I can't believe we're finally on the losers bench! Congrats to everyone on this side of the journey. Keep us updated with your progress.

Our April first peeps are Deana Wright, MissMeagan and Nella. Ladies, tell us everything!

I went to a friends wedding I felt awesome I could see alot of old friends scratching their heads looking at me

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I completely understand where you are coming from as I am going through some very similar things right now. I don't have very much support from my husband or his family right now and my family is 500+ miles away in NC. My oldest daughter (14) just moved to NC with my dad' date=' stepmom, step sister & her family this past august because of a lot of anger & mental health issues (a lot of it stemming from her dislike of my current husband) and my 13 yr old is just so mean, nasty & grumpy to everyone. My husband has been downright mean & nasty to me because of my smoking and because I want to move to NC to be with my family. I hardly have any friends near me anymore either.

Things have been so stressed & strained and smoking is pretty much all I have right now and I just don't know what to do anymore. I have been having constant headaches and have no energy or motivation for anything. All I want is to be happy & healthy. I have been at a stall for almost two weeks so that hasn't helped matters either as I've only lost 62 since surgery on 4/22. I just keep praying every day that God will get me through all of this.

I will keep you in my prayers as well.[/quote']

I totally get this addiction, you guys, but please, please quit...last Wednesday I passes so much bloody diarrhea I literally passed out on the toilet from shock...there was blood all over my pillow from spitting up blood all night, and that was before I started actively puking blood. Seriously, I almost died. All from smoking. I thought cheating a little wouldn't hurt....I didn't have H pylori, I take prilosec, surely the doctor was just trying to scare me, right? Boy, did I learn differently. Take it from a fellow rny patient...you can get deathly ill from smoking....no bullshit. As far as having nothing else...wrong! You've got YOU and an unlimited source of support from your higher power...whatever you choose to call it. We are strong people, or we wouldn't have made it this far...we love you! And hey, we can always get on here and rant when we want a smoke...then we can support each other...

And having said that, I still want to smoke..

I promised u guys I would give u am update so I am. It's totally devastating at this point but tomorrow I have labs just to confirm what the dr is saying. It's a miscarriage. As of right now looks like fri I am having a d&c. I have to stop all of my blood thinner. I wish things would have turned so so much different and Idk it didn't. I have no answers why I would after all these years get pregnant to just have another loss. I'm having a really hard time dealing with this. While a part of me wants to hold out some hope against all hope..I know in my mind it's futile. There was nothing again today on us. With my lab numbers what they are he said there should have been a sight of something at least 5k points ago. At this point I just want it over and to have peace. I don't think I'm ever gonna get over this and this is it for me. 4 losses is all I can handle. I can't go through this again. Crackheads can do it and 14year old girls can do it..so many unwanted children out there and I who could give a child a loving stable home..am not good enough. I will never understand this. Thank you all for the love and support and prayers. It's truly meant a lot to me. I don't know if I will really be on here anytime soon. Too much is overwhelming me. We are also putting our house in the market tomm. It's just too much right now.

I promised u guys I would give u am update so I am. It's totally devastating at this point but tomorrow I have labs just to confirm what the dr is saying. It's a miscarriage. As of right now looks like fri I am having a d&c. I have to stop all of my blood thinner. I wish things would have turned so so much different and Idk it didn't. I have no answers why I would after all these years get pregnant to just have another loss. I'm having a really hard time dealing with this. While a part of me wants to hold out some hope against all hope..I know in my mind it's futile. There was nothing again today on us. With my lab numbers what they are he said there should have been a sight of something at least 5k points ago. At this point I just want it over and to have peace. I don't think I'm ever gonna get over this and this is it for me. 4 losses is all I can handle. I can't go through this again. Crackheads can do it and 14year old girls can do it..so many unwanted children out there and I who could give a child a loving stable home..am not good enough. I will never understand this. Thank you all for the love and support and prayers. It's truly meant a lot to me. I don't know if I will really be on here anytime soon. Too much is overwhelming me. We are also putting our house in the market tomm. It's just too much right now.

My heart is breaking for you Alaina. You are dealing with so much at once and it is more than one person should have to deal with. Dont be a stranger; maybe we can somehow help you through all of this. Hang in there my friend. Sending love your way.

I promised u guys I would give u am update so I am. It's totally devastating at this point but tomorrow I have labs just to confirm what the dr is saying. It's a miscarriage. As of right now looks like fri I am having a d&c. I have to stop all of my blood thinner. I wish things would have turned so so much different and Idk it didn't. I have no answers why I would after all these years get pregnant to just have another loss. I'm having a really hard time dealing with this. While a part of me wants to hold out some hope against all hope..I know in my mind it's futile. There was nothing again today on us. With my lab numbers what they are he said there should have been a sight of something at least 5k points ago. At this point I just want it over and to have peace. I don't think I'm ever gonna get over this and this is it for me. 4 losses is all I can handle. I can't go through this again. Crackheads can do it and 14year old girls can do it..so many unwanted children out there and I who could give a child a loving stable home..am not good enough. I will never understand this. Thank you all for the love and support and prayers. It's truly meant a lot to me. I don't know if I will really be on here anytime soon. Too much is overwhelming me. We are also putting our house in the market tomm. It's just too much right now.

I am am so sorry... Please know you're in my thoughts and prayers...much love, hon.

Just an update....bloody diarrhea at 1:00 am...severe stomach pain....back to the hospital...blood count steadily, slowly falling. The egd showed my ulcer wasn't bleeding, so tomorrow I get a colonoscopy to check for another ulcer. I'm not going home until they get to the bottom of this....something is really wrong, and I need answers. In the meantime, they ordered a bowel prep with gatorade, and I told then forget it unless it's sugar free. They don't get rny sometimes!

I promised u guys I would give u am update so I am. It's totally devastating at this point but tomorrow I have labs just to confirm what the dr is saying. It's a miscarriage. As of right now looks like fri I am having a d&c. I have to stop all of my blood thinner. I wish things would have turned so so much different and Idk it didn't. I have no answers why I would after all these years get pregnant to just have another loss. I'm having a really hard time dealing with this. While a part of me wants to hold out some hope against all hope..I know in my mind it's futile. There was nothing again today on us. With my lab numbers what they are he said there should have been a sight of something at least 5k points ago. At this point I just want it over and to have peace. I don't think I'm ever gonna get over this and this is it for me. 4 losses is all I can handle. I can't go through this again. Crackheads can do it and 14year old girls can do it..so many unwanted children out there and I who could give a child a loving stable home..am not good enough. I will never understand this. Thank you all for the love and support and prayers. It's truly meant a lot to me. I don't know if I will really be on here anytime soon. Too much is overwhelming me. We are also putting our house in the market tomm. It's just too much right now.

{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}

HW 358 SW 344 CW 253 RNY 4/11/2013

I promised u guys I would give u am update so I am. It's totally devastating at this point but tomorrow I have labs just to confirm what the dr is saying. It's a miscarriage. As of right now looks like fri I am having a d&c. I have to stop all of my blood thinner. I wish things would have turned so so much different and Idk it didn't. I have no answers why I would after all these years get pregnant to just have another loss. I'm having a really hard time dealing with this. While a part of me wants to hold out some hope against all hope..I know in my mind it's futile. There was nothing again today on us. With my lab numbers what they are he said there should have been a sight of something at least 5k points ago. At this point I just want it over and to have peace. I don't think I'm ever gonna get over this and this is it for me. 4 losses is all I can handle. I can't go through this again. Crackheads can do it and 14year old girls can do it..so many unwanted children out there and I who could give a child a loving stable home..am not good enough. I will never understand this. Thank you all for the love and support and prayers. It's truly meant a lot to me. I don't know if I will really be on here anytime soon. Too much is overwhelming me. We are also putting our house in the market tomm. It's just too much right now.

Im so sorry I dont know what to say

Just an update....bloody diarrhea at 1:00 am...severe stomach pain....back to the hospital...blood count steadily' date=' slowly falling. The egd showed my ulcer wasn't bleeding, so tomorrow I get a colonoscopy to check for another ulcer. I'm not going home until they get to the bottom of this....something is really wrong, and I need answers. In the meantime, they ordered a bowel prep with gatorade, and I told then forget it unless it's sugar free. They don't get rny sometimes![/quote']

What is going on with you my dear?? Hope they get you straightened out and back to feeling good soon!!

I promised u guys I would give u am update so I am. It's totally devastating at this point but tomorrow I have labs just to confirm what the dr is saying. It's a miscarriage. As of right now looks like fri I am having a d&c. I have to stop all of my blood thinner. I wish things would have turned so so much different and Idk it didn't. I have no answers why I would after all these years get pregnant to just have another loss. I'm having a really hard time dealing with this. While a part of me wants to hold out some hope against all hope..I know in my mind it's futile. There was nothing again today on us. With my lab numbers what they are he said there should have been a sight of something at least 5k points ago. At this point I just want it over and to have peace. I don't think I'm ever gonna get over this and this is it for me. 4 losses is all I can handle. I can't go through this again. Crackheads can do it and 14year old girls can do it..so many unwanted children out there and I who could give a child a loving stable home..am not good enough. I will never understand this. Thank you all for the love and support and prayers. It's truly meant a lot to me. I don't know if I will really be on here anytime soon. Too much is overwhelming me. We are also putting our house in the market tomm. It's just too much right now.

Im so sorry I dont know what to say

Got my liver biopsy test results back my liver is really inflamed plus its fatty duh. so lose more weight will see if your levels go down. I've lost a hundred and five pounds already. what more does he want. My levels bounce back up higher in July so I don't know what's going on. I asked if this is causing all the other issues im having that we can't figure out and he said he didn't think so. so If my levels are still up after I lose another 50 pounds he said come back.

HW 358 SW 344 CW 253 RNY 4/11/2013

Got my liver biopsy test results back my liver is really inflamed plus its fatty duh. so lose more weight will see if your levels go down. I've lost a hundred and five pounds already. what more does he want. My levels bounce back up higher in July so I don't know what's going on. I asked if this is causing all the other issues im having that we can't figure out and he said he didn't think so. so If my levels are still up after I lose another 50 pounds he said come back.

HW 358 SW 344 CW 253 RNY 4/11/2013

We have lost the same; 105 lbs.

I absolutely hate it when doctors say, "lose more weight and then come back". I had heard that so many times with my back issues! Well ive lost the weight and guess what?? My spine isnt gonna move back to where it is supposed to be!!

Hope in your case it is weight related and nothing more is wrong? Dont wanna mess with body organs huh?!

Had injections in my back today. Hopefully will be the last!! Cant have another one before surgery in December and, fingers crossed, that the surgery will be a success.

The nurses at the clinic all know me and one started coming I and then stopped, rechecked her chart and the room number. She then looked at me again and said "Dorian?" When I said yes she said, "oh my gosh! You look so different! I didnt recognize or think it was you!" Losing 105 lbs will do that! Good feeling!

I promised u guys I would give u am update so I am. It's totally devastating at this point but tomorrow I have labs just to confirm what the dr is saying. It's a miscarriage. As of right now looks like fri I am having a d&c. I have to stop all of my blood thinner. I wish things would have turned so so much different and Idk it didn't. I have no answers why I would after all these years get pregnant to just have another loss. I'm having a really hard time dealing with this. While a part of me wants to hold out some hope against all hope..I know in my mind it's futile. There was nothing again today on us. With my lab numbers what they are he said there should have been a sight of something at least 5k points ago. At this point I just want it over and to have peace. I don't think I'm ever gonna get over this and this is it for me. 4 losses is all I can handle. I can't go through this again. Crackheads can do it and 14year old girls can do it..so many unwanted children out there and I who could give a child a loving stable home..am not good enough. I will never understand this. Thank you all for the love and support and prayers. It's truly meant a lot to me. I don't know if I will really be on here anytime soon. Too much is overwhelming me. We are also putting our house in the market tomm. It's just too much right now.

Hey, I can't imagine what you're going through right now. Just know you are loved and cared for, you're amazing and have been such an inspiration to me. If you are absent from here for a bit, we'll understand, just come back! Love, prayers and hugs.....sending them all your way.