Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Ideas for what to tell people?



Recommended Posts

All right. So I'm due back at work next week and I'm definitely ready to get out of the house!

My question is, what did you guys tell people when you didn't want to reveal the real surgery?

I'm at a loss. Some coworkers can be inquisitive. I won't say "nosey" because they're all very nice, but I'm sure they'll ask where I've been for 3 weeks and notice the ~15 lbs lost!

My thoughts were to say something about stomach ulcers. Or maybe something about my PCOS. I DO have PCOS and that's a major cause of my weight gain, so it's not a huge lie.

And then part of me wants to just tell the truth... Worded in a way like "my PCOS was bad and my insulin was skyrocketing (all true!) so I had this surgery to help me lose weight and fix the issues."

I'm sure I'm worrying over nothing but was just interested in what you guys told others. I'm a "lightweight" so I feel like this may confuse some of them or even insult some of the ladies who are larger than me.

Any tips?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I haven't had surgery yet, but personally I plan to be open & honest about it, because it's too hard for me to keep up a story - I get confused about who I told what. That being said, if someone straight up asks me how I'm losing weight, I'm going to say something along the lines of, "Lots of healthy eating & exercise. I also had a vertical sleeve gastronomy done." For some reason, there's a lot of people who will get super judgey if you answer simply, weight loss surgery.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I told mine I was back on Weight Watchers & hitting the gym again. I told them 'female' surgery - and they let it go for the most part.

I would advise anyone to keep it private. Once you tell someone - there's no taking it back & people can be mean, intentionally and unintentionally.

Do what is best for you!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Believe it or not not a lot of people are going to notice 15 lbs. tell them you had to take care of some personal family business and then look mournful. It worked for me :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Why lie and who cares what people say is my opinion :)

They don't pay my bills or live in my body to judge me or my decisions to help me be healthiest I can be. Maybe by being upfront it may help others make this life changing decision that someone at home is not supporting them on....I think when people judge (anything) its because they don't understand and its easier to cut someone down.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Tell them the truth if you are not comfortable saying nothing then just tell them the truth.

I have only ever had one negative comment, and even that I dealt with later by letting the person know that their comment was neither accurate nor kind and they apologised and retracted having not meant to cause offence.

In addition, I have discovered several people in my work and social life who have also had WLS. It has given me a wider support network with people who understand. Many have been amazed at how open I am about having had the surgery, but really why not be open I say? It is not like they did not know I was obese and struggling before. I knew as I lost weight people would positively comment and ask what I had done and I would not, could not, lie. Especially not to others struggling with their weight. I would hate to give the message that these amazing results are through diet and exercise alone.

Honesty always works when silence isn't an option.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

All right. So I'm due back at work next week and I'm definitely ready to get out of the house!

My question is' date=' what did you guys tell people when you didn't want to reveal the real surgery?

I'm at a loss. Some coworkers can be inquisitive. I won't say "nosey" because they're all very nice, but I'm sure they'll ask where I've been for 3 weeks and notice the ~15 lbs lost!

My thoughts were to say something about stomach ulcers. Or maybe something about my PCOS. I DO have PCOS and that's a major cause of my weight gain, so it's not a huge lie.

And then part of me wants to just tell the truth... Worded in a way like "my PCOS was bad and my insulin was skyrocketing (all true!) so I had this surgery to help me lose weight and fix the issues."

I'm sure I'm worrying over nothing but was just interested in what you guys told others. I'm a "lightweight" so I feel like this may confuse some of them or even insult some of the ladies who are larger than me.

Any tips?[/quote']

Its super personal, but you could say you had some surgery to fix some fertility issues.... Completely the truth!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am using the old standby & telling people that my gall bladder made me very sick & it had to be removed.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Once I made up my mind about having WLS I told my husband I was not telling a soul and if they asked I would simply say I had a hernia repaired.

Once I went to my seminar we spoke very openly to our children about me wanting to be healthy so I can have a long life and be there for them. Well my sweet son of mine spilled the Beans to the one person I did not want to know ( sister n law). He didn't mean to I think he was truly excited for me plus he's only 8 haha!

Once he told her I decided you know if I'm going to be successful I can't be ashamed and scared what people think. As long as my husband is supportive that's all that matters. There will always be someone that won't agree and sees it as an easy way out. Then I think what if I can be that one person that can help someone take that first step and become healthy!! Even though I may not lose all my weight by myself and I will having WLS my goal is to be healthy and active and I want to be an inspiration to someone!! I won't have it printed in the news paper but I will be up front if they ask me...I figure if they care for me they will support me!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Be honest. The problem with trying to twist the facts is you have to remember exactly what you told who, then your story will change a bit with each person you tell.

Sooner or later the people you talk to will talk to each other, and with the differences in what each of them were told, they will figure out that you are hiding something. Then they will either assume the worst (you're dying and hiding it) or they will lose respect for you because they now consider you a liar.

Additionally if gossip is a concern for you, the best way to thwart gossip is to lay it all out there yourself.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I told the truth but simply withheld all the facts. I was diagnosed with a hiatal hernia- true and had surgery to resolve the problems it was causing. Also true.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have been open with everyone through my entire journey and I have more support than I know what to do with! I think sometimes we née to give people a little more credit than we do, you may be surprised by the reactions of people if you up front! I believe obesity is a disease that needs to be cured like any other and I think we are all very brave for taking control of the situation! BE PROUD!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I vote for being open and honest. You will be surprised at the amount of support you get. You might have to explain all the health benefits you get from this surgery but it will be worth it. You might find that you will possible inspire some friends and family to pursue a healthier lifestyle, whether also getting the sleeve or just eating better. Good luck.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

There was one person who specifically asked what I was doing. I told them, restraint and exercise. Both true. I also had a hernia repair so if they push that is what I will say. I was also on our WW at Work program. So some have asked if I was still doing WW.

I have been in the face of ridicule long enough. I'm not going to add to it with people who really don't mean me well.

I say do what is best for you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

They really might not notice 15 lbs. If you want to keep it private, I would say something like thank you for asking, you were on medical leave, but feeling much better now--then change the subject. Completely true. I think it's a personal choice how much info you want to share, but once you share even a little detail (like getting surgery to help you lose weight to help with PCOS--which is true too), be prepared for followup questions, because you will sort of be inviting them.

If you just say medical leave and send signals that you want to keep it private, someone would have to be pretty rude to ask more about it. And you could avoid answering.

Once you tell people you had WLS, they will start asking how much you have lost so far constantly--and if you hit a stall it will make it even more depressing. Again, it's a personal decision, but for me, I didn't want to be under a microscope by people I don't even know that well. Others would rather be very open, and I support that decision too, but it sounds like you are leaning in the other direction.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • jparadigm

      Happy Wednesday!
       
      I hope everyone is having a lovely week so far! 
      It's been a bit of a struggle this last week...I'm hungry ALL the time.
      · 1 reply
      1. BlondePatriotInCDA

        Have a great Wednesday too! Sorry you're hungry all the time, I'm pretty much the same..and I'm sick of eating the same food all the time.

    • ChunkCat

      Well, tomorrow I go in for an impromptu hiatal hernia repair after ending up in the ER over the weekend because I couldn't get food down and water was moving at a trickle... I've been having these symptoms on and off for a few weeks but Sunday was the worst by far and came with chest pain and trouble breathing. The ER PA thinks it is just esophagitis and that the surgeon and radiologist are wrong. But the bariatric surgeon swears it is a hernia, possibly a sliding one based on my symptoms. So he fit me into his schedule this week to repair it! I hope he's right and this sorts it out. He's going to do a scope afterwards to be sure there is nothing wrong with the esophagus. Here's hoping it all goes well!!
      · 2 replies
      1. AmberFL

        omgsh!! Hope all goes well!! Keeping you in my thoughts!

      2. gracesmommy2

        Hope you’re doing well!

    • jparadigm

      Hello lovlies!
      Today is a beautiful day in west Michigan! I hope you all have a beautiful Tuesday and rest of your week!! 🤗
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Clueless_girl

      Having gall bladder surgery in a few days and I so hope the recovery is easier than the one from the modified DS! I could use a bit of luck/pep talk for a change. I'm starting to be able to walk around without experiencing dizziness, but it would be great if the random pain in my chest and abdomen would go away!!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Dawn 1974

      4/4/2024 - new patient orientation. Wt 313
      4/5/2024 - got all my lab work done.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×