I can't believe we're finally on the losers bench! Congrats to everyone on this side of the journey. Keep us updated with your progress.

Our April first peeps are Deana Wright, MissMeagan and Nella. Ladies, tell us everything!

Thought I'd update y'all. Last night was pretty awful. After a scare with them thinking I had a ectopic preg they were then able to rule that out. They didn't find a baby or heartbeat. They did see a gestational sac. At this point it's either my body ovulated later than my lmp would indicate or it's a blighted ovum where the pregnancy progressed but the baby didn't. Go back mon hoping for some sign Of hope. Pain is a bit better since the treatment for dehydration. Prayers please. If I lose thus baby will be my 4th and I just don't think I will be able to come back from that.

Praying for you!

HW 358 SW 344 CW 253 RNY 4/11/2013

Thought I'd update y'all. Last night was pretty awful. After a scare with them thinking I had a ectopic preg they were then able to rule that out. They didn't find a baby or heartbeat. They did see a gestational sac. At this point it's either my body ovulated later than my lmp would indicate or it's a blighted ovum where the pregnancy progressed but the baby didn't. Go back mon hoping for some sign Of hope. Pain is a bit better since the treatment for dehydration. Prayers please. If I lose thus baby will be my 4th and I just don't think I will be able to come back from that.

So sad. I am so sorry to hear this. I've had a blighted ovum- very devastating...I was told my subsequent pregnancy was too but that time they were wrong.. Will be praying for you

Thought I'd update y'all. Last night was pretty awful. After a scare with them thinking I had a ectopic preg they were then able to rule that out. They didn't find a baby or heartbeat. They did see a gestational sac. At this point it's either my body ovulated later than my lmp would indicate or it's a blighted ovum where the pregnancy progressed but the baby didn't. Go back mon hoping for some sign Of hope. Pain is a bit better since the treatment for dehydration. Prayers please. If I lose thus baby will be my 4th and I just don't think I will be able to come back from that.

Oh, Alaina, that breaks my heart for you....I pray that everything will work out. We never know what our bodies are going to do these days, so be patient and prayerful. Hugs to you.

Oh' date=' that breaks my heart for you....I pray that everything will work out. We never know what our bodies are going to do these days, so be patient and prayerful. Hugs to you.

[/quote']

You guys mean the world to me. The encouragement and prayers mean a lot to me. We have had a pretty calm and restful weekend. I've finally had the most hope I've had since we found out. I haven't given up and I'm still praying. I thank u so much for all the prayers. I will let you guys know as soon as I can mon what we find out.

You guys mean the world to me. The encouragement and prayers mean a lot to me. We have had a pretty calm and restful weekend. I've finally had the most hope I've had since we found out. I haven't given up and I'm still praying. I thank u so much for all the prayers. I will let you guys know as soon as I can mon what we find out.

Love you, hon..please take care. Prayers and hugs your way!

Oh man mama i am so sorry to hear that. It's terrible.

Girls' date=' to be honest i am very worried now about this smoking thing. I smoke. A lot. I stopped for 3 months presurgery and started again about one month post op.

I know it is bad and i understand it is especially bad after this op and why.but here's the thing. Smoking is all i got.

My life is so terribly terribly shit at work that i feel i am at the brink of a disastrous breakdown. I am doing my all to balance my sanity. Ofcourse you all understand about the stressors and anxiety we have about all kinds of things - including:

• missing comfort from food

• coping without its "help"

• will i succeed

• getting foodstuffs right and ready

• doing research in eating plans and stuff (i am so frustrated cause all the info i get - 65% we dont have in south africa and i just cant seem to manage to get all my protein ;-(((

• trying to amp myself to go gymming and doing exercise. I hate exercise! And i am telling myself i like it and want to do it because it is needed and part of this process - but deep down i still hate it and i want to shout it out so that i can come clean to myself

• i have a lot of debt because of all the costs involved and i cannot seem te get out of it plus my parents are struggling a lot financially and i am so worried about them, they are also quite sickly and i am so afraid one of them might die, i will totally be f*cked of something happened to either if them and i dont know how to make it all better their whole situation and where their desperation is taking them and it breaks me to see them struggling like this they are the best parents in the world and dont deserve this life

• my mental state is up and down a lot and sometimes it gets really bad and i dont know what to do about it - i'm off my meds since surgery and although we have a good bariatric team here i feel the psych part is totally lacking, i saw the psychiatrist but it was a 30 minute or so talk and he was actually yawning (excusing himself for it, but still keeping on) and when i took a huge knock in hospital after my op because the nurses never gave me a substitution for my meds on time (after i had to harass them for it, like it wasnt even important on their notes or whatever) and obviously i was withdrawing he was just never there to check up on me - although his office is around the corner from the hospital - i mean how come?? Shouldnt that be a concern? i mean just one quick check in? especially seeing that i am a "difficult patient" making scenes in the hospital? I was flipping out and telling them something was wrong but noooo. And no use in going to my doctor (the surgeon) as he is just not one of those people that you can go to with your gripes. He is an excellent surgeon and did an excellent job, but there's not that feeling of connectedness to talk about anything that i am feeling, and my fears and problems i am facing, so that is out. There is just no psych professionals here available to deal with bariatric patients and i feel it is so so so important!

•bloody hairloss and acne

• stressing about my partner and what i am putting him through. He is sticking it out and supports me all the way, but i know he has his own little issues and am i in someway, through all this crap of mine, making him be worse off??

• and the office politics where i am working oh my goodness that is the worst of all of all! I cannot TAKE it anymore, i'm nit even going to begin to talk about it because it upsets me extremely and it is just unbearable and there is actually nowhere to turn

• and what if i get a bloody ulcer from all this smoking????

Cause smoking is all i have now.

My few minutes to escape at the office, my moments of silence when i drag myself away from the kitchen and bad food, my comfort when the stress just gets too much. It is all i have now to cope - and gasp horror what will happen if i take that away from myself??

So it is not just to quiet for me. What if taking it away is the straw that breaks this camel's back?? I am scared.[/quote']

Message me if you want to be "quit buddies".. I don't know if you have regular access to a therapist where you are in South Africa, but it might be worth a try. If not, we can support each other! Seriously, it's really dangerous; I bled so much they were pumping the blood in manually, and my gut hurt sooo much. I'm still not out of the woods...if the ulcer doesn't heal on it's own, I'll have to have surgery. I think it's the age old question of addiction....what happens if all my addictions are taken away? I think that's where support groups or professional help really can be helpful. Take care of yourself!

Kris

Oh man mama i am so sorry to hear that. It's terrible.

Girls' date=' to be honest i am very worried now about this smoking thing. I smoke. A lot. I stopped for 3 months presurgery and started again about one month post op.

I know it is bad and i understand it is especially bad after this op and why.but here's the thing. Smoking is all i got.

My life is so terribly terribly shit at work that i feel i am at the brink of a disastrous breakdown. I am doing my all to balance my sanity. Ofcourse you all understand about the stressors and anxiety we have about all kinds of things - including:

• missing comfort from food

• coping without its "help"

• will i succeed

• getting foodstuffs right and ready

• doing research in eating plans and stuff (i am so frustrated cause all the info i get - 65% we dont have in south africa and i just cant seem to manage to get all my protein ;-(((

• trying to amp myself to go gymming and doing exercise. I hate exercise! And i am telling myself i like it and want to do it because it is needed and part of this process - but deep down i still hate it and i want to shout it out so that i can come clean to myself

• i have a lot of debt because of all the costs involved and i cannot seem te get out of it plus my parents are struggling a lot financially and i am so worried about them, they are also quite sickly and i am so afraid one of them might die, i will totally be f*cked of something happened to either if them and i dont know how to make it all better their whole situation and where their desperation is taking them and it breaks me to see them struggling like this they are the best parents in the world and dont deserve this life

• my mental state is up and down a lot and sometimes it gets really bad and i dont know what to do about it - i'm off my meds since surgery and although we have a good bariatric team here i feel the psych part is totally lacking, i saw the psychiatrist but it was a 30 minute or so talk and he was actually yawning (excusing himself for it, but still keeping on) and when i took a huge knock in hospital after my op because the nurses never gave me a substitution for my meds on time (after i had to harass them for it, like it wasnt even important on their notes or whatever) and obviously i was withdrawing he was just never there to check up on me - although his office is around the corner from the hospital - i mean how come?? Shouldnt that be a concern? i mean just one quick check in? especially seeing that i am a "difficult patient" making scenes in the hospital? I was flipping out and telling them something was wrong but noooo. And no use in going to my doctor (the surgeon) as he is just not one of those people that you can go to with your gripes. He is an excellent surgeon and did an excellent job, but there's not that feeling of connectedness to talk about anything that i am feeling, and my fears and problems i am facing, so that is out. There is just no psych professionals here available to deal with bariatric patients and i feel it is so so so important!

•bloody hairloss and acne

• stressing about my partner and what i am putting him through. He is sticking it out and supports me all the way, but i know he has his own little issues and am i in someway, through all this crap of mine, making him be worse off??

• and the office politics where i am working oh my goodness that is the worst of all of all! I cannot TAKE it anymore, i'm nit even going to begin to talk about it because it upsets me extremely and it is just unbearable and there is actually nowhere to turn

• and what if i get a bloody ulcer from all this smoking????

Cause smoking is all i have now.

My few minutes to escape at the office, my moments of silence when i drag myself away from the kitchen and bad food, my comfort when the stress just gets too much. It is all i have now to cope - and gasp horror what will happen if i take that away from myself??

So it is not just to quiet for me. What if taking it away is the straw that breaks this camel's back?? I am scared.[/quote']

Message me if you want to be "quit buddies".. I don't know if you have regular access to a therapist where you are in South Africa, but it might be worth a try. If not, we can support each other! Seriously, it's really dangerous; I bled so much they were pumping the blood in manually, and my gut hurt sooo much. I'm still not out of the woods...if the ulcer doesn't heal on it's own, I'll have to have surgery. I think it's the age old question of addiction....what happens if all my addictions are taken away? I think that's where support groups or professional help really can be helpful. Take care of yourself!

Kris

Message me if you want to be "quit buddies".. I don't know if you have regular access to a therapist where you are in South Africa' date=' but it might be worth a try. If not, we can support each other! Seriously, it's really dangerous; I bled so much they were pumping the blood in manually, and my gut hurt sooo much. I'm still not out of the woods...if the ulcer doesn't heal on it's own, I'll have to have surgery. I think it's the age old question of addiction....what happens if all my addictions are taken away? I think that's where support groups or professional help really can be helpful. Take care of yourself!

Kris[/quote']

Another possibility is online support groups for quitting ...I'm going online right now to check it out. Can you find a therapist outside if your surgeons office, or is it just that tough where you are?

You guys mean the world to me. The encouragement and prayers mean a lot to me. We have had a pretty calm and restful weekend. I've finally had the most hope I've had since we found out. I haven't given up and I'm still praying. I thank u so much for all the prayers. I will let you guys know as soon as I can mon what we find out.

Glad you are finding some peace. Will be thinking of you! Love and hugs!

I think it's funny that we were all worried we couldn't do this...and now we're all pretty much at 100 pounds lost, give or take a few.

How many of us have tried alcohol? I ask because we have the 50th annual wine fest next month. It would be nice to sample a few. But I don't know. I'm fine without it and I wouldn't mind drinking water. :shrug:

I'm not a dumper. I'm not sure if that's good or bad. :X

I've been keeping busy with exercise classes and taking classes. I took 12 hours over the summer...and I'm in 9 now. After this semester I'll finally be a senior. I'm sorry if it seems like I haven't been following the boards. I really have been, I just haven't been posting much.

I think it's funny that we were all worried we couldn't do this...and now we're all pretty much at 100 pounds lost' date=' give or take a few.

How many of us have tried alcohol? I ask because we have the 50th annual wine fest next month. It would be nice to sample a few. But I don't know. I'm fine without it and I wouldn't mind drinking water. :shrug:

I'm not a dumper. I'm not sure if that's good or bad. :X

I've been keeping busy with exercise classes and taking classes. I took 12 hours over the summer...and I'm in 9 now. After this semester I'll finally be a senior. I'm sorry if it seems like I haven't been following the boards. I really have been, I just haven't been posting much.[/quote']

It is so funny to go back and read the earlier posts. We have all come so far!! It is amazing how we were all so unsure of everything but have it down pat 5 months later.

I have had beer and did fine with it. Definitely cant do it like I used too and im glad. I really wish it would make me dump!! I have only dumped once on cereal. I havent tried any sugar or fried food cuz im afraid to dump.

I might try a few sips then. It's the day after my 6 month appointment with my surgeon, so I'll be sure to seek his advice first. I almost wish I did dump, dori! I've seriously found nothing that's made me sick. I grazed on dry caramel cherrios and felt a bit nauseous later...so maybe?

I might try a few sips then. It's the day after my 6 month appointment with my surgeon' date=' so I'll be sure to seek his advice first. I almost wish I did dump, dori! I've seriously found nothing that's made me sick. I grazed on dry caramel cherrios and felt a bit nauseous later...so maybe?[/quote']

I'm not a dumper either, but I have not pushed the limits either.

HW 358 SW 344 CW 253 RNY 4/11/2013

Oh man mama i am so sorry to hear that. It's terrible. Girls' date=' to be honest i am very worried now about this smoking thing. I smoke. A lot. I stopped for 3 months presurgery and started again about one month post op. I know it is bad and i understand it is especially bad after this op and why.but here's the thing. Smoking is all i got. My life is so terribly terribly shit at work that i feel i am at the brink of a disastrous breakdown. I am doing my all to balance my sanity. Ofcourse you all understand about the stressors and anxiety we have about all kinds of things - including: • missing comfort from food • coping without its "help" • will i succeed • getting foodstuffs right and ready • doing research in eating plans and stuff (i am so frustrated cause all the info i get - 65% we dont have in south africa and i just cant seem to manage to get all my protein ;-((( • trying to amp myself to go gymming and doing exercise. I hate exercise! And i am telling myself i like it and want to do it because it is needed and part of this process - but deep down i still hate it and i want to shout it out so that i can come clean to myself • i have a lot of debt because of all the costs involved and i cannot seem te get out of it plus my parents are struggling a lot financially and i am so worried about them, they are also quite sickly and i am so afraid one of them might die, i will totally be f*cked of something happened to either if them and i dont know how to make it all better their whole situation and where their desperation is taking them and it breaks me to see them struggling like this they are the best parents in the world and dont deserve this life • my mental state is up and down a lot and sometimes it gets really bad and i dont know what to do about it - i'm off my meds since surgery and although we have a good bariatric team here i feel the psych part is totally lacking, i saw the psychiatrist but it was a 30 minute or so talk and he was actually yawning (excusing himself for it, but still keeping on) and when i took a huge knock in hospital after my op because the nurses never gave me a substitution for my meds on time (after i had to harass them for it, like it wasnt even important on their notes or whatever) and obviously i was withdrawing he was just never there to check up on me - although his office is around the corner from the hospital - i mean how come?? Shouldnt that be a concern? i mean just one quick check in? especially seeing that i am a "difficult patient" making scenes in the hospital? I was flipping out and telling them something was wrong but noooo. And no use in going to my doctor (the surgeon) as he is just not one of those people that you can go to with your gripes. He is an excellent surgeon and did an excellent job, but there's not that feeling of connectedness to talk about anything that i am feeling, and my fears and problems i am facing, so that is out. There is just no psych professionals here available to deal with bariatric patients and i feel it is so so so important! •bloody hairloss and acne • stressing about my partner and what i am putting him through. He is sticking it out and supports me all the way, but i know he has his own little issues and am i in someway, through all this crap of mine, making him be worse off?? • and the office politics where i am working oh my goodness that is the worst of all of all! I cannot TAKE it anymore, i'm nit even going to begin to talk about it because it upsets me extremely and it is just unbearable and there is actually nowhere to turn • and what if i get a bloody ulcer from all this smoking???? Cause smoking is all i have now. My few minutes to escape at the office, my moments of silence when i drag myself away from the kitchen and bad food, my comfort when the stress just gets too much. It is all i have now to cope - and gasp horror what will happen if i take that away from myself?? So it is not just to quiet for me. What if taking it away is the straw that breaks this camel's back?? I am scared.[/quote']

I completely understand where you are coming from as I am going through some very similar things right now. I don't have very much support from my husband or his family right now and my family is 500+ miles away in NC. My oldest daughter (14) just moved to NC with my dad, stepmom, step sister & her family this past august because of a lot of anger & mental health issues (a lot of it stemming from her dislike of my current husband) and my 13 yr old is just so mean, nasty & grumpy to everyone. My husband has been downright mean & nasty to me because of my smoking and because I want to move to NC to be with my family. I hardly have any friends near me anymore either.

Things have been so stressed & strained and smoking is pretty much all I have right now and I just don't know what to do anymore. I have been having constant headaches and have no energy or motivation for anything. All I want is to be happy & healthy. I have been at a stall for almost two weeks so that hasn't helped matters either as I've only lost 62 since surgery on 4/22. I just keep praying every day that God will get me through all of this.

I will keep you in my prayers as well.