All right. So I'm due back at work next week and I'm definitely ready to get out of the house!

My question is, what did you guys tell people when you didn't want to reveal the real surgery?

I'm at a loss. Some coworkers can be inquisitive. I won't say "nosey" because they're all very nice, but I'm sure they'll ask where I've been for 3 weeks and notice the ~15 lbs lost!

My thoughts were to say something about stomach ulcers. Or maybe something about my PCOS. I DO have PCOS and that's a major cause of my weight gain, so it's not a huge lie.

And then part of me wants to just tell the truth... Worded in a way like "my PCOS was bad and my insulin was skyrocketing (all true!) so I had this surgery to help me lose weight and fix the issues."

I'm sure I'm worrying over nothing but was just interested in what you guys told others. I'm a "lightweight" so I feel like this may confuse some of them or even insult some of the ladies who are larger than me.

Any tips?

Would you be open to sharing all this info with people who you barely know in person? It's easy to be open and honest on a forum' date=' so it doesn't surprise me that you would be fine with answering these questions because of the anonymity of the internet. Being honest is also saying that you are watching what you eat and eating smaller portions, that's not a lie and it is a totally valid/truthful response also.[/quote']

A lie of omission is still a lie.

I know' date=' I usually don't comment and the one time I do I get this :-)

I believe I just need to stop explaining myself and digging myself deeper. it really wasn't meant to be an argument, just a thought I had. Lesson learned, I'll just continue to be a lurker from now on.[/quote']

Don't do that! We all have opinions and you know what they say about those!

Your fine! We are all fine! It's a good day smile

A lie of omission is still a lie.

That's your OPINION that it's a lie by omission. It's also another attempt to shame someone into disclosing something that they consider private, which in this case happens to be surgery. Are you saying that you are willing to share any and everything with strangers when asked?

That's your OPINION that it's a lie by omission. It's also another attempt to shame someone into disclosing something that they consider private' date=' which in this case happens to be surgery. Are you saying that you are willing to share any and everything with strangers when asked?[/quote']

We will just have to disagree on this one. As I stated earlier. I really don't care whether you do or don't tell about your surgery.

You can tell people that you don't want to talk about it. That is a truth, and maintains your privacy. But when you calculate what you tell people in order to make them believe something other than reality, IN MY OPINION that is dishonest. Maybe not technically a lie, but still dishonest. Sorry, but to me my integrity means more to me than some random strangers opinion.

We will just have to disagree on this one. As I stated earlier. I really don't care whether you do or don't tell about your surgery.

You can tell people that you don't want to talk about it. That is a truth' date=' and maintains your privacy. But when you calculate what you tell people in order to make them believe something other than reality, IN MY OPINION that is dishonest. Maybe not technically a lie, but still dishonest. Sorry, but to me my integrity means more to me than some random strangers opinion.[/quote']

Wow OTR that's pretty hard lined! I'm glad I don't make myself live up to those standards!

Dude my moral compass my be off to you, but I sleep well at night all the same

Some of the comparisons to list here are pretty unreasonable. For example, income. Openly exposing your income (if it is substantial) is dangerous, it makes you a target for identity theft, and has the potential of causing an immense amount of hassle from money grubbers.

Lets see,

number of sexual partners? IDK, but it's over 20

Income? Well above the national average

Spend shopping? More than I should, less than I can

Debt? I'M DEBT FREEEEE!!!!!

Financial issues? I always like more (but I am appreciative of what I have)

Marital issues? Pretty much revolve around kids.

There you go. All answers are "truthful" or "honest". I believe those terms are interchangeable.

Another "Honest" response might be, "I'm not comfortable sharing right now." Or "I'd rather not say." .

I haven't seen anybody insinuate that anyone needs to divulge anything they are not comfortable with. What I have seen is people saying "don't lie".

Interesting that you define those answers as truth but yet are vague and not complete. Then you turn around and say that "A lie by omission is still a lie" Which is it? You can't have it both ways. You either tell it all or you are lying. That's what I hear you saying. Interesting indeed.

It must be hard to be humble when you're perfect in every way.

This subject never ends well. I totally respect everyone's decision to tell, not tell, tell part, tell any or not at all. I still fail to see why those who value privacy are called liars, embarrassed and dishonest. I can only speculate.

Have a great day people, however side of this coin you fall on.

Yes, even you OTR.

We will just have to disagree on this one. As I stated earlier. I really don't care whether you do or don't tell about your surgery.

You can tell people that you don't want to talk about it. That is a truth, and maintains your privacy. But when you calculate what you tell people in order to make them believe something other than reality, IN MY OPINION that is dishonest. Maybe not technically a lie, but still dishonest. Sorry, but to me my integrity means more to me than some random strangers opinion.

This is your attempt at telling me and others what we should do/say!. It's not up to you to decide what is and isn't an appropriate response to a question about how we lost the weight. You were also very vague when answering my questions and I guess I'm vague when it comes to my response about surgery............ we have something in common. Your integrity is YOUR INTEGRITY! You can't apply those standards to everyone else and then try to shame them for doing something that you wouldn't do. If you personally didn't care about whether or not people shared their surgery, then you wouldn't use words such as "dishonest" or "(lack) integrity". To me those words imply that we are lying. If you didn't care then there would be no discussion at all, it would be..... do whats right for you *end of story*.

*••• runs in drops this off•••*

*•••runs back out saying "I'll be right back I forgot the stick•••*

I'm new to the forum thing n support system app, but I love the different opinions n ideas, u are all so passionate. I did my surgery five mths ago and I told my coworkers I had ulcer stomach surgery. People are too judgemental in my country about things like WLS. I told 2 coworker/friends n everytime something happens, it's the surgery. My weight loss is due to starvation, that's my story because our portion size huge so my new tiny portion appears to others as starvation. Wrong maybe! But I'm just trying to survive. WLS has been such an emotional journey for me I don't need the added

We are all here to share our opinions and you know what they say abut opinions. Bottom line is do what works for YOU and YOUR life. You shouldn't feel pressured to give anyone and explanation about your life. There is a negative stigma with WLS and I'm sure none of us woke up and said let me get my stomach chopped up. We thought long and hard about it and who wants the negativity. You will find more negative comments that supportive ones out there because everyone is not educated about WLS. At the end of the day do what makes you happy and comfortable.

This is your attempt at telling me and others what we should do/say!. It's not up to you to decide what is and isn't an appropriate response to a question about how we lost the weight. You were also very vague when answering my questions and I guess I'm vague when it comes to my response about surgery............ we have something in common. Your integrity is YOUR INTEGRITY! You can't apply those standards to everyone else and then try to shame them for doing something that you wouldn't do. If you personally didn't care about whether or not people shared their surgery' date=' then you wouldn't use words such as "dishonest" or "(lack) integrity". To me those words imply that we are lying. If you didn't care then there would be no discussion at all, it would be..... do whats right for you *end of story*.[/quote']

As I previously stated. We happen to disagree on this subject.

Phew, this sure blew up.

I think I'll probably end up telling them that I've had some abdominal surgery because I had stomach issues. And that I'm now on a medically supervised diet. Not really untrue.

I don't want to tell them about my sleeve because honestly, I don't feel like talking about it all day long. I don't need the constant questions about it. This is something I've done for myself but it isn't something that I want to take over my life. I just don't need coworkers constantly eyeing what I'm eating, asking about it, asking how much weight I've lost, etc etc. especially if I stall or anything else.

When I went for my consultation I signed a document saying I received a copy of my right to privacy when it comes to my health care. I choose to exercise that right. Everyone has a right to tell or not to tell. Just because your body obviously changing and it is being noticed does not mean you owe an explanation.

Wow. People sure do look for offence where there is none.

If you do not want to tell people then don't tell people I see no one, let me repeat that, no one, in this thread saying you should tell the world you have WLS. If you want to keep it private then keep it private. Your choice.

What I do see and what I do agree with is people asking others not to lie. I see people asking others to either say nothing or be honest. What strikes me as so very, very sad is that this needs to even be said.

I am astounded actually at how many people in this thread have recommended lying. What a sad and sorry state of affairs for society when others deem it acceptable to lie without thought for consequence.

Dishonesty is repulsive and unattractive and all those who advocate outright dishonesty signal to me to be people I would not care to know.

There is nothing wrong with discretion. There is nothing wrong with the truth. Active dishonesty though, conscious lying about your surgery (or anything really) is justlain wrong. And no amount of coming back and trying to justify your lying and dishonesty is going to change that.

Say nothing or tell the truth. Simple. Don't lie. You do yourself and others no favours by bullshitting (or attempting to bullshit) others.