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Single sleevers?

missyjoy2078

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missyjoy2078    381

missyjoy2078
Posted

Basically I want to hear from the single sleevers and how You feel dating post sleeve. Do you feel more confident? Do you feel like you have attention from people that possibly would have not noticed you before?

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Jacqueline Marie    73

Jacqueline Marie
Posted

I am a single sleever!!! I am still pre op, I have lost weight on my own 15-20 lbs. And I get a lot of attention, kinda weird at first lol but I am starting to get used to it. My confidence is sky high already but I am still scared to date. I think the same fears that were their before are still here. Might take a bit longer to get over it, or I think I am becoming just pickier!

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blondie1007    51

blondie1007
Posted

You know what's funny. I went from a size 24 to a size 8/10 and I get more attention and more date requests, but I have no desire to date and be in a relationship. I know my life has changed in a lot of ways, but I wasn't expecting this at all. Maybe it will change and maybe it won't. But right now I am completely satisfied and happy which is all that matters.

tashiepurple, Jacqueline Marie, mishy102 and 1 other reacted to this

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missyjoy2078    381

missyjoy2078
Posted

You know what's funny. I went from a size 24 to a size 8/10 and I get more attention and more date requests' date=' but I have no desire to date and be in a relationship. I know my life has changed in a lot of ways, but I wasn't expecting this at all. Maybe it will change and maybe it won't. But right now I am completely satisfied and happy which is all that matters. [/quote']

Why no desire? God dying to be 8/10!

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caitiebug    26

caitiebug
Posted

You know what's funny. I went from a size 24 to a size 8/10 and I get more attention and more date requests' date=' but I have no desire to date and be in a relationship. I know my life has changed in a lot of ways, but I wasn't expecting this at all. Maybe it will change and maybe it won't. But right now I am completely satisfied and happy which is all that matters. [/quote']

Can I ask where you started and how much you've lost? I'm a 24 started at 310 and now 272 (one week post op-not sure what size now cause I'm rocking the sweats until real pants don't hurt) and an 8/10 seems like a lovely far away dream.

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blondie1007    51

blondie1007
Posted

I think my desire changed when I started becoming more in tune with me and body. I started doing yoga and putting a lot of energy into that instead of trying to find a man. I started out at 275 and was a size 24. I am 5'7 in height. Hope this helps. Keep looking up!

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iontash    25

iontash
Posted

I got out of a terrible relationship 7 months ago or so and I am ready to date in a sense. Although I don't plan on dating until I lose at least 50 more pounds. It is a confidence thing for me. Before I got into my last relationship I was a size 6 to 8. I am a 18 to 16 right now. I have never tried dating while over weight. It's not that I don't think I'm attractive, I'm just not comfortable and I believe it will show. Not being confident tends to attract the scumbag men. So I will wait.

highest weight = 228 DOS = 219 CW = 201 DOS was May 7th 2013

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missyjoy2078    381

missyjoy2078
Posted

I got out of a terrible relationship 7 months ago or so and I am ready to date in a sense. Although I don't plan on dating until I lose at least 50 more pounds. It is a confidence thing for me. Before I got into my last relationship I was a size 6 to 8. I am a 18 to 16 right now. I have never tried dating while over weight. It's not that I don't think I'm attractive' date=' I'm just not comfortable and I believe it will show. Not being confident tends to attract the scumbag men. So I will wait.

highest weight = 228 DOS = 219 CW = 201 DOS was May 7th 2013[/quote']

Exactly. I think hating myself has put me into horrible situations with bad men. I really hope that the outcome of all of this is me - liking myself more

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iontash    25

iontash
Posted

Exactly. I think hating myself has put me into horrible situations with bad men. I really hope that the outcome of all of this is me - liking myself more

This is what made me stay with a horrible "sociopath next door" type of man for wayyyy longer than I should have. I realized 2 years in that he was a piece of crap (he hid it well at first) but I stayed. partially because I was overweight and didnt want to be on the dating scene again. I wasted too many years and just got bigger and bigger. Leaving him was a great decision. I will never ever put up with shady, lying, manipulative, weirdo men again lol.

Liking and loving yourself makes a world of difference. this weight loss journey has fueled me to address my other issues and seek assistance in other areas of my life where necessary so that I can go back to being the confident no nonsense woman I was in my 20s.

Good luck to you.

highest weight = 228 DOS = 219 CW = 201 DOS was May 7th 2013

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hourglass    22

hourglass
Posted

I am a single sleever as well and I've always gotten attention. I think I am kind of used to it, and I am so thankful that I am getting sleeved a little older. I was quite slim until age 20, then gradually gained massive weight over 10 years. I was also married. The decision to lose weight was a catalyst for my divorce, unfortunately. I think moving my 6'/400lb mother in law in was a mistake for my health and my marriage.

I am kind of scared of the attention that I will get when I am a regular size again (regular being 18 and under). I've always gotten attention but that constant unrelenting attention that I got as a younger person or that I see my small friends have to go through scares the heck out of me.

I do not date for religious reasons but it's very uncomfortable when even the nurses in the hospital or the hospital valet people are like "Don't get pregnant." and "You're going to have to beat men off with a stick." Like, I don't even want to think about that! LOL. Even my doctor was pressuring me about birth control. I kept telling them "I won't be doing any of that until I get remarried". Such awkward conversations OMG.

I just got sleeved Thursday and the few people I let know are already saying that I am going to be mean or going to be a 'B' word when I get skinny. I lost about 120lbs before my surgery and people are saying I have changed, that I am different, etc. Most of these people were not in my life though when I weighed 135lbs LOL so they don't know I have always just been the same 'me'.

I would LOVE to hear what other people have experienced about this. Also, how do you deal with the paranoia of "Would they have liked me fat? What happens when they find out I had WLS? Would they leave me if they found out I used to be almost 500lbs?"

I plan to get married again ONE DAY, God willing but I'm so scared because I know attractiveness and physical fitness are huge factors that are considered when men look for wives.

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valdostaGA    149

valdostaGA
Posted

I'm single now and get a lot of attention after 116lb loss but I have no desire to date:) I'm enjoying me!

Sent from my iPhone using VST

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Go To Topic Listing POST-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A

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    • Aunty Mamo

      Aunty Mamo

      Iʻm roughly 6 weeks post-op this morning and have begun to feel like a normal human, with a normal human body again. I started introducing solid foods and pill forms of medications/supplements a couple of weeks ago and it's really amazing to eat meals with my family again, despite the fact that my portions are so much smaller than theirs. 
      I live on the island of Oʻahu and spend a lot of time in the water- for exercise, for play,  and for spiritual & mental health. The day I had my month out appointment with my surgeon, I packed all my gear in my truck, anticipating his permission to get back in the ocean. The minute I walked out of that hospital I drove straight to the shore and got in that water. Hallelujah! My appointment was at 10 am. I didn't get home until after 5 pm. 
      I'm down 31 pounds since the day of surgery and 47 since my pre-op diet began, with that typical week long stall occurring at three weeks. I'm really starting to see some changes lately- some of my clothing is too big, some fits again. The most drastic changes I notice however are in my face. I've also noticed my endurance and flexibility increasing. I was really starting to be held up physically, and I'm so grateful that I'm seeing that turn around in such short order. 
      My general disposition lately is hopeful and motivated. The only thing that bugs me on a daily basis still is the way those supplements make my house smell. So stink! But I just bought a smell proof bag online that other people use to put their pot in. My house doesn't stink anymore. 
       
      · 0 replies
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    • BeanitoDiego

      BeanitoDiego

      Oh yeah, something I wanted to rant about, a billing dispute that cropped up 3 months ago.
      Surgery was in August of 2023. A bill shows up for over $7,000 in January. WTF? I asks myself. I know that I jumped through all of the insurance hoops and verified this and triple checked that, as did the surgeon's office. All was set, and I paid all of the known costs before surgery.
      A looong story short, is that an assistant surgeon that was in the process of accepting money from my insurance company touched me while I was under anesthesia. That is what the bill was for. But hey, guess what? Some federal legislation was enacted last year to help patients out when they cannot consent to being touched by someone out of their insurance network. These types of bills fall under something called, "surprise billing," and you don't have to put up with it.
      https://www.cms.gov/nosurprises
      I had to make a lot of phone calls to both the surgeon's office and the insurance company and explain my rights and what the maximum out of pocket costs were that I could be liable for. Also had to remind them that it isn't my place to be taking care of all of this and that I was going to escalate things if they could not play nice with one another.
      Quick ending is that I don't have to pay that $7,000+. Advocate, advocate, advocate for yourself no matter how long it takes and learn more about this law if you are ever hit with a surprise bill.
      · 0 replies
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    • BeanitoDiego

      BeanitoDiego

      Some days I feel like an infiltrator... I'm participating in society as a "thin" person. They have no idea that I haven't always been one of them! 🤣
      · 0 replies
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    • ChunkCat

      ChunkCat

      Thank you everyone for your well wishes! I totally forgot I wrote an update here... I'm one week post op today. I gained 15 lbs in water weight overnight because they had to give me tons of fluids to bring my BP up after surgery! I stayed one night in the hospital. Everything has been fine except I seem to have picked up a bug while I was there and I've been running a low grade fever, coughing, and a sore throat. So I've been hydrating well and sleeping a ton. So far the Covid tests are negative.
      I haven't been able to advance my diet past purees. Everything I eat other than tofu makes me choke and feels like trying to swallow rocks. They warned me it would get worse before it gets better, so lets hope this is all normal. I have my follow up on Monday so we'll see. Living on shakes and soup again is not fun. I had enough of them the first time!! LOL 
      · 0 replies
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    • BeanitoDiego

      BeanitoDiego

      Still purging all of the larger clothing. This morning, a shirt that I ADORED wearing ended up on top. Hard to let it go, but it was also hard to let go of those habits that also no longer serve my highest good. Onward and upward!
      · 0 replies
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