Anyone else doing well with weight loss but scared to death you'll screw it all up

[2Big2Skate 328]

I know I'm capable of failure. I expect it in small doses. So I've planned accountability into my life, and put a net under the tightrope. That eases the fear from Defcon 5 to maybe Defcon 2.

For me that looks like a wife who knows my dietary restrictions and select friends who keep tabs on me and encourage me. It also looks like financial commitments to sports leagues so I get my butt moving even if the gym isnt that appealing in the early AM. And its friends I've made on here, so when I get to work I check in with this community and I get WLS and proper diet and nutrition back to the front parts of my brain.

I don't think I'll ever just accept that the weight is permanently gone. Nor do I think that's a bad thing.

[HumanMerelyBeing 287]

Yes, yes...why is this? I have been losing about 3 lbs a week, but somehow I feel that I've already messed this up somehow. I think I've probably already stretched my pouch or won't be able to keep up with the requirements, etc. So even in the midst of decent success, failure looms.

I like what one poster said, that we must must try to live in the present and renew our commitment every 24 hours.

[m&m4ever 109]

I am terrified every day of going back to what I was. They way I thought about food and myself. Every day it haunts me! I try to use the fear to remind myself of where I came from and that I am never going to let myself go back there again! The brain is a very difficult thing to retrain. I think I'll be working on that part for the rest of my life! Keep up the awesome work and know that you are not alone in that fear.

[gowalking 10,790]

twenty years ago I lost 80 lbs. and swore I'd never be fat again. FF to a little more than a year ago and found myself facing severly limited mobility and now needing to lose more than 100 lbs. So yes, I surely understand your worries as obviously, many of us have the same feelings you do.

I'm actually seeing a professional to hopefully understand my triggers so I can cope better. What I've come to understand is that you can sabotage your success just as easily with WLS as anything else. I may not be able to eat to excess as I once did, but over the course of a day, one can graze and still manage to put the weight back on.

This is a process and now that I'm transitioning to maintenance, I really think the work is just beginning. Hope to see you here on this forum a year from now and still going strong!

[2Big2Skate 328]

Don't just avoid your failure triggers, find your success triggers!

[enjoyinglife 313]

I am not scared that I am going to screw up. I accept the fact that I will have days that I don't feel like working out or eating right. All I am trying to do is be successful 90% of the time.

[HealthyNewMe 1,935]

I am not scared that I am going to screw up. I accept the fact that I will have days that I don't feel like working out or eating right. All I am trying to do is be successful 90% of the time.

My very healthy, athletic daughter lives the 90/10 lifestyle. I'm adopting it too !

[Chickie D 76]

A little fear is a good thing - keeps you on track with your eye on the prize of improved health and a longer life.

Most of us have been on multiple diets in the past and regained. Of course there's a little voice in the back of our minds telling us this isn't happening or this weightless is temporary. We just need to drown out that little voice with the loud cheers of accomplishments and confidence.

[BrantS1976 243]

My very healthy, athletic daughter lives the 90/10 lifestyle. I'm adopting it too !

I think I need to embrace that way of life. My 99.99/0.01 way of viewing things is probably not particularly healthy for me.

Thanks everyone for sharing your thoughts and support. A lot of good ideas in here. I appreciate it greatly.

[NancyintheNorth 112]

yes I do feel that way at times, but I find it positive. It keeps me in conscious choice, it's my reminder that I must be careful and take care of me every day

I refuse to dwell on it, but it's there, in the background and it keeps me level.

You'll be fine, use it as a tool rather than a stick.

[Jim1967 3,569]

I didn't get a chance to read all the replies yet but I can tell the OP that you are not alone. Losing weight is easy..keeping it off now that's hard.

My story is simple and I've told it here many times so I apologize to those reading it for the umteenth time.

In 2003 I was 393lbs and I was at an all time low mentally and physically. A couple of friends from work bought me an Atkins book and begged me to read it. I agreed and the 3 of us set off on our journey supporting one another. We all lost weight. In 19 months I went from 393 to 220 just low carbing. I felt great and I was on top of the world. Then suddenly out of nowhere it seemed I let my guard down and I gained all my weight back plus another 90+lbs.

In just over 10 years time I went from 393 to 220 back up to 488!! Today, I was 207.

I am very much afraid of history repeating itself regardless of the tool and new lifestyle change. I spent a lot of energy angry and hating myself for what I did. It took me a very long time to make peace with it. On the flip side I have become obsessed about losing weight and what is sad is I am not satisfied with where I am at. I am proud of what I've accomplished but not satisfied if that makes sense. Sometimes my attitude plain sucks and I say big deal I am 12lbs lighter then I was in 2003 and look what I had to go through to get here. Still beats the alternative though.

You will hear mixed opinions in regards to weighing in daily. I am a 'pro weigh in daily' advocate. Lifestyle change/tool does not matter unless you know exactly where you are on the scale. I can weigh myself and be up 2 pounds one day or I can wait a whole week to weigh in and find out I am up 5. 2 comes off quicker than 5 and that scale keeps me accountable. It is a tool just like my band.

I wish you the best and hope you hit that goal and maintain it.

[Chickie D 76]

@@Jim1967 I appreciate that you told your story..I'd not seen it before.

It's all so difficult - losing the weight is the "easy" part - it's the rest that is so complicated.

(Totally agree about the scale.)

[DLCoggin 1,788]

@@Jim1967 I appreciate that you told your story..I'd not seen it before.

It's all so difficult - losing the weight is the "easy" part - it's the rest that is so complicated.

(Totally agree about the scale.)

For what it's worth guys, I can say with absolute sincerity that my experience has been exactly the opposite. The first year post-op is when you're in "training".

• That is the time when you're working on, and developing, the all important lifestyle changes. Follow your plan as closely to the letter as you possibly can, and those lifestyle changes, over those first twelve months, become second nature. They become part of who you are.
• You're learning about what eating healthy really means.
• You're learning the difference between "head hunger" and real hunger.
• You're learning about the surprising abundance of healthy and delicious food options that you simply never took note of before.
• You're learning about nutrition labels and what all of the information on them means.
• You're learning about all of the changes your body is going through as the result of the surgery.
• You're learning about the importance and the power of all of the macro nutrients - both positive (protein) and negative (carbs).
• You're learning about how to use your new tool - be it band, sleeve or pouch.
• You're discovering, in my case for the first time in my life, that you really can manage your weight instead of your weight managing you.
• You're learning about the importance of exercise and, in my case for the first time in my life, actually enjoying exercise and all of the benefits that come about as a result.
• You are seeing dramatic changes in obesity related comorbidities like type 2 diabetes, hypertension, sleep apnea, cardio vascular disease and hyperlipidemia (high cholesterol) just to name a few.
• Hopefully you're learning about the countless benefits of maintaining a food log - which next to the surgery itself, I believe to be the most powerful tool that you can have in your arsenal.
• Your confidence multiplies exponentially.
• Your self esteem multiplies exponentially.
• Your joy and your zest for life multiplies exponentially.

Recognize those changes. Embrace them. Celebrate them. Reinforce your commitment every, single, day. Do those things and when you reach your goal you'll discover that maintaining the new you is simply doing more of the same. You've graduated. The "hard part" is done. It's who you have become. And who you will be for the rest of your life. It is so amazing, so exciting, so fulfilling, so delicious that sometimes you feel like pinching yourself just to make sure it's not all some kind of weird, crazy dream. Then you look in the mirror - and you know, with all of your being, that you have arrived at your destination. And you are lovin' the new you!!

[chasingadream 1,311]

I completely understand this fear. Prior to my band, I had my best results with Weight Watchers about 11 years ago when I lost 92 lbs. Then, I gained it all back plus some...I had many excuses and a couple of valid reasons, but it came back just the same.

I've been talking to my counselor about my quirks and anxiety during this journey. I've lost a lot of weight very quickly, much faster than I expected and it's taken a toll on my nerves really. I don't like the attention it is creating and I have this very big fear of totally screwing up. As I approached the 95lb lost mark, those fears just kept getting stronger and kept getting in my way. My counselor and I talked them through, and then I got past that spot in the road. I still take a deep breath each time I get on the scale. I'm trying hard not to let the scales determine my success, but I know the first time I see a significant jump I'm going to be bummed.

But, I have the tools and the skills to get things under control when needed. I know how to make the right choices and I know exercise is the key. I can't let my nerves and my fears stop me along this journey. I've gained so much of my life back in the last 6 months. I refuse...REFUSE...to give it up again.

Good luck to you! Keep up your hard work

thank you for saying all of that….that is exactly how I am feeling….like a nervous Nelly so to speak….I had surgery 8 days after you and have also lost 87 pounds quickly…which is nice and I feel good …but it comes with lots of baggage……good and bad!

[StratusPhr 127]

I think it's a fear we all have.

A doctor told me "A little paranoia is good"

It keeps me from becoming complacent maybe!!