gain goal regain How was your 5:2 day today?

[coops 1,790]

Florinda, I am loving the art work - I agree with Cathy, you totes have talent! x

[coops 1,790]

Well, the scale is bouncing all over the place for me at the moment... whilst we were off school, I ate way too much bread, which is what I am blaming it on... bread really is my weakness. However, that said, there were several family birthdays and that entailed cake, which I did have a bit of... so the last week and a bit has not been clean eating or fasting here in sunny Wales!

So, this week that has changed... so long bread and treats... back to clean healthy food that makes me feel healthier. Also, me and my daughter have started our own June challenge. We are doing squats, curls and push ups. Starting with 50 of each and see how we get on, upping as we get stronger. It is nice to have some one to do exercise with, that isn't in competition with me or me with her.

My sinus and ear infection is much better- still lingering, but I feel I am on the up after 3 mths of feeling rubbish. Just gotta get rid of the last but of infection.

I had a job interview a few weeks ago - I didn't get the job but it was a great expeexpectinrience and the fact that I was selected for interview, via a covering letter and application form is proof that my confidence has gone up. I can guarentee that if I still weighted 17 stone or 238lb I would not of applied! In saying that, I am also going to apply for another role in house. I did get a small promotion at the beginning of the year, which I am still working on (it is a new course development) and I think I can cope with that plus a pastoral role for the year in which the role is offered. After that our school will close and we will have a new school (a merger with another local school) - who knows what position I will hold there, but I would like to gain as much experience as I can to move foreward in the new school... so, wish me luck. I am not expecting to get it, but like my husband says, it is good to put your hat in the ring and make the right noises!

The stress levels in my home life are slowly decreasing... Betty has finished all her exams and it is likely that she will finish school this year as she isn't enjoying it and is struggling, which is making her miserable - and therefore making me miserable. Next week Hywel would of finished his exam too. So, hopefully there will me a more tranquil vibe at home!

It is that time of year ladies...lol.

Glad to hear from so many of you... let us keep fighting the good fight. And in times of darkness remember where we come from!

Hugs across the pond my lovely friends x

[Oregondaisy 2,019]

I am really depressed. Why do I let men rule my moods?

 

I met this guy and we were getting along great and then last night he shows up 2 hrs late for dinner, completely drunk.

 

Now Bill won't leave me alone. We never had anything in common that we both liked and yet he thinks we need to get back together.

 

My weight is driving me nuts, just like all of us. I talked online last night to someone sleeved right around the same time as me. She lives in AZ. She was freaking out bc she is gaining weight.

 

All I can say is I am glad I have you guys to fight the fight with me. It really helps to know we're all going through this together and it's not just me.

 

Where is Sheryl?

 

so good to hear from all of you. Please don't desert this group!

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

@@sarsar - glad you are a little less dizzy. What a setback that whole ordeal has been. You and I both understand that we don't want to give up being active! It is part of my life now and i am not giving up easy!

@@coops That is so cool about your daughter and you doing the challenge. I don't really have anyone to do that with! Keeping fingers crossed on your job prospects. I also agree you need to sometimes just go for it!!!

Florinda - loved the black dog

Kim - what is going on in your art world?

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

@@Georgia are you feeling better? i can't recall... you started zoloft or some such med? I am not taking any meds for moods right now. I am not against it, just get the side effects.

anyway, I am noticing alot of internal shifts in how I feel about things / see the world. Some of them seem really positive, just more accepting, less anxious. I am tackling home projects with a focus that has eluded me the last few years. Less ping ponging around...

Some of them seem a bit negative - like I am going back to reading alot and other old "avoidance" behaviors. I am not feeling social - haven't gone dancing or listening to live music much at all. I used to go to happy hour once a week with my friend Mary. I just don't have the desire. Last night I went with her to look at a canopy she wants to buy and we went out for a bite and a drink afterwards at a place in a different town than we usually meet in. We had a blast - sat next to some very social people and really enjoyed ourselves. I met a civilian navy support guy who was very cool... we shared a bit of wine. He is a cowboy type from Wyoming! Too bad he is leaving the area in a week or I would have invited him to come out riding. Outdoorsmen always love getting into the mountains on horseback!

I am hosting a gathering on Saturday which i hope will be fun. It is weird for me to be anti-social but sometimes I feel that way so having 20 people at my house will be a test of my feelings about all that.

@@Oregondaisy - sorry the new date is disappointing. It takes quite awhile to get to know someone and then... do you really know them? Ha. I thought Bill had a new girlfriend? Is he back because that didn't work out? A long while ago went on a few dates with a guy and it was obvious he was texting another woman etc... no biggie we had just met, right? Well, I let him sort of fade away and I assume they connected. About 2 months later I hear from him and he acted like we had just talked 2 days, not 2 months earlier. I didn't say it, but thought "guess she didn't work out" - I have no interest in someone who is holding me in backup and that it what it seemed like to me.

I have a friend who simply gave up men/dating/sex/relationships in her late 40s because of all this. I know there are exceptions, but i tend to think it is pretty hard to find a good mate midlife/middle age, retirement age. My mom did, but I just am not sure it is worth the effort...

I have been seeing Scott for 3 months and we are so compatible on so many fronts. I have really enjoyed learning to fish, he rides and likes many of the outdoor things I do. I want to learn to shoot a bow (his is too big for me so i would have to buy one) and i know he would be willing to teach me. He loves to cook and we often cook meals together which has been really enjoyable. There are some things I don't care for, but that is just typical ...however... I don't think he is emotionally available. Maybe he isn't over his divorce, maybe he never will be. Lots of stuff behind all that but he decided to go back to counseling over it.

I haven't seen him in a week (we usually see each other 2-3 times a week) because his daughter just got to town and they had a bunch of planned events for beginning of summer. I notice he hasn't made time to text and call except perhaps once in over the week. I notice it doesn't bother me that much. That makes me think we aren't really that crazy about each other... suspect he moves into "friend" and activity partner category since we don't have a sexlife anyway...

I haven't been dating others and don't intend to start right now. Busy. If someone cool falls out of the sky - awesome - but i am not doing the searching thing right now. I have a plan for that, which I won't pursue until fall/winter.

I do like having companion to do things with and I do very much like a physical relationship (not just sex, but the touch and intimacy) but you know I can't seem to find that all in one package that actually wants me too. Not quite willing to compromise. I think I would rather stay single.

[Globetrotter 1,340]

Oh Denise, whatever happened with that guy who had the weird ex who claimed to be pregnant? Has she had the baby? What's up with that?

Apropos of nothing but you know what really irritates me? When we lose 5 pounds at the start of a concerted effort and then totally $h!t on our hard work (or others!!) by saying, "well it's just Water of course". GAH!! That really peeves me, we all know the effort it takes, taking away even a small victory, particularly that first one when the needle moves in the direction we want, is just AWFUL.

Yesterday I came in at 727 cals, 29.5 carbs, 35prot. A little high in cal considering how low my Protein was but I was simply too tired to chew and all of my protein powders live at work so I ended up licking a teaspoon of Peanut Butter.< /p>

[feedyoureye 3,087]

HI guys, nice to see you all here... I have been working on some prints, drypoints. Here are some photos... the press, a pic of an inked up plate and a pic of the finished print. Its old school and so much fun.

These are of a pair of earrings I bought in India years ago, I wear them most of the time and they show up in my paintings now and then too....

Got a few pound off... trying to stay on track...

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Well, today is my birthday and for the most part it was a very good day - that ended kind of negatively. It sucks when that happens. for some reason my kid is really pissed off - what started it was he left a bunch of stuff out when he made dinner - which he almost always does. I get home and of course started doing my usual of cleaning up the mess when i just thought.. this is ridiculous. I waited for him to get out of the shower and then insisted he clean his own mess up. I was very calm through all of it, but he claims that he doesn't mind "helping out" but the way i communicate makes him angry. It was all i could do to keep from saying something i would regret like - MOVE YOUR EFFING ASS OUT... how do you like THAT communication...lol. He is planning to move in a month so no particular reason to damage our relationship any further by getting all upset. It is just old, really old.

Then Scott called. He forgot it was my birthday, not that big of a deal since I told him when we first met. I tried to remind him when we talked early in the week, but he was so preoccupied with his daughter he wasn't really into talking to me so i just let it go. anyway, the disappointing part was last time we talked we were going to get together next week. He forgot about that and started going on about how he signed her up for hunters education classes so next week will be sitting through that every night from 6-9pm. So I was like...oh, i guess we aren't getting together next week and then I hear the wheels turning as he starts saying, oh we can do lunch or something.

I do think he wants to keep seeing me, but he gets so obsessed.. so focused on what is in front of him. He is a very intense person which I am okay with, but you need to be able to follow more than one track at once. His daughter is and should be his #1 priority but this is kind of ridiculous that there is scarcely time for a phone call.

Anyway, I am not all depressed, more annoyed than anything. Damn, before those last two interactions of the day - I would have said that turning freaking 51 wasn't so bad...

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Forgot to mention.. today I had Protein Drinks for Breakfast and lunch and then my restaurant "birthday dinner". I took my BDay off from work and did work around my place, was really active all day. Only reason I had my lunch shake is that I felt weak/tired - no hunger.

The lesson that I learn over, and over and over again is quite simple. When I am eating alot, i get hungry. When I eat lightly my appetite decreases. sheesh, this isn't that complicated and yet it continues to be elusive.

[UK Cathy 977]

Happy Birthday XX

[coops 1,790]

Happy Birthday Sheryl! xx

[feedyoureye 3,087]

Happy Birthday Sheryl... Men! Thats all I gotta say!

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Well, I got sorted out the little mini drama with one of my sons... that was really bugging me so I feel much better now!

Anyway, I have had 2 of 3 birthday celebrations - so fun. My best friend took me out on Wednesday for dinner. Thursday, my friend I went to Costa Rica with took me out on one of our local "wine walks" - very very fun! Saturday i am hosting a small BBQ with a few friends, family and even some of my sons' friends. By small I mean, fewer than 25 people..ha!

So, I decided to kick myself in the butt and buckle down. 2 Protein drinks and dinner. Just a few days of this and I have already lost 6 pounds. Yeah yeah, Water weight that bounced on me very rapidly but it still feels great to be back in the neighborhood of my goal weight. I think if I can sustain this (more or less) for a month i will be back where I want to be - solidly under goal and NOT water weight. I have events planned including weekend long girls weekend etc so I will be far from perfect, but if I do it MOST days, it will work.

[Globetrotter 1,340]

AHEM! WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT THAT SELF-DEPRECATING CRAP???? Whether it be factual or not, I just LOATHE it when we completely disregard a win/triumph/reward of a loss by then demurring with "oh well it's just water" GAHHHHHHHHH!

[feedyoureye 3,087]

AHEM! WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT THAT SELF-DEPRECATING CRAP???? Whether it be factual or not, I just LOATHE it when we completely disregard a win/triumph/reward of a loss by then demurring with "oh well it's just water" GAHHHHHHHHH!

I hear your feelings about this, I just do not have the same response. When I dump a bunch of pounds very quickly from eating low carbs/calorie and high Protein, it is mostly from Water weight... no self depreciation at all.... it still feels fantastic, I am happy about it, and know that later weight loss (probably slower) will be fat, if Im eating and exercising right, and not muscle or water. No prob..... really what that statement means to me, is if I don't keep up the good work, it will show up back on in about a minute... still just water.