Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Gaunt and an Amazon, really!



Recommended Posts

Yesterday it finally happened..My friend who has been a real supporter to me told me that I need to stop losing weight...I am getting too small...I asked what size clothes she wore and she said a 6-8 depending on the make...I said well I am a 14-16 and she said yes but your a Amazon and looking gaunt...

I said really..I thought Amazons were fit and over 6 feet tall..she said your an Amazon to me....Okay then...She said it doesn't seem to matter your not taking care of yourself and if you don't stop you'll be back in the hospital again....

Wow...never saw that coming....Oh and she added that plastics would take care of the rest of the weight....She is just concerned and worried about me.............

Sure you are!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yesterday it finally happened..My friend who has been a real supporter to me told me that I need to stop losing weight...I am getting too small...I asked what size clothes she wore and she said a 6-8 depending on the make...I said well I am a 14-16 and she said yes but your a Amazon and looking gaunt... I said really..I thought Amazons were fit and over 6 feet tall..she said your an Amazon to me....Okay then...She said it doesn't seem to matter your not taking care of yourself and if you don't stop you'll be back in the hospital again.... Wow...never saw that coming....Oh and she added that plastics would take care of the rest of the weight....She is just concerned and worried about me............. Sure you are!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

no need for enemies with friends like that WOW.. Give her the cold shoulder she'll come around..

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

RJ

That took my breath away! A friend? Think what bothered me most was her saying that you aren't taking care of yourself. After what you've been through, if you had been careless with your health, you wouldn't be here!!!!

You know the drill for future - smile sweetly and thank her for her "concern" and remind her you are under medical supervision who know what they are doing and who will tell you if you go too far!

Then I'd ask her how she's doing since she's looking a bit tired and peaky since you last saw her.... ;-)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

RJ

That took my breath away! A friend? Think what bothered me most was her saying that you aren't taking care of yourself. After what you've been through, if you had been careless with your health, you wouldn't be here!!!!

You know the drill for future - smile sweetly and thank her for her "concern" and remind her you are under medical supervision who know what they are doing and who will tell you if you go too far!

Then I'd ask her how she's doing since she's looking a bit tired and peaky since you last saw her.... ;-)

She fell off her roof on the weekend and I think she is in so much pain that she lashed out....I don't care really..She is just one of many that have spoken out about my looks now or everything else that I do ( wrong ) according to them....

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Don't you wish you could join her "Perfect Club"? Not!!!!!!

Fell off her roof - karma????? Maybe next time Mrs. Buttinsky has an opinion she'll fall down a well. (Just kidding of course)

Hope you're doing well, sweetie!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm so sorry she hurt your feelings. I'm sad for her also because it looks like she may have list a good friend. I just had my bypass last week but I had a lapband four three years that was placed wrong and couldn't get a fill but anyway, I found that I was constantly on display and had friends making remarks that were hurtful. I had a conversation with someone yesterday that was headed that way so I was ready this time. I want to keep our friendship so I told her we all have different journeys but still end with the same destination. I know the situation is different but maybe evaluate what her friendship means to you. If you want to save it, explain that you were hurt and how it made you feel. If she continues to be hurtful know this. Well maybe the friendship means more to you than it does to her.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wow, if you have friends like that, I'd hate to meet one of your enemies.

Yes I think you would hate to meet the friends I thought I had.........this has been a real learning experience for me...A painful one to boot!!!!!!!!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Don't you wish you could join her "Perfect Club"? Not!!!!!!

Fell off her roof - karma????? Maybe next time Mrs. Buttinsky has an opinion she'll fall down a well. (Just kidding of course)

Hope you're doing well, sweetie!

Your too funny.....she is closer to me then i am to her...she fears so much that I will end up back in the hospital and I would die......She should fear that I might break her nose instead...LOL

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Some people don't know what to say or how to handle our "change"... and she could, genuinely, be concerned about you; but just doesn't know how to convey it in a proper manner... that said, I agree ... if her friendship is important (as most are), speak to her and let her know that what she said was hurtful...if she continues; then you know what you have to do...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It sounds like she's just really dependent on you and scared that she might lose you. The problem is that she's not educated about the surgery or why you've set your goals where you have. It's also not good that she can look at you and tell you to stop losing, but if she gained to your current weight, she'd been fighting mad to get back to her current size. :rolleyes:

I say don't dump her, just chalk it up to her accident, love for you and a huge amount of selfishness.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Or maybe she is afraid her "fat friend" will soon pass her in the "looks" department..

Don't see that happening.....I never looked like Barbie, she did...lol

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am only 1/2 way to my goal, but I've gotten this in the past few weeks "Oh you look so good, I really need to start losing weight or you're going to pass me soon." I mean, I've heard it probably 5 times in the past 2 weeks. I seriously want to rip their throats out when I hear that. My sister has even lost 35lbs. since she saw me at Thanksgiving (Plexus). (I got within 25 lbs. of her, and that hasn't happened since we were kids..she was always the thin one.)

For now, Im giving my friends a by. But, if I notice more catty behavior as the weight comes off, I may have to cut ties. I hope your friend just slipped up, but that is insane to me she said that to you when she is that much smaller than you. And to call you an Amazon? Wow. To make the comment she thinks you'll end up in the hospital again? Wow. :(

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am only 1/2 way to my goal, but I've gotten this in the past few weeks "Oh you look so good, I really need to start losing weight or you're going to pass me soon." I mean, I've heard it probably 5 times in the past 2 weeks. I seriously want to rip their throats out when I hear that. My sister has even lost 35lbs. since she saw me at Thanksgiving (Plexus). (I got within 25 lbs. of her, and that hasn't happened since we were kids..she was always the thin one.)

For now, Im giving my friends a by. But, if I notice more catty behavior as the weight comes off, I may have to cut ties. I hope your friend just slipped up, but that is insane to me she said that to you when she is that much smaller than you. And to call you an Amazon? Wow. To make the comment she thinks you'll end up in the hospital again? Wow. :(

That's just mean....my sister is like that too..She was always happy that I weighed more then her...she does not know about my WLS...But she does know I got sick and so I lost some weight...She just doesn't know how much...My hubby says he will have to set himself in position to catch her when she sees me for the first time in 7 years...Or he said maybe he won't catch her...I have no idea what that means...tongue in cheek!!!!!!!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Aunty Mamo

      Iʻm roughly 6 weeks post-op this morning and have begun to feel like a normal human, with a normal human body again. I started introducing solid foods and pill forms of medications/supplements a couple of weeks ago and it's really amazing to eat meals with my family again, despite the fact that my portions are so much smaller than theirs. 
      I live on the island of Oʻahu and spend a lot of time in the water- for exercise, for play,  and for spiritual & mental health. The day I had my month out appointment with my surgeon, I packed all my gear in my truck, anticipating his permission to get back in the ocean. The minute I walked out of that hospital I drove straight to the shore and got in that water. Hallelujah! My appointment was at 10 am. I didn't get home until after 5 pm. 
      I'm down 31 pounds since the day of surgery and 47 since my pre-op diet began, with that typical week long stall occurring at three weeks. I'm really starting to see some changes lately- some of my clothing is too big, some fits again. The most drastic changes I notice however are in my face. I've also noticed my endurance and flexibility increasing. I was really starting to be held up physically, and I'm so grateful that I'm seeing that turn around in such short order. 
      My general disposition lately is hopeful and motivated. The only thing that bugs me on a daily basis still is the way those supplements make my house smell. So stink! But I just bought a smell proof bag online that other people use to put their pot in. My house doesn't stink anymore. 
       
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Oh yeah, something I wanted to rant about, a billing dispute that cropped up 3 months ago.
      Surgery was in August of 2023. A bill shows up for over $7,000 in January. WTF? I asks myself. I know that I jumped through all of the insurance hoops and verified this and triple checked that, as did the surgeon's office. All was set, and I paid all of the known costs before surgery.
      A looong story short, is that an assistant surgeon that was in the process of accepting money from my insurance company touched me while I was under anesthesia. That is what the bill was for. But hey, guess what? Some federal legislation was enacted last year to help patients out when they cannot consent to being touched by someone out of their insurance network. These types of bills fall under something called, "surprise billing," and you don't have to put up with it.
      https://www.cms.gov/nosurprises
      I had to make a lot of phone calls to both the surgeon's office and the insurance company and explain my rights and what the maximum out of pocket costs were that I could be liable for. Also had to remind them that it isn't my place to be taking care of all of this and that I was going to escalate things if they could not play nice with one another.
      Quick ending is that I don't have to pay that $7,000+. Advocate, advocate, advocate for yourself no matter how long it takes and learn more about this law if you are ever hit with a surprise bill.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Some days I feel like an infiltrator... I'm participating in society as a "thin" person. They have no idea that I haven't always been one of them! 🤣
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • ChunkCat

      Thank you everyone for your well wishes! I totally forgot I wrote an update here... I'm one week post op today. I gained 15 lbs in water weight overnight because they had to give me tons of fluids to bring my BP up after surgery! I stayed one night in the hospital. Everything has been fine except I seem to have picked up a bug while I was there and I've been running a low grade fever, coughing, and a sore throat. So I've been hydrating well and sleeping a ton. So far the Covid tests are negative.
      I haven't been able to advance my diet past purees. Everything I eat other than tofu makes me choke and feels like trying to swallow rocks. They warned me it would get worse before it gets better, so lets hope this is all normal. I have my follow up on Monday so we'll see. Living on shakes and soup again is not fun. I had enough of them the first time!! LOL 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Still purging all of the larger clothing. This morning, a shirt that I ADORED wearing ended up on top. Hard to let it go, but it was also hard to let go of those habits that also no longer serve my highest good. Onward and upward!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×