To all veterans...

[EarthyGoalie 253]

This is to all veterans, people who have lost a tremendous amount of weight, people who are almost unrecognizable in the streets due to so much weight loss...

Do you feel like a different person? (And I don't just mean your way of eating, your habits), I mean do you see people the same way? Do you hang out or socialize with the same people? Do you like to do the same things still? Do you ever find yourself looking at an obese person and thinking "oh my gosh, he/she is so huge! They should do something about that!" Do you find yourself discriminating against other big people? Have you become that "skinny b***ch" who not only eats healthy, but is judgmental towards others who don't eat healthy? How different are you? When you think about it in all honesty with yourself and try to remember the way you truly were.... Just how different?

[sarsar 824]

2.5 years out, 119 pounds lost and I finally feel like me again. A different person? Not sure but I know I'm the person I had been wanting to be for a long time.

No, I honestly do not discriminate against big people. I remember where I came from and I remember how I felt and I don't plan to forget it. I do look at big people and feel bad because I remember how I felt. I feel compassion for them. I've been in their shoes.

I don't eat only healthy but I do eat healthy a lot of the time. I don't look down on those who don't. They will change their life when they are ready. I don't let how other people eat bother me. I choose not to let it bother me. Instead, I am thankful that I was given this chance in life and that I can't eat like that anymore.

Some things that are different are the usual things you hear...I'm happier, more confident. I can do more, I feel like I am living life now instead of sitting on the side line.

Now, I can say these things as someone who is far out from surgery. Right after surgery, my emotions were going crazy and I'm sure I felt a lot of different things. It takes quite a while to settle into a "normal" life and figure things out.

[Shrinkingmom 218]

1 1/2 years out and 135 pounds down and yes I feel MUCH different! I still don't recognize myself when I walk past a mirror and I'm still amazed when I put on a pair of 10 jeans and they fit!!! (I started at a size 26?) I never even knew I could feel this way because I have been big my entire life. I wish I had done this years ago!

I do hang out and associate with most of the same people but some people have chosen to remove themselves from my circle and I think a lot of that is because of jealousy, insecurity??? I'm not really sure but a lot of people do treat you different and it doesn't always feel good.

I do look at obese people different and I would be lying if I said I didn't. It is not with disdain or superiority though, it is with compassion and sincere concern. I know how I felt and I want to tell them they don't have to feel that way any more but I don't, because I know I would not have been receptive either. I sometimes get teary eyed just watching people as they struggle to walk or to do anything that should be easier!

I do eat healthy because I choose to and I feel like this is my second chance at life! I do not look down on anyone who chooses otherwise though because we all have choices and I use to make the unhealthy ones myself. I also know I ate for a lot of reasons, none of which were to live!! I ate from all kinds of emotions and sometimes we just can't control that!!

I am much different than I was: I exercise, I love my life, I hike, I can sit in a booth and cross my legs, I am happier, I am even more outgoing, and I LOVE TO SHOP FOR CLOTHES!!! I will never be the skinny b you were talking about because I truly think I even love more because I now love myself!!

[marfar7 1,528]

I'm not really a sleeve veteran (5 mths) but I had my lapband for almost 4 yrs prior so I guess I consider myself a wls vet. I've lost close to 100 lbs (about 20 from goal) and am delighted to fit into a size 8. Would I like to be a 6? Sure. But also if I never lost another lb, I'd still be happy. Do I look at obese people differently? I confess that I do. I notice them much more than I did when I was obese. Last month while at Hometown Buffet (I eat 1 bite of about 10 different items and I'm good to go) I noticed a family of about 8. Every single one of them was morbidly obese. I caught myself watching what they were eating and how much. Wow. Not sure I've ever seen people eat so much. They definitely got their moneys worth (I'm such a waste of money at a buffet).

My judgement is definitely a wake up call. It's like becoming a racist. Not my proudest moment. I'm not the poster child for healthy eating (by far) but I seem to notice when people are eating ALOT. Not neccesarily WHAT they're eating but I'm judging HOW MUCH they're eating. It's been a long time since I could eat a whole sandwich, a whole burger, 1/2 a pizza, 6 tacos, and a whole order of fries. While I'm judging them inside, I'm also feeling a little jealous. Being able to eat a whole burger? It's been a while. Sometimes I'm bummed that 4 bites of a burger is enuf. It tastes so good that once in a while I'd like to eat more.

Ok, there's my confession for today. I'm a fat-ist (a fat racist). I'm so scared I'm gunna gain back all the weight I lost and be just like "them". My biggest fear.

My biggest fear should be that I'm becoming a judgmental pig, something I've always hated. Shame on me...

Edited to note: I had no idea that a fattist was an actual word in Wikepedia. Wow

Edited December 13, 2013 by marfar7

[gmanbat 5,889]

When I was first sleeved I was appaled by the quantity of food my loved ones were putting away. It actually made me ill. I got over it pretty quickly.

I have only compassion for obese people. I don't have the urge to force my operation on them but if they ask I will talk about it.

The greatest challenge in life is loving people where they are at...and the most rewarding.

[baniwala 40]

I am so bad about these things. I was thin most of my life, and then had a series of terrible events happen to me my first year of college and developed a very serious eating disorder and gained 150 lbs over 2 years. After 3 years of my eating disorder I got help and lost a little weight, but continued bad habits. Then, 2 years after getting better I finally had the sleeve. I'm almost 7 months post op and down 100lbs.

I am SO judgemental. It's awful. I hate it. I am judgmental of overweight people and notice them wherever they go. I constantly compare myself to them and ponder who weighs less. I'm judge mental of other peoples food choices and how much they eat. These judgmental thoughts are clearly a reflection of myself and that's why I hate it so much.

I have changed so much in the past 7 months it's unreal. The day after being released from the hospital I moved 300 miles away and started a new job, in a much more skinny, health observe city. I have completely different hobbies and habits, eat completely differently (and have different taste/likes and dislikes), act, look and feel differently. It's crazy. I have different friends too, and have lost some friends in the process

That said, some of those changes are because we moved to a very different city.

Sorry to ramble. There was so much to say! Short version: I'm the most judgmental person I know, and I hate it. I've changed more than I can even express, I often fee like an alien in my own body

[M2G 1,836]

I am still quite curvy (never hit "goal" and even upped my original goal which is still another almost -20lbs to go) and I'm 3+ years post-op. So this is to say that I never did become a skinny bitch. LOL! I still identify with bigger women (although one of my greatest joys in never having to step foot in the "plus sizes" ever again!) but I view them with compassion, and love and the sisterhood of "getting it" ie understanding where they are. (I suppose that goes for men too, lol!)

But here is something that will still startle me today. I will see a larger woman and I see the way they walk, and honestly it becomes a reminder...there are some (or many depending on how large you were) aspects to being morbidly obese that are physically uncomfortable. And when I see a larger woman (or person for that matter) I see the physical pain and it sort of jars me back to that time and place in my life when THAT WAS ME.

As Gmanbat so eloquently stated I also do NOT feel the need to approach, speak to or in any other way tell them that they need help and that they don't have to continue living the life of a larger person.

Everyone has to undertake their own journey and attempting to force what works for me on another person, well that just never works.

Edited December 14, 2013 by M2G

[Seela 1,187]

Nice thread. Thanks Earthy for starting it.

[No game 14,436]

I find myself watching obese people sometimes.. It could probably look like staring. But not judging..

I see a person and sometimes I see their sadness. And I feel like I know them. I fell like I am them just living in a different body now. It's funny but I feel like if they see me they judge me in a different way..

I want to say I know how you feel! I was you not that long ago! But of course I don't, we are only strangers to each other and to them I'm just some "normal" person possibly judging..

Edited December 14, 2013 by laura-ven

[lsereno 2,525]

Yes, I sometimes see heavier people who don't know me judging me. They have no idea I was once them and that I know all that goes with being the biggest person in the room

I was very judgmental when I was young because I had never struggled with my weight and I had NO IDEA. Well, that certainly changed as I gained weight and could not take it off. Now, I am very open about my operation, but I would never approach a stranger and discuss it.

I am afraid I will regain the weight, but that is a personal struggle between me, myself, and I. It is not a judgement of anyone else.

Lynda

[EarthyGoalie 253]

I do hang out and associate with most of the same people but some people have chosen to remove themselves from my circle and I think a lot of that is because of jealousy, insecurity??? I'm not really sure but a lot of people do treat you different and it doesn't always feel good.

I think in beginning to get that. Both in bad and good. I can't remember the last time men saw me walking by at the mall, or grocery store. I've always felt invisible. And now, I'm starting to notice some looking at me as I walk by, like I'm no longer so invisible. On the other hand, I have lost a friend recently because we had an argument after I told her that I couldn't eat the cupcake she brought me, she flipped, saying that I'm becoming like those skinny b who don't eat anything but leaves. But I know it is sooooo not true. It's so hard for me not to deviate, because I'm still very fat, mentally! But I just figured, if she couldn't understand, then we were not meant to be friends!

[EarthyGoalie 253]

I'm not really a sleeve veteran (5 mths) but I had my lapband for almost 4 yrs prior so I guess I consider myself a wls vet. I've lost close to 100 lbs (about 20 from goal) and am delighted to fit into a size 8. Would I like to be a 6? Sure. But also if I never lost another lb, I'd still be happy. Do I look at obese people differently? I confess that I do. I notice them much more than I did when I was obese. Last month while at Hometown Buffet (I eat 1 bite of about 10 different items and I'm good to go) I noticed a family of about 8. Every single one of them was morbidly obese. I caught myself watching what they were eating and how much. Wow. Not sure I've ever seen people eat so much. They definitely got their moneys worth (I'm such a waste of money at a buffet).

My judgement is definitely a wake up call. It's like becoming a racist. Not my proudest moment. I'm not the poster child for healthy eating (by far) but I seem to notice when people are eating ALOT. Not neccesarily WHAT they're eating but I'm judging HOW MUCH they're eating. It's been a long time since I could eat a whole sandwich, a whole burger, 1/2 a pizza, 6 tacos, and a whole order of fries. While I'm judging them inside, I'm also feeling a little jealous. Being able to eat a whole burger? It's been a while. Sometimes I'm bummed that 4 bites of a burger is enuf. It tastes so good that once in a while I'd like to eat more.

Ok, there's my confession for today. I'm a fat-ist (a fat racist). I'm so scared I'm gunna gain back all the weight I lost and be just like "them". My biggest fear.

My biggest fear should be that I'm becoming a judgmental pig, something I've always hated. Shame on me...

Edited to note: I had no idea that a fattist was an actual word in Wikepedia. Wow

I could definitely see myself becoming a fattist! But I'm goin to keep trying not to be. And like you said, some of it is simply some useless jealousy of not being able to eat that the whole burger that tastes sooo good. Or sometimes not even be able to tolerate even one bite.

[EarthyGoalie 253]

I am so bad about these things. I was thin most of my life, and then had a series of terrible events happen to me my first year of college and developed a very serious eating disorder and gained 150 lbs over 2 years. After 3 years of my eating disorder I got help and lost a little weight, but continued bad habits. Then, 2 years after getting better I finally had the sleeve. I'm almost 7 months post op and down 100lbs.

I am SO judgemental. It's awful. I hate it. I am judgmental of overweight people and notice them wherever they go. I constantly compare myself to them and ponder who weighs less. I'm judge mental of other peoples food choices and how much they eat. These judgmental thoughts are clearly a reflection of myself and that's why I hate it so much.

I have changed so much in the past 7 months it's unreal. The day after being released from the hospital I moved 300 miles away and started a new job, in a much more skinny, health observe city. I have completely different hobbies and habits, eat completely differently (and have different taste/likes and dislikes), act, look and feel differently. It's crazy. I have different friends too, and have lost some friends in the process

That said, some of those changes are because we moved to a very different city.

Sorry to ramble. There was so much to say! Short version: I'm the most judgmental person I know, and I hate it. I've changed more than I can even express, I often fee like an alien in my own body

Thanks for being honest. I think the only way we can start to be better about it is to recognize it, so bein honest with yourself is at least a step!

[EarthyGoalie 253]

I am still quite curvy (never hit "goal" and even upped my original goal which is still another almost -20lbs to go) and I'm 3+ years post-op. So this is to say that I never did become a skinny b***h. LOL! I still identify with bigger women (although one of my greatest joys in never having to step foot in the "plus sizes" ever again!) but I view them with compassion, and love and the sisterhood of "getting it" ie understanding where they are. (I suppose that goes for men too, lol!)

But here is something that will still startle me today. I will see a larger woman and I see the way they walk, and honestly it becomes a reminder...there are some (or many depending on how large you were) aspects to being morbidly obese that are physically uncomfortable. And when I see a larger woman (or person for that matter) I see the physical pain and it sort of jars me back to that time and place in my life when THAT WAS ME.

With just 50 lbs down, I KNOW what you mean. Just 3 months ago, I remember not being able to fall asleep because I had a double chin, fat that was strangling me when I layed down. And walking to my car would make me tired.

[sarsar 824]

I find myself watching obese people sometimes.. It could probably look like staring. But not judging..

I see a person and sometimes I see their sadness. And I feel like I know them. I fell like I am them just living in a different body now. It's funny but I feel like if they see me they judge me in a different way..

I want to say I know how you feel! I was you not that long ago! But of course I don't, we are only strangers to each other and to them I'm just some "normal" person possibly judging..

Yes, yes, YES! This describes me to a T...nicely put, Laura.