Scared to be a failure...yet again...

[hmjdreamingbig 93]

I am scheduled to have my gastric bypass surgery feb. 4, 2014. I am excited and encouraged by all the amazing stories on here and other places. The problem is...I'm scared. I've never had any kind of surgery, so I am scared of that. I'm scared of being bitchy when I can't eat...yeah that's what happens to me when I get too hungry. I'm scared...of failing. Of not losing the weight, of being the one who just..fails. :'(. Did anyone else have or has these thoughts/feelings? Thanks for any words of advice or encouragement.

[SoccerMomma73 1,867]

I think we all have those thoughts to some extent. I was a band to bypass revision and oh the mental conversations I had with myself in the days before the bypass. I mean, I failed a band, why will this work???? But it DOES work (and you will be bitchy! Be prepared). You're worried, you're taking this seriously, you're concerned about the future...all good signs that you'll do great!

[Terry Poperszky 2,784]

I am a bander, but had those same feelings. After all, we have all failed at a life time of trying to loose the fat, the hope that we will succeed now is sooooo scary. But, listen to your Doc, follow the rules, and realize that what you are going to go through is going to give you a tool to help you be successful. You will still have to work your ass off, but the difference is that now you truly can be successful.

[Jim1967 3,569]

I had the fear of failing in the beginning and now that I am approaching goal I have a fear I will not be able to maintain it. Even veterans deal with the worry of failure whether it be in the start, middle or close to goal. It is quite normal to have these concerns as we've all in one time or another dieted and fell off the wagon. Just remember this is a life style change.

[Reborn@50 15]

Fear of failure keeps us honest with ourselves. I am 5 days Post Surgery (bypass) and still on Clear Liquids, so sick of sweet lol. But, it's all as stated, a lifestyle change and if those like us continue to help each other we got this.

[newat52 1,612]

Yes, fear of failing scares the crap out of us. Have we not all failed over and over again on every diet known to man? Yes. That is the truth. We all go into this hoping that we will succeed but fearing the fail. Again.

After surgery, little by little by little, thoughts of success starting creeping in more than assurance of failure. Say what? What the heck is this success thing? What is this total commitment thing? I have a collar bone? Hip bones? I can say no to crap that just makes me fat?

Yes. Is it hard. Hell yes! Is it worth it? Bigger Hell yes! If you are ready, the sleeve is an amazing tool to help us succeed!

You can do this.

You are not alone!

Best of luck to you!

[Bandista 7,466]

Hi Dreamer, congratulations on a surgery date. So natural to have pre-surgery jitters and also to worry about not being able to make it work. I worry about that -- those feelings of "what if I don't have what it takes," etc. This is because I have not been a success at so many attempts when I have had to work so hard only to regain the weight, etc. It's different now that I've made this choice. I feel so much more powerful in my life and I don't have those nagging food obsessed conversations ruling my life. They are there to some extent -- the volume goes up and down, which is how I know I need a fill. Just know you are not alone with these thoughts. You are starting a new chapter in your life and ushering in a time of health and happiness. Good luck to you!

[hmjdreamingbig 93]

Thank you ALL!!! Your responses of encouragement and understanding are overwhelmingly appreciated!! I am excited to finally not be "the fat one".

[MegaBob 46]

I never had any surgery before the sleeve. I thought I was going to be nervous wreck the day of the surgery but I was surprisingly calm. I knew it was something I needed to do for me and my family. I just told myself that although it is a major surgery many people have gone through much more and are fine ie hip replacements, C-sections, heart surgery. My surgeon was highly rated, I knew several people he had done surgery on, and that had a calming effect too. Perhaps the thing that helped the most is I got excited about my future weight lost and visualized myself thin and staying thin.

My recovery was pain free! I did exactly what they told me to and I had no problems at all. This is my third week post op and I am very tired of liquids, but sunday I get soft foods.

The best thing about the sleeve is that you will lose weight, no doubt about it. You will have to have discipline to keep it off but at least you will be in the position of having lost weight.

[CBT 450]

I think some discomfort is healthy. Surgery is scary; still, you're making an informed decision with professionals.

You're (we) making a huge life change with an outcome that isn't known because it's a deey personal journey. That free fall can cause a lot of anxiety or simply uncomfortable feelings. That has a lot to so with having solid information and how you're thinking. It's also totally normal part if making change. Sometimes it's so hard to put your self and your needs first so we invalidate ourselves with stinkin thinkin. You cannot fail if you let your self be successful. Make it mental.

You may feel disappointed at times but you will also feel amazing, shock, proud, confused, happy....good luck. Good health. You got this!

[ngunther34 4]

My surgery (VSG) is scheduled for January 20th. I am struggling with the same feelings! I have been overweight my entire life and have been failing diets since my preteen years. Now at 34 I am tired of being sick .. tired of diabetes .. tired of sleep apnea and tired of constant pain so I decided that it was time to do something about it. Even though I am 100% committed I am scared that I will go through this transition only to find myself worse off than before. BUT I also know that this is b.s. .. I just try to ignore my negative thoughts and remind myself of the truth. The WLS's we are approaching will be the tools we need to finally succeed. Hang in there!

[Georgia 2,908]

My surgery (VSG) is scheduled for January 20th. I am struggling with the same feelings! I have been overweight my entire life and have been failing diets since my preteen years. Now at 34 I am tired of being sick .. tired of diabetes .. tired of sleep apnea and tired of constant pain so I decided that it was time to do something about it. Even though I am 100% committed I am scared that I will go through this transition only to find myself worse off than before. BUT I also know that this is b.s. .. I just try to ignore my negative thoughts and remind myself of the truth. The WLS's we are approaching will be the tools we need to finally succeed. Hang in there!

You will not be a failure And I am so happy you are young and having this done! What a new life you are going to experience. ALL OF YOU! I'm a witness. At 56, I was sleeved 3 1/2 years ago and lost initial 100 pounds to goal of 150. Kept it off for three years and slowly gained about 27 pounds. Found excellent maintenance through 5:2 eating lifestyle and took off the regain over four months and lost an additional 10 pounds. So just know, take FULL advantage of the "honeymoon" phase. Follow your plan and squeeze every pound out you can, be zealous about it and them when you reach goal, figure out what works for you to maintain knowing that you DO have to work maintenance. Your sleeve is only a tool that will help you achieve and provide the needed willpower but you have to do it right. Junk food and bad eating habits will defeat you. Protein first, veggies and water/liquids plus exercise. Man, I'm so happy for all of you!!!

[moonlitestarbrite 902]

its life changing surgery! you are right to be scared, its not a trivial thing. follow your post op plans... diet, exercise, meds schedule, you'll do great! a tiny amount of fear will keep you honest.

[WildGrits 101]

I'm right with you with my fear of failure. I have failed so many times before. For me this is a last stitch effort as deciding to have this surgery was no easy choice.

[sandisleeve 563]

Today is my 1 month surgiversary!!!! Was sleeved with hiatal hernia repair on 12.12.13

Like many of you I've had lots of cocerns and major fears going into it --- researched off and on for about a year or so; spoke to friends and strangers who had wls and read lots of stories and viewed tons of videos. I feared wls for a while and thought folks who did it were a little crazy. Started taking action toward preparing for wls in August of 2013 after I found out my insurance covers everything!!

It's scary even as I was going through NUT appointments and pre adm testing and even registering at hospital the day of surgery I Still had cold feet

My surgeon is very highly skilled and successful and I totally trusted his professionalism and expertise but still I was scared -- had some nightmares leading up to my surg date too

I got to a point and realized that almost everything we do in life has uncertainties --- marriage, driving, traveling, childbirth, daily errands, job choices, relationships, academic careers -- I can go on and on so what can we do in order to avoid them? Nothing really? We have to adapt as changes arise

As long as you are confident in the skills of your med staff and you are well informed of the pros and cons that is the best way to approach this -- it's life changing and you will certainly have regrets coming right out of surgery cause I sure did and still do really but I try to keep positives thoughts in my head

Didn't help that my mom was freaking me out with her negativity too

But I'm glad it's over and surgeries went well -- recovery was a doozy and still there are challenges with hernia repair for me but I'm doing better

I have about 45 more lbs to lose before I reach maintenance (165-170) and YES I fear regain ....I've lost lots of weight on and off prior to wls only to regain what I lost and then some

I think with surgery it will keep me more accountable because I went under the knife and don't want to have done this in vain -- I mean there really isn't any other option after wls so this BETTER work Or I better be sure I allow it to keep working

It's a very long term commitment but I believe will be very much worth it in the end despite all frustrations that come with it

Embrace your fears and concerns -realize they make you human and pray that you follow your hearts desire cause we all only have 1 life to live. Lets do our best to make it the best quality of life we can make it.