what to say to people that tell you youre just too lazy..

[birdmadgirl 154]

and that you just need to get off the couch? that you need to have more self dicipline? that you need to start walking and excercising? that this is a quick fix and that you will just become fat again?

I am part of an onlnie message board (music content) and have been for 12 years. I havent told many people that I am having the surgery and I figured I'd try it out on these (usually very judgemental) people first.

these are the responses I have gotten. That and that its an elective surgery that could have more complications than being overweight. that I dont need it because I am not morbidly obese. that this is the dumbest decision I have ever made and I need a good psychiatrist rather than a bariatric surgeon. that the doctor is a total quack and should be investigated for fradulant surgery.

I am 5'4" and 250lbs. I'm having the surgery. I dont care what a bunch of intenet people say, just curious what you all would say.

[marfar7 1,528]

Unless you've walked in our shoes, you have no idea how we feel. It's called ignorance. I commented to my sister the other day that I was still having alot of post op pain (I'm 8 days today) and she said "I told you not to do it. You never listen to anything I say". She who weight in at maybe 135 her whole life.

Hang in there. If you need to keep quiet about it, then do so. I've pretty much told everyone (and I was very open about my lapband too) that I was gunna do it and I get positive responses most of the time. My mom and sister are the lone holdouts tho. They think I should have done it the "old fashioned way"

[Melissa1234 69]

I'm 5'4 and 250 as well. I would ignore these peoples comments as they clearly don't know what it's like to walk in our shoes. You do what's best for you and your health based on your research and gut feelings. Good luck!

[TES 858]

Sorry that you experienced this! Most people who criticize the surgery are doing so because they don't know a lot about it. I probably would not engage them. But a good response is that only 5 percent of people who lose weight thru nonsurgical means are able to keep the weight off long term. Most regain it and usually extra on top of the original weight lost. Also, at your height/weight, your BMI is 41.2, and anyone at or above 40 BMI is considered morbidly obese. So you actually are in that range.

You are considering this surgery for yourself and your decision about whether to do it definitely needs to be based on your best interest.

[hopeliveshere 294]

i would just ignore them or dont talk to people that are not going to be supportive. I am in the same boat as you almost i am 5'3 and 254lbs. my best friend is not supprotive so i dont discuss it with her anymore i dont have to justify my decision to anyone. I know how hard i have tried to lose weight. As ive heard sometimes ppl are unsupportive b/c they are jealous or just the fear that you are going to change into a different person.

Remember, its a whole lot harder to shine, than undermine.

After my surgery is finally MY time to shine.

Good luck

[gmanbat 5,889]

1.That and that its an elective surgery that could have more complications than being overweight. 2.that I dont need it because I am not morbidly obese. 3. a.that this is the dumbest decision I have ever made and b.I need a good psychiatrist rather than a bariatric surgeon. 4.that the doctor is a total quack and should be investigated for fradulant surgery.

1. Show me the research.

2. Wrong

3.a.subjective, b. who made you a psychiatric diagnostician?

4. So you are the AMA and have investigated my doctor?

Then again, you can trust internet music content forumites to be very intelligent:

[NellieBean 70]

My first inclination would be to tell them to F off. They don't live your life.

Just like in real life, you learn who your support system is pretty quickly through this whole process. Let people be judgy, that is their issue not yours. You are doing what you need to do for you.

Anyone who doesn't want to help you succeed you don't have time for.

[NtvTxn 1,262]

and that you just need to get off the couch? that you need to have more self dicipline? that you need to start walking and excercising? that this is a quick fix and that you will just become fat again?

I am part of an onlnie message board (music content) and have been for 12 years. I havent told many people that I am having the surgery and I figured I'd try it out on these (usually very judgemental) people first.

these are the responses I have gotten. That and that its an elective surgery that could have more complications than being overweight. that I dont need it because I am not morbidly obese. that this is the dumbest decision I have ever made and I need a good psychiatrist rather than a bariatric surgeon. that the doctor is a total quack and should be investigated for fradulant surgery.

I am 5'4" and 250lbs. I'm having the surgery. I dont care what a bunch of intenet people say, just curious what you all would say.

I'm thinking "Kiss my a$$" would be appropriate, but I've been accused of being a little harsh at time.

[Carol1560 45]

Well I am in the same boat as you. I definately would tell them to kiss my "Booty"

[clk 3,519]

Really, short of telling them to stick it, I don't have much to offer.

I didn't tell many people prior to my surgery. I have told dozens and dozens of them since I've been at goal, though. As soon as people start in on that "Oh, I know this person that lost weight the hard way (or the right way, that's also popular)" B.S. I stop them and tell them:

1) Piss off

2) I've forgotten more about proper dieting and exercise than they'll ever know and have tried every diet, book, weight loss method, pill, hypnosis, acupuncture nonsense they can think of, so refer back to #1, please

3) Dieting for 15 years wrecked havoc on my body and my self esteem so again, refer back to #1, please

4) For every "ideal" weight loss solution they can show me, I can point out six others that contradict it, and every one of them has doctor and nutritionist approval and they can't all be right so refer back to #1, please

5) Traditional diets have a less than 5% success rate but the sleeve results in 50-60% EWL after 5-6 years - that means worst case scenario you'll keep off 50 of every 100 pounds you lose, instead of only 5 of them. And I dispute the stats and feel that most of us really see more like 80% or more EWL. Again, #1, thanks.

6) Losing weight is not easy even with a sleeve. You make good food choices and learn how to overcome your disordered eating or you fail - same as any diet. So yeah, #1 again.

At this point, sometimes I haven't been quite hostile enough for a person to get the picture. Either that, or they're one of those people that must convince me they're right no matter the consequences.

Typically, they bring out the big guns next: that horror story of that person they know that knows a person who has a second cousin who has a neighbor that either died from bypass surgery or regained all the weight.

I respond by giving them a dead stare that hopefully conveys how incredibly stupid and uneducated I find them and follow that up with, you guess it, referring them back to #1 once again.

So, in short, I tell dissenters to stick it.

~Cheri

[birdmadgirl 154]

um, cheri is officially my hero. Thanks guys... I should have never posted that on a message board. I knew the ridicule would start and not stop. it was to 5 pages of insults and negativity in an hour. I had a small meltdown in my car at lunch thinking.. jesus christ! are they right? have I really tried everyting? Im I totally insane? Cant I do it on my own?

my answers all point to NOW IS THE TIME TO TAKE MY LIFE BACK AND NOT BE A PRISONER IN MY BODY ANYMORE... I havent been living for years, just going through the motions. I truely could not have been strong enough to endure the waiting and the doubts without this forum and you guys. for that, I will be eternally grateful. Thank you.

[JCAMDK 0]

Tell them; "well I'm beautiful, but fat; I can fix fat but you can't fix that kind of Ugly".

[scarbedazzles 74]

Well ladies and gentleman... I told a few of my clients. The response hasn't been too good. Couple the WLS fears with going to (God forbid) Mexico... you'd think I was skinning puppies on youtube!!!! Funny how when you are doing something (finally) for yourself....others don't take kindly to it. They only like what you have to offer if it benefits them. Many think it's selfish....and it is. I'm finally going to do something amazing, and challenging, and yes, a bit selfish, for myself. I'm willing to bet once the weight is gone they will be singing a different song. At least I hope they will. My husband was really REALLY worried about me going to MX, but he is a saint and supporting me to the max now that he knows I'm in it to win it. He is my rock and reason for being. Others can.....what did Cheri say???? Oh yeah!!! PISS OFF!!!!!!