Indigo1991

The holidays are behind us, but it is not too late to consciously think about what we are grateful for. Take weight loss surgery, for example. Weight loss surgery changes almost everything. It can affect what and how much you can eat, your exercise goals, the attention you pay to your health, your daily schedule, and even your personal relationships. Achieving success after WLS means saying goodbye to pizza parties where you eat the whole pizza, trips to the drive-through for a pre-dinner meal on the way home from work, and polishing off the half-gallon of ice cream in the freezer while you watch late-night television.


That can seem like a lot of sacrifice, but success depends largely on your attitude. The difference between rapid, healthy weight loss and a bumpy road filled with complications and struggle may be as simple as the difference between saying “I can’t have that” and “I get to have that.” Here are examples of changing your attitude to improve your weight loss journey.
From “I Can’t” to “I Can”
There are plenty of things that you can’t safely do after weight loss surgery, such as overeating, eating high-fat and high-sugar foods, and drinking alcohol without restriction. Instead of thinking “I can’t” eat that when you are at a dinner party or restaurant, think “I can” have a better time than I used to before weight loss surgery by focusing on the people instead of the food. Don’t think, “I can’t” order a large popcorn and soda while at the movie theater with my friends. Instead, think “I can” fit in the seat now and enjoy the movie!
From “I Have To” to “I Get To”
Some of the daily tasks after weight loss surgery can seem like tedious chores, but think of them in terms of the benefits you get. For example, measuring each serving of food can be a nuisance and is something that you “must” do, but it is also something you “get” to do to help you lose weight, learn portion sizes, and stay in control. Similarly, taking your daily vitamin and mineral supplements and monitoring your health is something that you “have to” do, but you also “get to” enjoy better energy and improved health numbers, such as blood sugar and cholesterol, when you visit the doctor. It’s not that you “have to” go to the gym; more accurately, you “get to” go to the gym to enjoy your new, healthier body and make it stronger and leaner.
From “I Lost” to “I Gained”
You might lose some alone or family time each day when you go to the gym, but you gain it right back in quality. When you are in shape, you can keep up with your children, spouse, and friends. The time you spend with them is higher quality than when you might have been too heavy and out of breath to do anything but sit and watch from the sidelines. And, you can say that “I lost” the chance to go to the donut shop on the way to work each morning, but it is more accurate to say that “I gained” time and money from not going to the donut store, and also the self-respect from skipping the morning sugar load.
From “Never-Ending” to “Constant Progress”
The post-weight loss surgery journey is long…the rest of your life! You are bound to get discouraged if you think about the journey as a “never-ending” struggle. Instead, stay motivated by looking at your constant progress. For the first year and more, your progress can include regular weight loss, smaller body measurements and smaller clothing sizes. For years afterward, progress can include improved fitness or certain athletic milestones, such as completing a 5k run. Other progress might be reduced cravings for sugar, better relationships with your family and having improved health.
Eliminate Doubts
One of the most important attitude shifts you can make is from being doubtful to being confident. When you know that you are going to make the right decision, you do make the right decision. When you let doubt creep in, you are far more likely to make a regrettable decision. Each day, be confident that you will make the right choices. Think about what you will do, and not whether you will do it. If it helps, attach a reason to each statement.
You will go to the gym as planned because it will give you momentum for the rest of the day.
You will take your healthy breakfast, lunch and snacks to work so that you can get the protein and other nutrients that you need.
You will walk past the secretary’s desk without slowing to look at the chocolates so that you can feel proud of yourself as you work in your office.
You will drink the amount of water that you are supposed to because it will help you lose weight, stay awake, and be less hungry.

As with so many other things in life, successful weight loss depends on you following certain rules and actions. Beyond that, your attitude makes the difference between being able to make the right decisions, and making decisions that you will regret later. Will weight loss surgery be a burden to endure, or will it be a privilege to appreciate? It’s up to you…and your waistline and happiness may depend on your answer!

I concur Jean. It is a thought provoking article, that is why there have been such excellent responses, pointing out the variety of understandings. I defnitely have found myself, post wls, aware of the times when I have begun to put something in my mouth and realized that what I really wanted was to be with people, participation. Participation I think is a crucial and pivotal word for formerly obese people, participation in the world around us, participation and permission. My favorite part of the day now is when I suit up and hit the weight room, I was so intimidated to go in there at first, for so many reasons, now I know it as a friendly place where I am a part of the group, we recognize each other, spot each other... We were told no, so often and so emphatically, by society that we forgot that the only permission we need is from ourselves..
That was a bit of a tangent, whoops! As for the affection, physical affection, I am way more affectionate with everyone now, I pat backs, forearms, I willingly hug friends, and I also use names more when talking to the person. Perhaps like a dog that only knew cruelty and abuse and at first cringes at the shelter, now through positive reinforcement I am friendlier.

I don't think I could have got through my surgery, recovery and everything that followed without this site.
In the early days, I was lost and even with the support of a good bariatric team, being able to speak to people who'd been where I was was invaluable. I have made friendships that may be virtual but are very real.
Now that I am pretty much at goal, I still hang out here and try to pay back all the advice and support I was given by patient souls. They might have been tired of the newbie who kept asking daft questions but they never showed it!
Great site, genuinely useful and filling a need.

Oh yes, real hot mommas coming through... Sorry Alex for hijacking this thread but shows real friendships have been made :-))))

<--------- Big cheesy grin

Oh yes, real hot mommas coming through... Sorry Alex for hijacking this thread but shows real friendships have been made :-))))

I don't think I could have got through my surgery, recovery and everything that followed without this site.
In the early days, I was lost and even with the support of a good bariatric team, being able to speak to people who'd been where I was was invaluable. I have made friendships that may be virtual but are very real.
Now that I am pretty much at goal, I still hang out here and try to pay back all the advice and support I was given by patient souls. They might have been tired of the newbie who kept asking daft questions but they never showed it!
Great site, genuinely useful and filling a need.

I don't think I could have got through my surgery, recovery and everything that followed without this site.
In the early days, I was lost and even with the support of a good bariatric team, being able to speak to people who'd been where I was was invaluable. I have made friendships that may be virtual but are very real.
Now that I am pretty much at goal, I still hang out here and try to pay back all the advice and support I was given by patient souls. They might have been tired of the newbie who kept asking daft questions but they never showed it!
Great site, genuinely useful and filling a need.

I don't think I could have got through my surgery, recovery and everything that followed without this site.
In the early days, I was lost and even with the support of a good bariatric team, being able to speak to people who'd been where I was was invaluable. I have made friendships that may be virtual but are very real.
Now that I am pretty much at goal, I still hang out here and try to pay back all the advice and support I was given by patient souls. They might have been tired of the newbie who kept asking daft questions but they never showed it!
Great site, genuinely useful and filling a need.

You already know that social support is critical for your weight loss success. Your support network can include your family and friends, and is stronger when it includes other bariatric patients – or your peers. Bariatric support groups at hospitals and clinics let you interact with other weight loss surgery patients and individuals who are considering or preparing for weight loss surgery.
Peer-to-Peer Support Works
Patients who attend bariatric support group meetings after surgery are more likely to achieve their goal weights. That is why many surgeons will only agree to perform bariatric surgery after their patients promise to attend support group meetings regularly for months or years after surgery, or for life.
Support groups can be motivating when you see that group members, who are just like you, are overcoming the same obstacles as you. Attending meetings can increase your focus on making healthy decisions because each meeting is a reminder that your weight loss success depends on your daily choices. Support groups can make you feel accountable to others, as well, and increase your will to succeed. Another reason why support groups work is that they provide opportunities for you to ask questions and learn from healthcare providers and others’ experiences.
Online Support Can Improve Patient Outcomes
Online support groups can play important roles in your success after weight loss surgery. They provide some of the social benefits as in-person support groups, and offer many additional advantages.
They are convenient – Online support groups are available through your computer or smartphone. Unlike with in-person support groups, you do not have to rearrange your schedule to use online forums. You do not have to drive long distances to attend online meetings, you do not have to attend after work when you are tired, and you do not have to leave your home to drive through rain or snow. You can use online groups whenever you want and from wherever you want as long as you have an internet connection of smartphone.
They are always available – With in-person support groups, medical appointments, or even phone calls to your healthcare provider, you can only get answers to your questions at set times, often during business hours or during a weekly meeting. But what happens if you are at a restaurant and you need to know what to order, or if you are feeling down and need a few words of encouragement? One option is to whip out your smartphone and consult your online peers.
They can let you be more open – In-person groups can feel overwhelming if you are shy by nature or if you simply have trouble opening up about your weight loss surgery. Some people do not mind talking about dumping syndrome and diarrhea at in-person support groups, but many do feel uncomfortable. However, talking about these issues is important so you can learn how to deal with them or prevent them. Many people are more comfortable talking about sensitive issues online.
Your support group can become part of your life – Some online support group sites also offer additional features, such as weight loss, body measurement, and diet tracking. Tracking is an important part of weight loss success, and should be part of your regular routine. Using an online support site that lets you track your progress helps make it easier for you to participate in discussions, since you will already be at the site. You can develop the habit of using your support group and tracking your progress at the same time.
You can discover anything and everything – You might not have enough time to ask everything you want when you only have limited time at support groups or in doctor’s appointments. With online communities, you can find out as much as you want either by looking through the old conversations or starting your own. There is no limit!
Choose an Online Support System that Works for You
The options for online support systems are nearly limitless. How can you choose the best one for yourself? These are some general guidelines to consider as you start to narrow your choices.
The community should be friendly, with official policies against rudeness. Nobody should ever be allowed to make you feel attacked or vulnerable.
The support system should be large, so that you are almost sure to find the answers you need to all of your questions because members have “been there, done that.” You also want to be able to receive the in-the-moment encouragement you ask for when you are down.
There are opportunities to get to know members more personally, through smaller groups, private message, and live chats. This gives you the chance to establish deep friendships and feel more committed to a healthy lifestyle.
It lets you customize your experience through features like a personal profile and the ability to track progress, and maintain a photo gallery and/or blog.
It is available through mobile apps, so that you can access your support system from anywhere at any time.

Let your instincts guide you as you choose your online support system, and go with what makes you feel welcome and comfortable, even if it is just a gut feeling. Also remember that you are not restricted to using just one community. You might end up using two or three communities regularly. And finally, keep in mind that the best system for you might not be the best one for everyone. The important thing is that you like it.
The power of online support systems should not be underestimated! They can help you lose weight, eat better, and stay healthy. Using them as part of your overall support system and weight loss surgery plan can improve your outcome and be fun as well!

Great article.
The word resolution comes from resolve. Resolve requires a made up mind and that is demonstrated by consistency more than in any other way.
One can be adamant and emotional on January 1 but lose momentum by January 2.
Resolve needs to be visited every day, kept alive by attention, effort and clear thinking.
My change came when I kicked out the temporary promises and settled on a permanent condition.
I deemed myself worthy of the best body I could obtain.
I saw what I wanted to be and made that become a reality.
I was determined to do it or die trying.
Lifelong athlete, healthy eater. That's it.
The sleeve gave me the boost, I won't let it down.

Agree, Alex, realistic goals - and write them down!
Goals shouldn't be static (although some will be fixed). For me, the best way to achieve my goals was to review them every month, not to beat myself up over what I hadn't done but to remind myself of what I had done. It is so easy to forget or minimise our achievements, we are all guilty of doing that.
Our brains are programmed to go with the negative so it's up to us to keep chipping in with the positive. 2013 was a life changing year for me. I know that because I can read about all my goals -including the ones I had forgotten about - from last January and see them develop or be ticked off as the year went on.
I don't have quite so many things on my list this year but I feel optimistic that I can achieve them all...