind in approx 2-3 months we will eat normally just minimally, etc. Good luck

[Sleeveless in seattle 208]

I wouldn't lie but if you don't wanna tell, don't tell.

[snowkitten 371]

I realize i dont HAVE to tell my boss anything, my dilemma is that its not in my nature not to tell people what going on.

Wynnie- all the preop work was done at the hospital i work at but the procedure, and the surgeon are at another hospital. I do like the idea of a hiatial hernia, its close enough to the truth that i wont feel weird saying it. AND i love the idea that the diets are the same. Thank you all so much for your ideas and support.

[dsdesigna 143]

by law personal medical information should not be shared with employers. It's illegal for them to hold it against you as long as you give them notice that you are going to be doing something, you have no obligation to be specific. HR might need to know but only if you need job modification. And they are legally bound not to divulge that information

[Writerjennifer 107]

I would be very careful. You do not have to explain about your medical issues, but as you are on FMLA and will be using this as your excuse you shouldn't lie. FMLA has specific regulations and legal rights and responsibilities. Please read up and consider the consequences should they discover the lie.

Either be honest, or decline to specify the reason. Your surgeon and doctor knows that the surgery will help your immune issue. that should be sufficient.

[B-52 7,113]

I took a weeks vacation....never said anything about surgery......just a week off....

[Ginger Snaps 1,323]

@snowkitten I understand your dilemma. I'm also a very open and honest person and if I refused to tell what I was doing to my boss or friends that would be more suspicious than just telling them outright. If I were you and feeling that way, I'd just go for it and tell them the truth. Since it's medically approved by insurance it's not like they can refuse you FMLA or anything for it. And, being truthful will go a long way with your boss whether she agrees with the surgery or not. You may have a little strain there at first if she disagrees with your surgery but you can always deal with that.

In the end we have to do what feels right and honest to us personally. Presurgery, I just told people I was having a hernia operation which was true. I didn't say anything about the bypass then because I didn't want my surgery decision to be based on popular opinion or people's horror stories they heard once 10 years back. My company doesn't separate sick leave from vacation, so I didn't need medical excuses or anything.

I told the two candy pushers in the office presurgery so that they wouldn't leave me "get well soon" candy on my desk. They are prone to do that when they know I'm stressed. Yesterday was my first day back in the office and I told a couple of other people because they asked how I was doing and that I look like I've lost weight. I'm the type I'd just rather be open and honest about it all.

Try not to stress too bad about the decision -- just do what feels right to you and what you can live with.

Best wishes

Ginger