gain goal regain How was your 5:2 day today?

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Swizz posted a month or two ago if I recall. It would be nice to hear from everyone actually!

Florinda - I hope that the new diet makes you feel better both in terms of weight AND in terms of MS. I don't know much about MS, is the goal of the diet to reduce symptoms?

I have been on wellbutrin for just long enough that i am feeling some side effects. They are tough to deal with but I am told that they will pass. I skipped today's dose because I feel very odd and my doctor told me that during the ramp up, to skip a day or two if I need to. The main physical side effect is a bad headache. I also feel quite different emotionally but I am not sure how to describe it. I may need to ramp up slower than some people do. It does seem to be working as an appetite suppressant - but today I made myself eat Breakfast anyway because I felt really crappy and I figured a healthy meal would be good.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

@@globetrotter this lady is being told to get the band, not the sleeve due to MS. Not sure you want to participate in this discussion, but since I know nothing about MS and WLs I don't have anything to add except to say DONT GET THE LAPBAND!

http://www.bariatricpal.com/topic/350356-approved-for-band-not-sleeveneed-some-advice/

[Oregondaisy 2,019]

Sheryl, I am really interested to hear how the side effects go. That's the reason I have not been able to take anything. Those side effects that they say will go away, never did go away for me. I would love to find something that will help me sleep besides Ambien. I would love to get off Ambien.

I'm really having trouble with daily life since back surgery. I don't know what I am supposed to do with myself. If I am not supposed to sit for long periods of time, and I am not supposed to walk more than 15 minutes 3x per day, just what exactly am I supposed to do? Should I just stand around? I am so afraid this bone graft is not going to take.

I am sorry to come here and be such a drag. I am really afraid. When the doctor told me it would take a year to recover, I didn't know it would feel like all I am doing is laying around getting fat.

[feedyoureye 3,087]

Sheryl, I am really interested to hear how the side effects go. That's the reason I have not been able to take anything. Those side effects that they say will go away, never did go away for me. I would love to find something that will help me sleep besides Ambien. I would love to get off Ambien.

I'm really having trouble with daily life since back surgery. I don't know what I am supposed to do with myself. If I am not supposed to sit for long periods of time, and I am not supposed to walk more than 15 minutes 3x per day, just what exactly am I supposed to do? Should I just stand around? I am so afraid this bone graft is not going to take.

I am sorry to come here and be such a drag. I am really afraid. When the doctor told me it would take a year to recover, I didn't know it would feel like all I am doing is laying around getting fat.

Are there other kinds of exercises you can do besides walking? those arm bicycles that wheel chair patients use.. or other isometrics? If you are using the other parts of your body, it will help strengthen the rest of your body too....

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

The side effects are tough but I am working with someone who really understands and has me on a very very slow ramp up. She tells me me if I feel bad to even skip a day. I did that yesterday because I was feeling... I can't even describe it...but a little weird. I feel better today but it will take at least 4 weeks before I am on a therueputic dose and then then it may take even longer to start feeling benefits.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

I am now 8# over goal. I am working it hard and feeling good I have turned the tide and seem to be finally relosing.

I decided to make 2 mini goals...one is for Halloween and the next is my Maui trip in February. I can do it!

[sarsar 824]

Hi friends. I just got caught up again after saying I would respond a couple weeks ago but I didn't.

Florinda, lots going on for you. I hope the injections will help you in some way. I'd be interested in seeing what your full thyroid panel results are. I have thyroid problems and have done tons of research trying to figure out what can help me feel better. STTM has been a huge help for me.

Sheryl, I always read your posts and am so impressed by the insight you have into your own life and feelings. I know I've told you that before.

Kim, hope you're doing ok.

[sarsar 824]

Me, basically, most days, I feel like I'm hanging on by a thread. I get up and go through my day feeling sad most of the time, I can't wait until I can get back into my bed and try to sleep. I don't know why exactly. My family keeps telling me to go talk to someone. I don't want to talk to anyone. I've talked to counselors before and I don't feel like talking anymore. I just don't.

My dad was just diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. That's a huge blow and basically I've been sitting here today crying all day. We don't have many answers for him yet and hopefully next week we will have more answers as he starts meeting with an oncologist and surgeon. The tumor is 3cm. I don't even know if he'll qualify for surgery to have it removed. We don't know what stage of cancer he has yet. He's been diabetic for years and basically his pancreas isn't working right anymore to begin with so who knows what they'll be able to do for him. He will also be having more MRI's to see if the cancer has spread anywhere else.

A few years ago my mom found out she had kidney cancer. It was a fluke the way she found out and the tumor was so tiny, they found it right at the beginning. They were able to remove the tiny tumor and a little area of her kidney and that was it. She's been cancer free. She didn't need chemo or anything and has been cancer free for 3 years now.

I don't think it will be the same for my dad. I don't know why but I have a feeling this isn't going to turn out well.

Honestly, in a lot of ways I wish I wasn't even alive anymore. Don't worry, I'm not suicidal. I won't kill myself bc I don't want my children to live with that for the rest of their lives.

I take an antidepressant, I have for years.

Some of this may be due to low thyroid. I am getting blood work done in a couple weeks. The dr is also testing my sex hormones bc he feels like I might be starting menopause.

That's it for me. Sorry to be such a downer but it is what I'm going through right now.

Oh Denise, I wanted to say sorry to hear the struggles you are having too. I forgot to put that in my other post.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

@@sarsar so so sorry about your dad. I know that is devastating. I am praying for the best possible outcome.

I think your depression predates that diagnosis though. I think you should take seriously your family asking you to take action. I am really sick of talk therapy too - I am not one to hold things inside so talking to a stranger never really helped me too much. However, I do think seeing someone that might be a good listener and ALSO knows how to balance/adjust meds might be a good choice. I know you are on antidepressants, but there are alot of different types and dosages, so consider changing/adapting.

Being depressed isn't just a choice, it really is a chemical imbalance. I notice with my anxiety, i can go along pretty good then once something tips me into it... it seems to take on a life of it's own. Like the andrenal response just keeps firing even after the crisis is done. My friend P has done alot of research and found this is a very common problem among people who had "abusive" childhoods" - their fight or flight andreniline runs at full throttle too often and with little provocation. I don't know if there is real science behind that, but it makes sense.

For me, it was a huge wakeup call when the woman at work took her life. I am far from suicidal, not even depressed really, but just feel kinda stuck and the anxiety... thinking in circles... certainly doesn't help with that. I was managing my anxiety fairly well, but it was exhausting to think of all the little things I had to do just to try to feel normal. So, while it is too soon to tell if the wellbutrin is going to work, I do feel better already and hope it keeps taking me the right direction - just being normal.

I am wishing the best for you, hope you keep coming here to post and hope you find some relief. You deserve to have a life that while never perfect, gives you joy and pleasure.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

@@Oregondaisy how are you doing? has the surgeon told you what activities you are allowed to do?

I think you should view it like I did recovery from plastics. Not an excuse to get fat, but not a time to severely restrict either. I emphasized Fluid, Protein and no junky food, no alcohol etc. I maintained during that time.

I went to a Mariners game yesterday my friend had suite tickets - with buffet and everything. It was really fun. We did a bunch of selfies and I admit I didn't like how I look. People say they can't tell that I have regained, but I look so much bigger then my "thin" friends it was a reminder why i need to stick with what I am doing and even if it takes me a year, to get my weight back down....

[feedyoureye 3,087]

Me, basically, most days, I feel like I'm hanging on by a thread. I get up and go through my day feeling sad most of the time, I can't wait until I can get back into my bed and try to sleep. I don't know why exactly. My family keeps telling me to go talk to someone. I don't want to talk to anyone. I've talked to counselors before and I don't feel like talking anymore. I just don't.

My dad was just diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. That's a huge blow and basically I've been sitting here today crying all day. We don't have many answers for him yet and hopefully next week we will have more answers as he starts meeting with an oncologist and surgeon. The tumor is 3cm. I don't even know if he'll qualify for surgery to have it removed. We don't know what stage of cancer he has yet. He's been diabetic for years and basically his pancreas isn't working right anymore to begin with so who knows what they'll be able to do for him. He will also be having more MRI's to see if the cancer has spread anywhere else.

A few years ago my mom found out she had kidney cancer. It was a fluke the way she found out and the tumor was so tiny, they found it right at the beginning. They were able to remove the tiny tumor and a little area of her kidney and that was it. She's been cancer free. She didn't need chemo or anything and has been cancer free for 3 years now.

I don't think it will be the same for my dad. I don't know why but I have a feeling this isn't going to turn out well.

Honestly, in a lot of ways I wish I wasn't even alive anymore. Don't worry, I'm not suicidal. I won't kill myself bc I don't want my children to live with that for the rest of their lives.

I take an antidepressant, I have for years.

Some of this may be due to low thyroid. I am getting blood work done in a couple weeks. The dr is also testing my sex hormones bc he feels like I might be starting menopause.

That's it for me. Sorry to be such a downer but it is what I'm going through right now.

Oh Denise, I wanted to say sorry to hear the struggles you are having too. I forgot to put that in my other post.

Oh my Sarah! That is so hard. I'm glad you came here and shared... we are here for you as much as we can.... I agree with Sheryl.... do get reassessed for your meds... in times of stress, no need to take on the extra if you don't have to. My newish meds have been great... I do notice (now at about 3 months) that the adrenaline shots I used to feel are starting to show up again... I'm on a very small dose, and may have to ramp it up a bit at some point. You take care, there IS joy to be found in this life... don't give up on finding it!

[Oregondaisy 2,019]

Sarah, I am so sad to hear about your dad. I hope they caught it quickly and his prognosis is good. I will say prayers for you and your family. I think you should be reevaluated it you have been on the same anti depressant for a long time. Some times our bodies just get too used to one medication and it stops working. That's what I've been told.

I'm doing okay. I am finding friends to go for walks with me which I am supposed to do every day. I'm going to sign up at the gym pretty soon and start walking on the treadmill too.

I saw John last night. I was surprised he texted me and wanted me to come over. I was curious so I went over there. We had agreed to go back to being friends the way we were before we went out for another friends' birthday and he moved things into another level. I really never thought I'd hear from him again. So, I went over there, and he cooked me a steak and we watched a movie. He told me about some problems with his family and that he's not able to talk to a lot of people but feels comfortable with me. He kept it at a strictly platonic level which was fine with me. He's going to work on my rental so I feel better that there's no hard feelings, and I know he will do a good job for me.

I'm trying to watch what I eat because I absolutely can not gain any more weight. that's all there is to it. I know my problem is sweets so I just have to say no. Not a bite. One bite leads to more.

Sheryl I hope the Wellbutrin works for you and the side effects go away. I am trying to get into a new doctor, so if I do, I will probably ask to try something different that I haven't tried.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

I am so sad...my young horse mia sold before I even put an ad up. I know it is the right thing but I am down today.

[Oregondaisy 2,019]

Did you not want to sell her?

I can't find my glasses. It's so stupid. I take them off when I read bc the bifocal part doesn't work as well as just reading without them. I looked all around the couch area which is where I thought I put them. It's ridiculous . I have an old pair I can wear, but I can't see nearly as well with them. I have looked everywhere and it's really hard to search when you aren't supposed to bend at all. My back is supposed to be kept straight at all times.

I'm going to have to call someone to come over and help me look tomorrow.

[UK Cathy 977]

Sarah, sorry to hear about your Dad. It must be tough.

If you don't want to go and talk to someone just pen your thoughts here. We're good listeners. if you just want to get everything out and not want advice just say and we will butt out. I have never suffered from full blown depression, do have down times, but my son does and I can really empathise with you. He is going through a bout now and it is so hard being on the outside looking in.

Denise, my bi-vocals are like that too, the reading part isn't good anymore. I think my reading vision has improved with age! It is on my to do list to have a new test. Don't you be bending down now to look for those glasses.

Sheryl is the horse you sold the one that went to a friends for boarding and you quite recently brought back?

Autumn is fast approaching and it was nice to crunch some leaves underfoot today. I love this weather not too hot or too cold and dry. I also treated myself to the pressure cooker I was looking at for a while and I love it, stews made in no time but taste like they have been cooking all day. It is going to be useful for me as I now do 10 hr shifts (7-5) on a Wednesday and Thursday so I won't want to be slaving over a stove when I get in.

Coops how's school going so far. Our new students are lush, hard work physically but I do so enjoy getting to know them.