Im really hoping someone can help me figure out what to tell my boss. I HATE to lie. It doesn’t come easily to me but I know its necessary in this case. I work for a very large hospital (billing part) that requires both pto and advance notice for time off. The problem with that is I don’t have any pto, and probably never will as Im on FMLA for a chronic disease (Immune Deficiency). Because I don’t have to give advanced notice or have pto for anything related to my immune deficiency I would like to tell my boss my surgery is for something related. Technically the wls IS related (obesity lowers the immune system, there are increased infections associated with it, and my treatment isn’t working because Im at the max dose because of my weight); however I don’t want to tell her im having wls because I don’t think they will believe me when I say its for my immune system (she’s kinda anti-wls).

I know by law I don’t have to tell my boss any details, but im kinda close to her and tell her everything so It would look funny if I all of a sudden decided to be secretive. This would especially be true since were both coders and we tend to want to know everything about medical.

SO my question is this; do you have any ideas of what surgery I could tell my boss that im having that is related to the stomach/immunity.

Im thinking something like worm removal (since she knows I have a Protein deficiency and this would be consistant) or intestine obstruction. Something just embarrassing enough that she wont ask questions. Any ideas??

I am very interested in the whole tell or don't tell question. I am not a private person and tend to blab things to everyone. It isn't a good trait but I deal with it. I have struggled with this question and have told a few people but I live in a small town and am a cancer survivor. I worry that people will think my cancer is back when I start to lose weight. I am having surgery in 9 days and don't want to have people expect miracles from me either. I am torn. Any thoughts out there?

You are the only one who can determine how much of your personal medical information you will disclose to anyone. As a manager, I am not a big fan of discussing personal medical information in the workplace. I chose to tell my immediate family and did not tell my boss or team anything except that I am having surgery and will be on medical leave for 2 weeks.

I understand that you are close to your boss, yet disclosure of this information can be a 2-edged sword. I have had co-workers make comments about "how great I look", but they have stopped short of asking how I did it. I smile, say thank you and keep it moving. If they eventually ask, I won't lie, but I won't discuss it either. It's none of their business.

I agree with Sleeveless in Seattle. You don't have to lie, but you don't have to tell everything you know. My experience with working in hospitals is that even though the culture respects the patients' right to privacy, co-workers do not get the same respect. Everybody wants to know everything about your business, and if you land in a hopsital bed, the whole place knows in about an hour - even in spite of that fact that you have become a patient. Go figure! Just be careful that if you tell HR that it is for a certain condition, you should stick to your story so that it does not come back to bite you in the butt later and cost you benefits or your job. Even if you have to provide a doctor's note, it only has to say that you are under that doctor's care and may return to work on a specific date. You can simply explain your weight loss by saying that you switched to a high Protein diet.

I decided the truth is the best for me. I told my boss and he was very supportive. He said I'm proud if you for doing something to improve your health. I would tell your boss the truth. If she has questions...educate her. You could start by saying you know how I've been fighting thus immunodeficiency? Well I'm at my max dose of meds so now my dr thinks wls will help by losing the weight it will improve my disorder. That's the truth and may help her understand the link between the two.

So I don't plan to tell HR a lie. I just don't think telling my boss would go over well. Shes great but my office thrives on gossip and shes not immune. A coworker who has had the surgery warns me not to tell anyone and i think shes right. I think I'll go with telling her I'm having surgery on my stomach for my immune system and leave it at that.

I got my insurance approval today so i sucked it up and told my boss I needed to take 2 wks off for surgery. After I assured her that I was NOT quitting, She asked if I was ok, then said I didn't need to tell her details if it was personal. I was SO greatful. But the best part is that she was actually HAPPY that I planned the surgery for when I did (because right now we don't have enough work and about the time I get back we will get 3 new clinics and be swamped). I can't believe how nervous I was, I caused myself a panic attack!!!

I'm very happy I didn't compromise my morals with lies. The guilt would have eaten at me

Thank you all for the support. I really appreciate the help and getting to know all opinions.

You could say you're having a hiatal hernia repaired. I had that done at the same time as my WLS and it's pretty common for obese people.

"Hiatal hernia is a condition in which part of the stomach sticks upward into the chest, through an opening in the diaphragm. " http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0002122/

Or you can use my personal favorite - a fecal transplant. Don't give me that face... it's a real procedure!!!!!! OMG! I googled it to find the medical proof and found this DIY page.

http://thepowerofpoop.com/epatients/fecal-transplant-instructions/

I don't think I'd make a smoothie with the same blender I used for the poop transplant afterwards.

Oh wow you have to be kidding? A DIY fecal transplant

Some of my coworkers know. Others, including management, don't. I will tell them before I have the surgery, but not until I've been approved by insurance. My main reason for waiting to tell is I know they'll try and talk me out of it, but I'm not going to let them. Especially knowing I've spent $2700 already! I'm not afraid of repercussions at work, but I expect to hear "I can't believe you're doing that".

When I had the meeting with my boss, I said that I was going to have a procedure done and that the surgeon told me that it should take 2-4 weeks to recover. He said thanks for letting him know and that he did not want to know the details. LOL, I think he thought I was having a "female issue." As it turned out, I was back to work part time about 1 week post-op.

Molly

There should be no shame in taking this step. With a BMI over 50, it will be apparent to your friends that you need to take serious action. I didn't tell people ahead of time because I didn't want a lot of friends telling me I was crazy and that it has a 10% fatality rate, or what ever BS they've heard.

When you drop your first 100 pounds they'll all be asking. Then why would you lie. As for telling your boss, if you don't want to tell her now, just say it's kind of private and let go.